Slowly Forward
by Lunar Skky
Summary: Isabella Swan is an Undergraduate student at NYU trying to make her own way in the world. She stumbles upon an ad in the newspapers to become a live in nanny for Rosalie Hale's son Tyler King-Hale. AU; AH; Canon pairings; some OOC; concrit desired.
1. An angel appears

**Okay so this story has been dominating my mind for the longest while, even while I was trying to write my other stories it was there popping in and out, modifying itself, becoming this. I really hope u like it. Let me kno what u think…**

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Summary: Isabella Swan is an Undergraduate student at NYU trying to make her own way in the world, forced to leave behind her only friend, Alice. She stumbles upon an ad in the newspapers to become a live in nanny for Rosalie Hale's son Tyler King-Hale. While there she and Rose find the perfect men who take them on a journey to heal. Bella learns to forgive her mother and Phil and reconnects with her past. Rose learns to forgive Tyler's father and accept her future. But with everything in life there's always a hitch, will they be able to overcome their obstacles and live a happy life?

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_Great I'm back at high school. Wait, what am I doing here? _

Looking around I noticed that everyone was looking at me, not just looking though but leering in a creepy way.

_Why are they looking at me like that?_

_Why do I feel so chilly?_

_Oh…oh no. It's because I'm naked isn't it? This is one of those dreams isn't it? The ones where you walk out of the house naked and don't realize it until it's too late._

_Wait…it's…it's changing…oh…hello! Now this is a dream I don't mind being trapped in._

Laying on a bed, naked, a figure hovering above me. As I focus on his face his features begin to change. His hair turns a coppery shade of brown, his once banal eyes becomes a magnificent emerald. His face is beautiful and inhuman in its perfection. His body is chiseled and lean, and he is glistening slightly.

_If he were only real, if only he were really mine._

In the distance a baby cries, waking me from my wondrous dream and I know, it's time to go back to the real world. I reluctantly wake up and go back to the real world. I reluctantly wake up and get off the bed, immediately regretting my decision to become Rosalie Hale's nanny. She was never home at night anymore which effectively left me to do all night duty with her extremely fussy baby on my own. I trudge off to little Tyler's room, walking with his baby Anbesol to soothe his irritated gums, the cause for his fussing. _Who leaves their teething baby at home with the nanny while they stay out all night?_ Then I remember what she's been through and I immediately forget any irritation I felt before.

As I open his nursery door I see his big blue eyes and blond mop of hair peeking over the sides of the crib. I pick him up and he calmed instantly only making small whimpering noises. After rubbing the ointment on his swollen gums I put him back to sleep, but I'm too awake now to even hope for such a reprieve. Walking aimlessly around the apartment I recall every detail of my life which brought me to this point.

I was born Isabella Marie Swan to Charles and Renee Swan on September 13th, 1987. Life had been great up until my mother decided she didn't love my father anymore. Since I was a minor at the time I was subject to my mother's whims and was dragged across the continent to Phoenix because she couldn't deal with the cold and the rains for one more minute so the heat was the only option. We developed a routine, she took me to school and picked me up, and then we would go out to a fast food joint and grab dinner. On weekends we would go for drives and explore the area. Sometimes, when she'd picked up a new hobby, she'd take me along to the classes. I was able to visit my father during the major holidays for two weeks at a time. Then there came Phil. Phil Dwyer came into my mother's life circa 2001 and effectively stopped all chances of me ever being allowed to see my father again. I was crushed, but my mom was in love and so could see nothing beyond what Phil said.

They got married two years into their courtship which, if anyone knew my mother, was a long time to wait, and Phil had hinted that he wanted to adopt me and give me his name. That was never going to happen if I had anything to do about it. I had nothing against him, he treated me well, but I had a father and I loved him. Luckily Charlie was not a fan of that notion either so I didn't have to put up much of a fight. He had argued that not allowing him to see his only child was more than enough; they would take nothing else from him.

My life had been mundane and routine before Phil and it had remained as such after his arrival. I had few friends and therefore I hardly ever left the house. When I was at home I would usually just lock myself in my room and get lost in the written word, mine or someone else's.

It was in 2006 when everything changed. I was about to enter my final year of high school when Phil decided that he wanted to move to Europe. I wasn't invited along, not that I would've gone either way. He called Charlie and told him if he wanted me so much he can have me, starting immediately. So it was in my final year, at seventeen years old, that I was reacquainted with my father. There I met my best friend Alice Brandon, a pixie like little ball of energy. She had somehow gotten me to come out of my shell and experience the world through the eyes of a senior. We went to parties, where I mostly kept to the background, but I went which was a major accomplishment for me. She dragged me shopping, which I despised but went along with because I love her. We had sleepovers almost every weekend. Life had been great.

We applied to the same colleges, her for fashion, me for education, and we sat with bated breath waiting for our acceptance letters.

My world almost careened to a dangerous halt when we found out we weren't accepted to the same schools. She got into Brooks College in California and I got into NYU. That meant I would be on my own once again. I don't do alone very well, not since I met Ali. Her enthusiasm for life is what gets me through whatever challenges I face. She convinced me that this change would do me well however so it was with much trepidation that I headed off to New York.

I had gotten a partial scholarship which paid for tuition and books but I had to make my own way when it came to room and board. Which meant I needed a job, and fast.

Charlie put me up in an apartment that you can lease month to month and so all I had to worry about was making each month's rent, and food. But then he offered to pay the rent and, despite my protests, that was exactly what he did.

I allowed him to do it for my first year in New York because, let's face it, I needed time to adjust to the new lifestyle.

Then I saw Rosalie's ad in the newspaper.

_**Single mother 27 seeking live in nanny.**_

_**Pay reasonable.**_

_**For more information call 1-518-719-2025**_

Without hesitation I found a quiet spot, which was quite a feat in that noisy apartment, and dialed her number. Her voice alone should have clued me in to how stunning she would be, but I was too excited to pay attention. She told me that she was in the area if I could meet her in a Starbucks.

I got there before her so when she approached the table I nearly choked on my coffee.

"Rosalie Hale?" I whispered.

She smiled at me and gracefully sat in the seat opposite mine. She had not answered my question but I took her actions as affirmation. With her was a blond haired, blue eyed baby, with such dashing good looks that would make him the envy of every male within a hundred miles of him when he got older. He eyed me suspiciously for a minute but then, as if deciding I wasn't posing any threats to his person he snuggled into his mother's chest and went to sleep. She told me that she was desperate for help because she had many obligations as head of the Public Relations office of her family business Hale Enterprises. When I told her travelling between Albany and Manhattan would pose a problem for me she immediately told me that she had listed her home and was in the market for a new place in an area that would be more convenient for me if I were to take the position.

How could I say no to that, free room and board and three square meals a day? To top it off she was paying me $12 per hour and I had Sundays off. My class schedule was such that I would be able to attend class and Tyler would have his mom. She even offered to buy me a car if travelling would be too much of a hassle. Of course I turned that down right away. I couldn't have her spending any more money on me than was absolutely necessary. Besides my faithful truck had made the trip with me and was doing quite fine at that point.

She asked me what experience I had and I told her that, being an almost social pariah for most of my life I had virtually none but I told her I was good with children. I wasn't exactly sure about that part but I was not about to jeopardize the best job offer I had come across. She told me that, for some inexplicable reason that she trusted me and I had the job if I wanted it. It took every ounce of self control that I had not to jump up, scream uncontrollably and throw myself on her in gratitude and excitement. I was to start as soon as we, yes we, found a place to live. I was to help her find a new home.

It took us three months of looking and rejecting homes before we came across the most perfect house imaginable located in Greenwich Village. Getting to and from school would pose little problem. I had balked at spending nearly two million on a home but she told me if I wanted quality and comfort I would have to pay for it. At that point, witnessing her haggling with the real estate agent, I began respecting her assertiveness.

In the three months it took us to find the apartment I learnt a lot about her. She was a divorcee of exactly six months who was working her way up in her father's multinational company. Her ex husband had been a man of high repute who had little regard for his marriage vows and even less regard for fatherhood. The day he found out she was pregnant with their son he had moved out of their bedroom and into one of the spare rooms. The following week he had handed her the divorce papers citing that he no longer felt any desire to be in a relationship. The trial lasted only six months but it took its toll on her confidence. He gave up all parental rights to his unborn child which was the final straw in her book. Three months later her son was born, fatherless. It was with a heavy heart and cold resolve that Rosalie signed the papers to put her house on the market not two months after.

In learning about Rose I learnt something about myself too; I learnt that I was in fact very good with kids. Tyler and I instantly bonded; something which Rose said usually took him at least three months to do but had only taken me one hour. Rose was able to leave us for hours at a time in that first week and he barely noted his mother's absence.

It had been challenging trying to balance school with my duties as nanny, but Rose understood and made the adjustment easier.

Then her social life started to pick up and she was home less and less. At first it would only be once a month, then once a week. Not only was Tyler having to compete for her time with her PR work but he now had to also compete with the men in her life. The whole situation struck too close to home with me and I brought it up with her one night. That was the first night she spoke to me as my employer and I had immediately realized my place. We were friends yes, but I was first and foremost Tyler's nanny.

That had been six months ago. Now it seemed she went out every time she was free. My Sundays were no longer dedicated to me but to Tyler since his mother typically slept out on weekends. She had started seeing someone new about two months back, claiming she was in love. Claiming that she had found Tyler a new father. I hoped for both their sakes that she was right.

The sound of keys in the door broke me out of my reverie. I looked over and the clock and notice that it's 1:57am.

_She's home. I wonder if she had a good time, I wonder if I'll be able to get Saturday off. I have that stupid paper to hand in and exams to begin studying for but if she keeps this up I'll never get anything done and I'll flunk out. Then all would be in vain._

I walk towards the kitchen deciding now was as good a time as any to tell her about my requests. It's then that I notice she's not alone and I immediately regret my decision. I turn to leave but, as usual, trip on the corner of the rug and she hears me.

"Bella? What are you doing up so late?"

"I'm so sorry Rose. Just pretend I wasn't here." I'm sure my face is beet red by now.

"It's fine. You didn't answer my question though. It's really late and you have class in the morning?" just then her extremely buff friend clears his throat as though seeking acknowledgement. She blushes and hurriedly introduces him as Emmett Cullen.

"Nice to meet you Emmett."

"You too Isabella."

Oh, he's so polite and soft spoken. Not at all what I'd expect from the looks of him.

"Please, call me Bella. Only Phil ever called me Isabella and that's not a good thing." He looks at me, clearly puzzled.

_Great, way to divulge too much information Bella._

I blush and tell him to ignore anything that I'm saying because clearly my brain has shut off for the night. This always happen whenever I meet a handsome man but of course I can never admit such a thing to Rosalie Hale's boyfriend. For one she'll string me alive for even looking at him like that and secondly she is my boss, talk about off limits.

"I was just coming to ask you something but I can tell your busy so it can wait. Again sorry for disturbing you, good night."

"Good night Bella" they say in unison as I trudge off to my room. I thank my lucky stars she had the foresight to soundproof the walls or no one would be getting sleep tonight.

I drift off to sleep immediately and the dream picked up where it left off and I am grateful for the second time in one night.

*BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP*

Drat. It's time to wake up. I feel as though I've been hit over the head with a brick and I know that it's because I've only had three hours sleep.

I drag myself off the bed and shower quickly and head off to make Tyler's cereal.

I go to his room and carry him to the kitchen and feed him. As he's almost finished eating Rose and her Adonis enter the room smiling at each other. She picks up Tyler, cleans him off and turns and introduces him to Emmett. They immediately take to each other, much faster than with me, and Emmett turns into a child right in front my eyes. I begin to see his appeal to Rose, other than his physical of course.

I leave and head to my room to get ready for class.

~x~x~x~x~x~

I get home and notice Emmett's car is still in the driveway.

_Go Rose!_

As I open the door I hear Tyler giggling excitedly and I head into the living room to find him in Emmett's vice grip.

"Hey Bella!" he booms at me.

_Huh. What happened to his soft spoken tone from last night? Was I imagining that?_

"Hi." _Great. My stupid awkwardness and social ineptitude is back full force. Yippee for me._

"Where's Rose?" I ask knowing that if anything he would be the one to have that information.

"She went to pick up my brother from the airport. They have some business to conduct but they'll be coming here right after" he informs me.

_Oh he has a brother? I wonder if he looks anything like him, or if he's single? With my luck he'll either be a fugly excuse for a human being with no manners and terrible habits. Somehow I can't believe that that's true. Or maybe he'll be blissfully married with about three kids. That seems more likely. Just great._

"Would you like something to eat? I can fix you something if you like?"

"That would be great Bella."

Two hours later I hear Rose's car pull up and two doors slam close. A few minutes after that and the front door was closed as well.

I walk to the front room and notice no one but the green eyed, copper haired Adonis of my dreams standing in the flesh right in front of me and, in true Bella form, I blush and faint.

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**This chapter was posted earlier on but I noticed some discrepancies so I edited it and here is the finished product. Ignore it if you already read it, if you didn't welcome. Let me know what you think!**


	2. Where do I begin?

**In case you didn't notice I have a link up for pics of Rose's apartment. I haven't decided what I want Tyler's nursery to look like yet so I haven't put a pic of that. But go check it out.**

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**I'd rather spend my life close to the birds than waste it wishing I had wings… **(A patient on House MD)

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"What did you do to her?"

"She was fine a minute ago."

"Is she going to be okay?"

"Bella, Bella can you hear me?"

_Those voices…where are those voices coming from? I recognize Rose calling my name and her boyfriend's is coming to me too…but that other…more perfect…almost velvet like in its smoothness…I've never heard that one before. I want to hear more of it, but how? Should I continue lying here, wherever here is and hope it continues or should I wake up from this strange dream and maybe try to make it speak again? But what if when I get up I realize the voice was part of this dream? What then?_

"What do we do? Should I call a doctor? Oh I hope she's alright! It's all my fault!"

"How so Rosie?"

"You do recall that I'm a doctor don't you? She'll be fine. Her breathing is normal and so is her coloring. Maybe she just has a cold or something. For now we have to wait to find out what's wrong. I'll go get a damp cloth for her head. Do you have any smelling salts?"

"Yes, it's in the second drawer to your right. Well I've been overworking her and now she's blacked out with exhaustion, I'm sure of it. Damn it!"

_Oh no, Rose is blaming herself. Now I have to get up; even if it will mean that I have to lose the sound of the most beautiful voice I've ever heard._

"Rose, I'm fine. I…I don't know what happened really but I'm…oh" I can't even formulate words anymore because suddenly I remember why I fainted when I see _him_ again. _Wow. Talk about a Greek god._ If I thought Emmett was a catch I was wrong, because damn if his brother isn't the best specimen of the male species I have ever seen. And that's with his clothes on…Hmmmm.

_Focus._

"Oh? Does something hurt? Edward, do something!" I hear the words but I can't process them because the next thing I know his hands are on me and all else ceases to exist. His hands rest against my throat and forehead and he announces that all seem fine on that front.

"Does anything hurt?"

I blink twice to clear the fog and answer "no, I told you Rose I'm fine" not yet able to address _him_.

"Well I'm going to have to take your word for it. I want to stay still for me for at least a minute okay? Rosalie can you bring her a glass of water?"

"I told you so Rose. I'm fine! Now where's Tyler?"

"Did you not just hear what was said? You had better lie there like a dead fish or I am going to make Dr. Cullen put you on bed rest! Do not cross me Bella, I mean it." Wow, she is mad! I better just lie here because, if I know Rose, she is definitely the follow-through type.

"Fine"

"Drink this. Maybe I should introduce myself. Typically I introduce myself before treating my patients but since we did everything in reverse, and this is far from a professional setting, my name is Edward Cullen."

"My baby brother. But don't let that fact fool you because he is nothing compared to me. He is most definitely the inferior Cullen."

"Well I won't hold that against him. It's nice to meet you Edward; I'm Bella by the way." _Edward, that's a name I can definitely grow to love. Oh who am I kidding, I love hi-I mean it, yes it, already._

"Bella…beautiful." Of course I blush. I know he's simply translating my name but I can't help but imagine that he's really speaking about me.

"Way to lay it on bro. Come on Rosie let's go see what the little man is up to?" They leave the room and suddenly I'm nervous and I don't know why. What I do know however is that I've never been able to hide anything; my face is an open book.

"Do I make you nervous Bella?" he asks me with this annoying yet gorgeous smirk on his face. _Is he making fun of me? He better not be._

"Not in the least." Did I mention I was a terrible liar?

"Uh huh. I'm sure." _Damn. I need to learn how to lie better. No matter, I'll just have to change the topic._

"So what kind of doctor are you?"

"Changing the subject are we? Okay, I'll play along. I'm a cardiologist. So is my father. Emmett as you may already know is into bio-mechanical engineering. I take it your Tyler's nanny?"

"Yes I am. I'm studying to become an English teacher with a special focus on special education. I actually didn't know that about Emmett. Would you believe that I only met him last night?"

"Anything is possible with my brother. He get's comfortable around people very quickly."

"What about you?"

"What about me?"

"Well do you get comfortable around people quickly?"

"Typically no. But strangely enough around you I feel extremely comfortable. How about you?"

I take a moment to process that question. I choose to answer him honestly.

"It's the same for me. I'm normally so closed off to new people that I can count the number of friends I have on one hand. Somehow, with you, I, well, I'm not so closed off." _And it seems my brain to mouth filter isn't working around you either! Bloody hell. Why did I seriously just tell him that I have, at most, five friends? How sad does that make me sound? Ugh._

Luckily I don't get to see what his facial expression is at my embarrassing confession because I hear Tyler calling for me. Well as good as any one year old would be able to call me.

"Excuse for a moment, duty calls."

I thought that by saying that I was going to attend to Tyler I wouldn't have to worry about Edward but he followed me into Tyler's playroom.

"Edward, meet my son."

Oh so it seems he has never met Tyler either. So Edward is just as new to Rosalie's life as Emmett. I would have thought that since she was working on something with him they knew each other before that.

Tyler takes one look at Edward and wobbles his way over. Hmmm. It seems Tyler has become a lot more welcoming with new faces. Edward picks Tyler up like a natural and coos at him. It's so cute.

"Tyler! I guess you don't want me anymore do you? Rose it seems your son does not need me now that there are men around."

"Bella don't you ever say that! Tyler will always need you. He just seems to be craving some male attention right now, that's all." She looks rather unsure but determined to make me believe what she's saying is true. Rose is nothing if not determined.

"Well I love kids and kids love me so why wouldn't he come to me? And Emmett is a big baby so Tyler recognizes himself in him."

I think I agree with that theory. It makes me feel less unwanted. I really hope Edward is right because I can't really afford to lose my job and the security it offers me. Without it I would be homeless, broke and hungry. That is not the position I see myself surviving in for the next two years of college.

"I just remembered you wanted to talk to me about something this morning. What was it?"

"Oh, I completely forgot about that. Can we talk up in my room? Leave the boys to it?"

"Sure" she easily complies.

"Okay, start talking, I'm all ears."

"Well, I uh, I was wondering if maybe I can get this Saturday off. It's just because I have a paper to hand in and exams to study for and I really don't want to fail. This is a really important class and I-"

"Bella, stop. Yes you can have Saturday off, and Sunday too if you need it."

"I can?"

"Did you honestly think I was going to say no?"

"Honestly I don't know. It was definitely a possibility."

"I'm hurt Bella. I really am. You obviously think of me as a heartless b-"

"No, no I don't. You know how I get sometimes Rose. I just had a bout of insecurity that's all."

"Well then you need to learn to get over that. Don't you know that you are an indispensible part of my family? No matter what and in any capacity that I can have you. Okay? So the next time you need something from me please, don't hesitate."

"Rose, don't say things like that, you'll make me start to believe it. I already owe you much more than I can ever repay, how do you expect me to repay you for accepting me shortcomings and all?"

"That's just the thing, I don't. I meant what I said Isabella. I love you like a sister and when you get married and leave me and my son to go start your own family I can only hope that you come to visit often."

"You're gonna make me cry. You know what, even if you no longer need me when you and Emmett go off to live happily ever after I'm going to impose myself so much on you that you're going to be sick of me."

"I hope so."

We hug and then return to the boys gathering.

"Em hunnie, it seems we're going to have to dine in on Saturday okay? That way Tyler gets to spend time with you, I get to spend time with Tyler and Bella gets some much needed time off. I'm afraid we've been very selfish; spending so much time together meant that Bella had to pull double duty with Ty."

"I am so sorry Bella. I honestly didn't realize what my wanting to spend so much time with Rose would mean for anybody else. Please forgive me."

"I don't hold any of you accountable; I blame love. It makes people do crazy things or so I've heard."

Edward perks up at that and asks "have you never been in love Bella?"

"I've been in like lots of times but never fortunate to have been in loved."

"How unfortunate."

I blush. I really need to learn how to control that because Rose gives me this smug knowing look and all I want to do is melt or run away, whichever's easier. To make matters worse Edward is staring at me rather intensely but I can't figure out what that look means. My mind tells me that he is just trying to figure me out; a new puzzle to conquer; that would be the logical explanation; but my irrational side makes me hope that it means more than just mere curiosity, maybe even faint interest.

I brush that irrational hope aside, there is no room for irrational behaviour in this world. Absolutely no room.

"I should probably get going, I've imposed myself on you all for long enough. Em are you ready?"

"Yea, in a minute."

"Bella why don't you show Edward around. He may be spending a lot of time here." _Huh? What does she mean by that?_

"Sure. Would you like that Edward?" I look at him through my eyelashes so that I don't have to face his rejection full on but, surprisingly enough, he accepts.

I take him through the main living area so that he'll know where everything is. We pass by Rose's bedroom but don't go in, that room is off limits to anyone but Rose and Emmett. Not even Tyler is allowed in there. I take him into Tyler's nursery and he takes a brief glance and walks out.

"I want to see your room."

"Um…I'm not sure how visitor friendly it is. I haven't really had a chance to clean it so it's up to you if you want to be subjected to all that."

"That's okay. I still want to see it."

"Fine, but you can't say I didn't warn you." I show him into my bedroom and he walks directly to my bed and sits on it as though he's always in here. He looks so good on my bed. Seeing him there only causes the dream of the night before to come to the forefront of my mind.

"Your bed is very comfortable Bella. Won't you join me?"

Without hesitation I walk over to my bed trying not to look like an over eager child, but I'll be damned if I wasn't excited by the prospect of being on the same bed as him, on my bed no less.

"It has to be. My days go on forever so my bed has to be able to help me wind down at the end of it."

"That makes sense. Can I ask you something Bella?"

"You just did. Sure anything." _Okay so I know it's probably not a good idea allowing him to ask me anything considering I hardly know him. But what the hell ever._

"Anything? That's so tempting, but I'll just stick to the original question I planned to ask. What made you decide to become a nanny if what you really want to do is teach?"

"Well, I needed a job. My scholarship doesn't cover room and board. The apartment Charlie put me up in was paid only for three months more so I was desperate-"

"Charlie?"

"My dad. Anyway as I was saying-"

"You call your dad by his first name?"

"Not to his face. Do you want to hear the story or not?"

"Sorry. Please go on."

"Yea so I needed a job and I saw this ad in the paper saying that a live-in-nanny was required. I called because quite frankly my other options were not very appealing. I mean who the hell can survive as a waitress through the whole of college? I know that there are people who do it, but I just can't. Not for three years. Anyway I called Rose and we met and we hit it off since then."

"So you became a nanny because it was the best of limited options?"

"Basically yes. Besides I figured that watching hours of 'The Nanny' qualified me as an expert on the subject. Plus it was something to do you know?"

"So you've never had any experience with children?"

"No. I'm an only child and Renee and Phil, my mom and stepdad, never saw the need to have more. Charlie never got over Renee so the possibility of him having another child is slim to none. I've no little cousins either so, it was just me. Luckily Tyler is no trouble at all so my work isn't so hard and my lack of experience is not a problem. Rose knows in case you're wondering."

"I take it you like kids then. I mean you want to become a teacher and you're a nanny so you obviously have a special place in your heart for them."

"Yes. I think it has something to do with not having anyone to grow up with and not having some sort of parental guidance either. Um do you want to see the garden?" I really don't feel like dredging up all those repressed emotions.

"Maybe next time. I feel too relaxed to get off the bed but I will drop the subject which I think is what you were trying to do. Am I right?"

"Thank you. It's too early in the day for tears. So what is it you need to do at Rose's company, or is it confidential?"

"My hospital is heading a charity and we need Hale Enterprises to help us with setting it up and specifically Rosalie with promoting it. I'll be the face of the charity which is why I'm the one dealing with her directly."

"What kind of charity?"

Just as he is about to answer Emmett pounds on my door.

"Yo bro. I thought you were ready to go? You better not be doing anything inappropriate to Bella in there!"

Edward smirks.

"He seems to think I am some sort of womanizer. Why he would think that is beyond me. It seems I have to get going. I hope I get to see you again Bella, and soon."

"There's a strong possibility."

"If you two don't come out right now I'm coming in. And I know you're in there because I can hear you."

"We're coming Emmett. No need to get hostile." I yell through the door. "I'm really fond of my door!"

We all walk to the front door, Rose and Emmett holding hands, Edward walking beside me and me holding Tyler.

"It was nice meeting you Edward. Say bye-bye Tyler!" Adorably Tyler stretches for Edward and fusses when he realizes that Edward is leaving.

"Same here Bella."

They leave and Rose pounces.

"Spill."

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**PLEASE REVIEW! Let me know where I've gone wrong, what you want more of, or what you want less of. And most importantly, keep reading!**

**Lunarskky ;D**


	3. It's a small world after all

"Spill what Rose? There's nothing to spill" I quickly respond. I know she would see right through that line but I was not in the mood to analyze Edward and my conversation just yet. _Maybe if I don't look directly at her I can hold her off for a bit…_

"There has to be something Bella. When he left here I saw a look on his face that I only ever see on the face of a man that is totally enamored. So what did you two do when you left us that has him so hooked on you already?" _I guess not, damn._

"Really Rose. What do you think we did? I mean we weren't alone all that long. You told me to show him around so I did. Then we sat in my room and just talked. That's it. No more no less, I swear." _I really hope that's enough to tide her over._ Rose being Rose however, did not let it rest there.

"You took him into your bedroom? I've only ever been in there three times Isabella. You like him don't you?" _Shit._

"I only just met him so how can I honestly answer that question, besides he insisted that he see my bedroom so I showed him in."

I hear the phone ring and I thank my lucky stars for the distraction. I bolt out of the room and away from Rosalie's prying. Unfortunately the phone call is for me so I have to go right back outside to take the cordless phone and carry it into my room.

"Isabella Marie Swan, you have not attempted to contact me in three weeks! You better have a damn good explanation" I hear a very high pitched voice say and I know immediately that it's Alice.

"Ali! Oh my goodness, it's so good to hear from you!" _Not to mention the fact that you just saved me from an extremely uncomfortable conversation._

"I'm sure."

"Oh come on, don't be mad at me! It's just been a bit hectic for me. I promise I did not purposefully neglect you. I swear."

I hear her snort over the phone. It seems she isn't fully appeased so I grovel some more.

"What'll it take to convince you that I have been dying without hearing your beautiful voice in my ear for the past three weeks? Whatever it takes I'll do it. But just remember that I love you okay Ali."

Her soprano laugh rings through the phone. _Oh oh, what does that mean for me? She's going to make me do something absolutely embarrassing and outside of my comfort zone, I'm sure of it._

"For now, you don't have to do anything…I still have to think up a punishment for you. Until then fill me in, what have I missed? How's baby Ty-Ty?"

I sigh in relief, but I still have a bit of trepidation knowing that I'll have to pay, and soon.

"Firstly school has been a bitch! I cannot wait for it to be over. The classes are long and demanding and the lecturers are intense, ugh. It's almost exam time too so there's that added stress. As for Tyler, he's getting to be a big boy. His birthday's coming up but Rose is still unsure what she wants to do for it though."

I pause before I deliver the next piece of information knowing what questions it'll lead to.

"He met two new people today. He completely opened up to them without a moment's hesitation too."

"Two new people? She finally introduced him to her new man?"

"Yup. Ali you have to see this guy! He's built like a body builder with to die for dimples and he's damn cute too. The best part is that he seems to be as a big a kid as Tyler so they got along fine."

"Ooh, sounds delicious. Too bad he's taken huh? So who was the other person that he met? It has to be somebody important if she let her son meet them. I mean look how long she took before she introduced him to her boyfriend."

"Um…no one really, just Rosalie's boyfriend's brother."

"Bella… I know what you're trying to do. He's cute isn't he and you like him don't you?" _How could she know that from just that one sentence? Damn I must be more transparent than I thought._

I sigh and decide I might as well tell her because she, unlike Rose, has very effective ways of getting info out of me and I really am not in the mood to deal with any of them.

"He's absolutely gorgeous Ali, and way out of my league."

"What have I told you time and again Isabella?"_ Oh oh. She used my full name. We only ever do that when we are extremely pissed at each other or struggling with some other strong emotion lying just underneath the surface. I have to fix this._

"Um…that no one is out of my league…especially if I have set my sights on them. But honestly-"

"No! Don't you dare say that! I don't care if he puts Adonis himself to shame you are good enough for him, do you hear me?"

"But that's the thing Alice; I honestly think he might be Adonis reincarnated. When I first saw him I swear to God I fainted Ali! I have never fainted before at the sight of anyone, ever!"

"You fainted? Damn! Well I was going to save this piece of information for last but I think I should tell you now…I am currently seated at an airport waiting for a connecting flight to La Guardia…"

_Wait, that's in-_

"You're coming here? Oh My God Alice! When does your flight come in? Do you need me to come pick you up? I can't believe it! I'm sooo excited!"

"Breathe Bella. Jeez. I mean I know I can get pretty hyper but wow. Okay so to answer the one question you haven't asked yet I'm coming in for a week for a class trip so I'm good on transportation and all that. But I have some free time in between so I have got to see you. We clearly need to have a talk. Do you think you can get off for an hour maybe around nine or so? Or maybe I could come over straight from the airport?"

"Um…I can always ask Rose. What time does your flight come in, just in case she decides that's the better idea?"

"In about an hour or so… Oh wait I hear my flight being called. I'll call you back once I touch down. Bye Bells."

"Bye-bye Ali." I hang up the phone and rush to tell Rose the news.

"So, who was on the phone? It wasn't male so I know it wasn't _loverboy_." I blush of course giving her more ammunition than she needed. _Damn. Whatever, that's secondary now, my best friend was coming to town! Woo hoo! _She's the only part of my old life that I've really remained in contact with and these three weeks have been harder than any I've had to deal with.

"Do you remember me telling you about my best friend Alice?"She nods her head in confirmation so I continue, "well that was her. She's flying in tonight and she was wondering if maybe I can get off for an hour tonight to meet up with her. Or if you're not comfortable with that she could possibly come over here when she lands?" I know I'm rambling but I really want this. I missed Alice so much; this is the longest we have ever been apart since we met, plus I'm beginning to realize that I needed to talk to Alice about everything that was going through my head. From the dream to Edward's materialization at Rose's front door, it is just all too much for me to process on my own.

"Sure Bella, no problem. Go out, you deserve some time to yourself, which does not include school work. Have fun okay. Maybe I'll invite Em over and make it a night…"

"Thanks a lot Rose. I would invite you along but something tells me Alice wants some one on one time first. Maybe she'll come back with me and you can get to meet her."

I head to my room to decide what I'm going to wear. I have no idea where we're going to go but I want to be prepared for any and all possibilities.

The phone rings again and I realize I never returned it to its charger. I answer it and hear possibly the most heavenly sound in the world. Edward's voice. It takes all of my self control to not scream in my excitement.

"Hello beautiful." I think that is becoming my favorite phrase ever, or maybe it's just the way he says it? Either way.

"Edward. I wasn't expecting to hear from you, and certainly not so soon."

"What, did you think I was just joking when I said I wanted to see you again? In order for that to happen I needed to call you and make the necessary arrangements."

"That's true. So what did you have in mind?"

"Well I was wondering if I could swing by and take you out to dinner? I'm sure I could get Rosalie to agree or maybe distract her with my brother" he chuckles.

"Well not that I'm not absolutely interested in joining you I have plans already. I'm sorry."

"You have plans? How disappointing." And he really sounds disappointed too. _This is surreal._

"Yes. My best friend is coming in to New York today and she wants to meet up with me. I don't know what we're doing yet… and why I am telling you this is beyond me…" Thank God he can't see the mortification on my face, that'll only lead me to blush even harder.

"Oh. Well in that case I can't begrudge her your company. Have fun. And by the way, I like that you felt the need to share that tidbit with me. Too bad you don't know where you're going though; I might have accidently on purpose dropped by."

"Too bad indeed. Hey I think the other line is ringing. Can you hold on for a second?"

"Hello? " I hear the booming voice of none other than Emmett. _Strange. I would have thought that Edward and him would be together. No matter._

"Hi Emmett, can you hold on for just one second?"

"Sure no problem Bells." I smile at the fact that he picked up the nickname too.

"Hi Edward? It's your brother on the phone so you know what that means." I hear him groan and I know _exactly_ how he feels.

"So I guess that means I have to go right? But maybe we can exchange numbers and I can call you on your cell phone?"

"I would love that." We quickly exchange numbers and say our goodbyes and I rush to Rose to give her the phone.

"Rose, Emmett's on the phone for you."

She looks at me quizzically but takes the phone anyway. I return to my room and continue my search for the perfect outfit although slightly less excited now because I know that I could have been spending that time with Edward instead of Alice.

Once I was decided I head to Tyler's nursery and peek in but he's sound asleep, thoroughly exhausted from his long day.

Just as I return to my room to find something to occupy my time I hear my phone and my stomach does a million flips, in hope that it's Edward, and it is.

"Hello beautiful."

"You really are going to have to stop that or it's going to go to my head one of these days" I tease.

"I'm not saying anything that isn't true Bella. Even your parents thought so when they chose your name."

"Yea, sure." _As if he could really think I'm beautiful._

"So what am I supposed to do now that I no longer have the option of your company? I'm sure Emmett won't be available either."

"You're probably right about that. I honestly don't know what to tell you. Go out, have fun" _but not too much. _I don't know where this weird possessiveness that I feel towards Edward comes from but I'm not about to fight it.

"There's nothing I can do in New York that would be any fun without you, Bella."

"You always know what to say don't you Edward. Fine. If you were back home- wait I don't even know where you're from." It is the first time I realize that, with all that we've spoken about, I hardly know anything about him.

"Oh that's right. Well Emmett and I are officially from Chicago. But my parents and I recently relocated to Washington."

"Really? Washington? Well I'm from Forks, Washington actually. Though I did a brief stint in Pheonix with my mom. But I don't feel like going into that dark memory right now… So what I was going to ask was what would you be doing right now if you were back in Washington?"

"Forks huh. Never been but I suddenly feel the urge to go there sometime. Normally I would just go out to dinner or a movie every now and then but my schedule rarely allows for even that. It's embarrassing really how little of a social life I have."

"Yea, the life of a doctor probably is pretty hectic huh?"

"Well, see the thing is, I'm not exactly a doctor yet. I still have a few more years before I can officially claim that title."

"You're not a doctor? Hmmm…so then should I be worried about my fall from earlier?" I feel fine so I know he is capable enough so I tease him a little.

"Well I'm not completely incompetent. I may still need to have a resident present if I need to diagnose a patient but that doesn't mean that I can't do it myself. It's just hospital protocol"

"Fair enough. So wait they send an intern to be the face of a major hospital project? How does that work?"

"I'm not happy about this fact but my dad has a lot of pull in the hospital so I was the only candidate considered. I was so pissed that his position gives me advantages that I haven't earned. That's why Emmett moved out here, to get away from dad's sphere of power."

"Wow, that sucks. To never know if you got something because of your own merit or because of who your dad is."

"Exactly."

We banter easily back and forth for a little over an hour. He tells me that he's staying at a hotel just in case Emmett decides to bring Rose home with him anytime. _No one wants to be witness to their extra-curricular activities. Ugh. _When the conversation got to heavy we would slip into some silly topic and laugh non-stop. It was, by far, the best conversation I've ever had.

At a quarter past seven my cell phone beeps and I notice a text message from Alice. I tell Edward to hold on while I read what it says and type up a quick response.

I've landed. What's the plan?- A

We're going out. Um but it's up to your energy level on what we're going to be doing- B

Well I'm starved so that'll be too long to wait for dinner. Maybe we can go to a club?- A

Sure, as long as you're up to it. But then how will we talk? How about I meet you for dinner and we go to the club after?- B

Perfect- A

And then it hits me. Edward said he would drop by if he knows where we were going. I wouldn't mind spending some time with him tonight, and if he comes along then Ali will get to meet him. That'll be killing two birds with one stone. It has nothing to do with me being unreasonably attached to him already...

Hey Ali?- B

Yea Bella?- A

Do you mind if I invite someone to the club with us?- B

Ooh…is it the famous Edward?- A

Maybe? Look I gotta run. I'll see you soon okay?- B

Uh huh. Bye Bells- A

"Sorry about that Edward… Shoot. I forgot to find out what restaurant I was meeting her at. Hold on again, I'm really really sorry."

Um Ali? Where'd you want to eat?- B

You're the New Yorker now, you tell me- A

Fine. How about you come over here to eat because I'm in no mood to navigate New York traffic twice in a row, plus it's a little more private. Just hop a cab- B

Cool- A

"Okay I swear no more distractions, not until she gets here at least."

"She's coming over?"

"Yeah, instead of doing the whole restaurant scene I'll cook her something and then we'll head out to a club…"

"Am I invited along? Or are you just telling me that so I can hazard a guess and hope to turn up at the right club?"

"If you had given me just a minute more I would have invited you along eager beaver. Would you want to meet us at the club or at the house?" I hold my breath waiting for his response. He said he would've come but he could have just been saying that. There's always the chance that he could decline. If he does I'll be crushed.

"The house, although we'll probably have a lot to explain to Rosalie and Em later." I let out a sigh of relief that he is going along with the idea but then the last part of his sentence sinks in. _Damn, I so did not think about that part._

"That's true. So can you come over at say nine? By that time we should be finished with dinner and everything else."

"Sure. Shit. Um Bella, I have to go, my other line is ringing. It's my mom. I'll see you soon okay?"

"Oh, okay. Bye. See you soon."

Just as I hung up the phone, before I even have a chance to feel disappointed, I hear Alice's car pull up. _Damn that was fast._

I invite her in and introduce her to Rose, who was still on the phone with Emmett.

I cook her a simple pasta dish since it was the quickest thing to make. She eats it up hungrily while I just pick at mine. She knows something is on my mind so she finishes up quickly and looks at me expectantly.

I carry her to my room because I don't want to run the risk of Rose overhearing us, and as soon as I close the door I tell her everything.

When I'm finished she sits there and just stares at me open-mouthed. Finally she closes her mouth and puckers her brow so I know she's in deep thought. My nerves are on edge because her opinion really matters to me and I need her to help me sort through this.

"Bella. Wow. You dreamt him and then poof he appears? You can't tell me that that's not destiny. I mean if you two aren't meant to be I don't know who is. I'm really glad he's coming to the club with us so I can see who this man is that has caught your heart."

"You really think we're meant to be Alice? I mean you don't think it's just some kinda freaky coincidence?"

"Bella be real, when have you ever believed in things like coincidences? It is fate and you know it. I wish I can find something like that. I really do." She sighs wistfully.

We sit and talk some more then I notice the time. I rush into the bathroom and shower and dress for the night.

As the time gets closer for his arrival I feel my palms get sweaty, my heart beats out a rhythm that would cause anyone to think I was having a heart attack, and my stomach is so uneasy I feel like I might throw up. Ugh. No one has ever had this effect on me before.

We head to the living room because I feel like a caged bird in my bedroom and it has too many memories of Edward in them to help calm me. Rose takes one look at me and laughs before saying "you're going out with Edward aren't you? Well I'll be! You move fast girl, I didn't even know you had it in you."

"Neither did I," Alice answers. Great now they were joining forces. I have _no_ hope now.

I don't hear the car but when there is a knock on the door I nearly jump out of my skin I'm so nervous.

"Easy there Bells. Rosalie I think you should answer the door before Bella gets a conniption."

He saunters in the house as though he's here all the time. You have to admire his self-assurance. If I were to try that I'm sure I'd face plant or something.

"Hello beautiful" _Five. Four. Three. Two. There it is. Stupid blush!_

"Hi." There goes my vocabulary skills too. _Ugh. __What the hell is he doing to me? Not that I'm complaining…_

A throat clears somewhere behind me and I remember Alice. _Oops!_

"Edward this is Alice, Alice meet Edward." I turn just in time to see Alice with her mouth hanging open and her eyes opened wide. I nudge her discreetly and she finally wakes up from ogling him. He chuckles softly.

"Hi, it's nice to meet you Edward. I've heard a lot about you."

"Mary Alice!" I am beyond mortified that she would say that and my face heats up. She looks at me apologetically. She knows she's in trouble. _Good!_

"Likewise." He offers her his hand and she takes it limply. He only holds it for a brief second before he reaches for mine and we leave for the club.

While sitting in the cab I turn to them and say "okay so you have a choice between 'Fat Black Pussycat' and 'The Village Underground'. The first is deejayed and the latter has live music."

"Fat Black Pussycat? That's really the name of a club? How interesting." He looks at me in a way I've never seen before but I like it, I find it sexy. I need to find a way to get that look on his face more often.

"Um…I don't know about you two but I do not want to hear live music. I need dim lights and loud music with the strongest base you can find."

"I agree Ali. I'm in the mood for some strong alcohol and good music. With live music you're always taking a chance that the artists won't suck you know and I don't feel like dealing with that tonight."

Edward decides that he's up for whatever we want to do. So we tell the cab driver the address and we drive off.

We pull up to the front of Fat Black Pussycat and the line is unbelievably short so we take no time at all to get in. Edward heads to the bar to get us some shots and Alice and I find a seat towards the back. The music is great and upbeat and the dance floor is packed. I can't wait to get out there. Normally I hate social settings but the darkness helps to bolster my ego so that I can have enough courage to just let go and have fun.

Edward comes back with a 'slippery nipple' for me, a 'jager bomb' for Alice and he has a 'liquid cocaine' for himself. We throw back our shots simultaneously and I immediately feel the burn of the alcohol. Somehow it is soothing and keeps me grounded.

"Come on Ali let's hit the floor!" she looks at me like I have three heads. I know what she's thinking: 'what the hell is going on with Bella?' _What the hell ever! I want to dance._

I pull her to the dance floor with me, only to realize the song that's playing is really seductive. _Hmmm, maybe she was questioning my choice. Too late now._

I tune out everyone in the club and me and Ali dance with each other like we would if we were alone, that is to say that we draw a lot of male attention our way. I look over to our table and notice Edward looks pissed as hell. _Well that's not the reaction I was expecting._ _Am I doing it wrong? But these other guys seem to like it. What the hell? _He sees me looking at him and he gets up and glides over and he pulls me into his arms and whispers in my ear.

"I'm a very possessive man Isabella." _Oh._ So that's why he looked so pissed. He wasn't pissed at me but at the attention I was drawing. _Interesting._

"My bad. I wasn't really thinking about it, I just wanted to have some fun you know? Besides I don't think you have anything to worry about where I'm concerned. I'm not much of a main attraction." I shrug nonchalantly.

"Please Bella. Have you seen how you look in this dress? I'm shocked no one has approached you yet."

"Well from the death glare you had directed at them I would have been more shocked if they had."

"Well I'm not about to apologize for how I feel Bella."

"And I'm not asking you too. It's actually kinda nice that you feel possessive over _me_." I feel special that someone as gorgeous and eligible as Edward could possibly feel strong enough about someone like me to be jealous of any man who might be desperate enough to look my way. It also makes me feel better about my sudden bout of possessiveness that I had felt towards him earlier today.

I admit I look pretty okay when I put in the effort, but my plain brown hair and brown eyes don't exactly make me anything but average. I don't even have height on my side. Without heels I'm a mere 5'4" and since my coordination rarely allows me to wear those death traps anyway I'm hardly ever taller than that. It's sad really but whatever, it's never stop me before. _Okay maybe it has once or twice, but not this time._

He pulls me even closer at that and it's all I can do to stop myself from fainting at just that little bit of contact. I can feel his perfectly sculpted abs through his t-shirt and I immediately remember my dream, which does not help me regain my perspective at all.

My feet begin to hurt, mainly because I changed my ballet flats to Alice approved heels before we left the house. Her skills of persuasion are scary because nothing and no one could get me to wear them other than her. I'm beginning to resent that fact because honestly I am not sure if it's worth the self torture.

I tug Edward with me to sit. Alice is otherwise preoccupied with some devastatingly handsome blond that she just met. I smile because I know the poor man has no idea what is about to hit him because Alice has an almost single minded determination when she sees something she wants, and from the looks of it, she wants him. I don't know where it comes from but it has never failed her before so I am positive that he would be hooked by morning fall. _Poor guy._

Edward notices the direction of my focus and chuckles slightly.

"He seems very interested in Alice right now. I hope he knows what he's doing."

"I hope so too because she is going to get him. I can see it in her eyes that she wants him and for more than just one night. She does not do one night stands!"

"Do you?"

"Are you crazy? Do I look like the one night stand type?" More like 'do I look like the sexually active type' but I do not feel the need to fill him in on the fact that I am still a virgin_. I know, I'm a rare breed. Whatever. I have some values okay. Although, if Edward offers to change that fact, I will definitely gladly join the rest of the world on that front. Who wouldn't? I mean hello!_

"It's a valid question though I should have known the answer. You don't seem the type to participate in something meaningless. Not unlike a lot of girls out there. I'm not judging however, I've known a lot of those girls in my lifetime."

Well now that makes me wonder. Does he have one night stands? Does he think that's where this is going to lead? Because much as I'd gladly sleep with Edward I am not the hit it and quit it type and I don't think that that would be enough for me where he is concerned.

He senses my unease and immediately clarifies.

"I'm not a fan of one night stands either. I have had one or two but I've felt so low the morning after. I was young, and stupid. Not to mention wealthy." As he says it he sounds so cynical, as though he lost all hope in humanity in that one moment.

"So you caved."

"Yea, I did."

"I honestly can't blame the girls though. You are extremely gorgeous." I blush as I say it though. I had meant for it to be passed off as a snide remark but with my blush just lets Edward know that there is some level of truth behind my words. Damn it!

"I love your blush. Have I ever told you that?"

"No you haven't" I say and blush even harder.

Alice drags the blond boy over to us with a beaming smile plastered on her face. _Definitely a keeper then._

"Bella, Edward, meet Jasper. Jasper, this is my best friend Bella and this is her friend Edward." That friend sounds loaded to me but I leave it alone. This is not the time or place to decipher Alice-speak.

"Nice to meet you Jasper" we both say at the same time. I look at Edward and blush at that.

"Pull up a chair Jasper, get comfy because you might be here all night." He laughs at my statement but pulls a chair from a table off to the side. I observe his and Ali's interactions for a full five minutes and it warms my heart how comfortable they are together, almost as if they have known each other forever rather than just a couple minutes.

We order another round of drinks. I had a 'Long Island Ice Tea', Alice had a martini and the boys had a couple beers.

We sit and talk well into the night only stopping occasionally to hit the dance floor when a particularly good song came on. None of us want to leave but Alice had a long day ahead of her, Edward had an early morning meeting with Rosalie and Jas, as we were told to call him, had to work. My schedule always requires early mornings so I was thankful that this time I wasn't the one to cause a gathering to break up.

We catch a cab and Alice is ecstatic at the fact that Jas stays so close to where she is. I wave Jas, Edward and Ali, after she picked up her luggage from Rose's, promising to call her tomorrow. Edward insisted that he walk me to my door. He kissed me on my cheek and watched as I opened the door before he returned to the cab. I was very sure that sleep was going to be a difficult feat to achieve.

I check on Tyler but notice he's not in his crib._ Hmmm._ I decide to check on Rose to see if maybe he was in there with her. I really was not relishing in the idea of possibly disturbing Rose's sleep, or worse little Tyler. It is 1:30 in the morning.

I knock softly and here movement behind the door. It opens slightly and Rose's blond head pokes out. _I guess I wasn't disturbing her after all._

"He's in here with me don't worry. I just got him to sleep. He had a bit of a fever and was fussy all night. That tooth that's bursting through is causing a lot of problems.

"Poor baby."

"I know. I gave him some baby Tylenol to soothe him so he should sleep through the night. Did you have a good night?"

"Yes. It was wonderful. I really needed that. So what did you think of Alice." I know it's late and I should probably let her get some sleep but I am sure I won't see her until much later today so I have to ask.

"She's a little ball of energy isn't she?"

"Yes she is."

"I really like her though. Maybe you should invite her to dinner tonight?"

"Really? Okay I'll call her to see if she's available. But I should give you some forewarning though; she's going to be only interested in one topic of conversation. Jasper Whitlock."

"You're kidding right? Jasper Whitlock? How does she know him?"

"We met him at the club. Why?" Now I was genuinely curious.

"He's my cousin. He works at our family company. He almost never goes to bars claiming he's not into that scene."

He said as much when we were talking to him. But he also said that for some reason he felt like he just needed to be there. It sounds corny but somehow when I looked at him as he said those words I couldn't help but believe him. Alice gave me a knowing smile when he said it and I knew she was struggling not to scream. She was happy, I could tell. Maybe the fates were smiling down upon us after all. I'm the first one to admit it's about bloody time life cuts us a break.

"Well he told us that. Hey have you ever heard his band play? He invited us this Saturday. Although I'm not sure if I'll be able to go."

"Yes I have. They're amazing. He could make a career out of it if he chose in fact. What do you mean you don't think you can go though? Is that you're way of making sure I'm honoring my bargain of your night off?" I know she's only teasing but it still stings a little that she thought I would stoop so low just to ensure a night off.

"No, it's not that. I just have a lot of school stuff to get done. Which is why I asked for the day off in case you forgot?" I laugh.

"Oh right. Bella you really need to have some fun every once in a while. How about this, I take Tyler to work with me tomorrow that way you have no other commitments besides school. His grandparents would love to see him anyway."

"That would be lovely! Thank you so much Rose. You know you don't _have_ to be nice to me."

"Not this again! Bella go to bed. Good night." I smile at the mock irritation in her voice. Maybe she genuinely liked me and doesn't just feel sorry for me after all.

"Good night Rose." I walk to my room and immediately feel the exhaustion of my day catch up to me. I shower quickly though I desperately wanted to soak in the tub but I'll only fall asleep in the water and probably catch a cold with my luck. I feel too tired and lazy to find pajamas so I just sleep in my underwear and dream of Edward again.

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**Please overlook any mistakes I might have. I was in the middle of a million things when I was writing it.**

**Sorry for taking sooo long...plz forgive me? XD**

**Thank u in advance for the reviews (hint hint) lol**

**Love Ya!**


	4. Intensely beautiful, beautifully intense

I AM SOOOOOO SORRY! My laptop charger died and all my stuff was on the laptop and with no charger there was no way to get onto it to upload or type up anything. Any mistakes u see please ignore them. I didn't edit cuz i wanted to upload asap. For ur patience a little longer chapter. I hope u like it. Will update soon I promise but with skl commitments it may be shorter chapters. I hope that's okay.

Plz don't hate me. :-\

Ok so here's what happened in the last chapter in case u forgot. Basically all you need to remember is that Alice surprises Bella by coming to NY. Edward, Bella and Alice went out to a club where they met Jasper. Rosalie asked Bella to invite Alice over for dinner and so here we are. XD

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**A baby is born with a need to be loved- and never outgrows it- Frank Howard Clark**

I wake up to the blaring of my alarm clock. I know Rose said she would take Tyler to the office with her this morning but that doesn't mean that I won't at least help her get him ready for the day.

I dazedly get off my bed and take a quick shower then head to the nursery to change Tyler. Then we go to the kitchen where I feed him his purée and juice. Rose walks in just as I am about to pack Tyler's bag for the day. She had a beautiful glow about her, she always does but today, she radiated happiness.

"Morning Rose. You look really nice." Her blond curls were cascading down her back simply, but it framed her face beautifully. Her piercing blue eyes were highlighted with shimmery eye shadow and her lips were stained a deep red. Her outfit I felt was a little much for work. Her pencil skirt was extremely short and tight but it was her blouse which was over the top. It was blue silk but showing so much cleavage _I_ was embarrassed. She notices my blush and laughs beatifically.

"I know it's a bit much, but Emmett is going to pick Ty and me up for lunch and then he's coming over after work." Her smile overtakes her face as she says that. "You should invite Edward and Jasper too. That way it'll be a group dinner."

"Well I'll have to figure out what to cook. What would you like? Italian? French? Mexican?"

"You don't have to cook you know. I mean today was meant for you to get some schoolwork done…"

"I know, but I love to cook and what better opportunity to do so than this? I can get started on my work now and when it's almost time for dinner I'll start cooking. It's no problem, really."

"If you're sure. Cook whatever you feel like. No pressure."

She sits down at the table with her cheese omelet and glass of milk. I pick up the house phone and dial Ali's number. It's early so she probably hasn't started her day yet, though she would most definitely be wide awake.

"Ali honey!"

"Bells baby! What's up?"

"Just calling to invite you over for dinner tonight. Feeling for anything in particular?"

"Well actually I had plans with Jas…"

"Well he's also invited. Rose's idea. It's going to be a group thing. Emmett, Rose, Edward, you, Jas and myself. So you in?"

"Sure. Should I call Jas and tell him?"

"Yes. How else would he know? I'm not about to call him." I laugh.

"Cool. Well what time should we be there for?"

"Um…six? By then Rose should be home and I should be finished cooking."

"Perfect. See you later darling."

I hang up the phone and quickly dial Edward's number feeling the anticipation of hearing his smooth voice in my ear.

"Good morning beautiful."

"Is that how you always answer the phone? What if it were some telemarketer or stalker or something?"

"Caller ID Bella!" he laughs. _Shoot. I didn't know hotels had those. Wait I called his cell phone…of course he has caller ID._

"Right. Well good morning. Did you have any plans for the evening?"

"None that I know of, why?"

"Well Rose has invited you over for dinner. Will you come?"

I realize that no one has told me what they wanted for dinner but if Edward agrees to come maybe I can try my luck with him.

"Rose huh? So who else will be there because quite frankly I'm not trying to get on Em's bad side."

"Ha ha very funny. It won't be just you and Rose. Jas, Ali, Emmett and myself will also be there, so is that a yes?"

"Of course it is. Any excuse…" but he never finishes his sentence. He tells me to hold on while he answers the door to the room service cart. When he comes back to the phone I can hear the smile in his voice.

"Sorry about that. what time should I come over?"

"Around six. Hey did you want anything specific? I've asked everyone but no one has a preference but if you want something special let me know so I'll know what time I should start cooking."

"You're cooking? For all of us?"

"Yes. I love to cook. It's calming."

"Do you need some help? After my meeting I'm free for the rest of the day so I can come over if you'd like." _Of course I'd like! But cooking is usually something I do alone. Do I really want to share my space with him?_

"Um… you don't have to. But I wouldn't mind the company…"

"Cool. I should be finished with my meetings by three. I'll come back here to freshen up and then I'll come right over."

"Great. I'll see you then. Bye!"

"Bye."

I turn around and Rose has a huge smile on her face. I groan internally knowing that she won't let me live this down.

"So…loverboy's coming over?"

"I don't know who you're talking about." _There. That should shut her up for a bit!_

"Bella! Don't play coy with me! You and I both know who loverboy is. You really like him don't you?"

"He's a really nice guy. I wouldn't mind getting to know him a little better. So what's the deal with you and Emmett anyway? Should I be worried about my job because you two seem pretty serious." She looks at me in strange way but I can tell that she will answer me as honestly as she can.

"Royce hurt me really badly Bella. I really like Emmett, I do, but I just can't seem to take the next step. He wants us to move in together but I just can't." I know what she means. I can tell she wants to open her heart to Emmett but the damage her ex-husband has done has caused her to put a permanent block around herself. I can see her desperate need to let go.

"I see. I know exactly what you mean but I don't think you need to worry where Emmett is concerned though. He seems genuine."

"So did Royce" she says quietly.

I don't know what to say to that. I watch as she finishes her breakfast and washes her dishes.

"Have a great day Bella. I know I will. Come on Ty-Ty, time to go see Gamma and Gampa."

I wave them off and head back into the house to begin my day.

X-X-x-X-X

I'm finally finished. The sad thing is though I still have one more paper to write but that's not due for another week so I can relax a little. But only a little.

I look at my watch and notice it's almost time for Edward to arrive so I take out the ingredients for tonight's dinner. I plan to make a fairly simple meal.

Cream of Vegetable Soup

Steamed Fish

Triple Cheese and Macaroni

Stuffed Melongene (Eggplant)

Tossed Salad

Chocolate & Vanilla Mousse/ Vanilla Ice Cream

I know it'll take a while to complete but the final effect will not only be visually beautiful but it should taste pretty amazing too.

As the fish fillets are defrosting I hear a car pull up in the driveway and I rush, as quickly as my clumsiness would allow, to answer the door.

Opening the door and seeing his crooked smile, my heart just about stops. He was dressed in a green dress shirt with the top buttons open and a dark pair of jeans. The green of the shirt drew my eyes to his and I feel a tug in my stomach at the intensity of his stare.

"Hello beautiful."

"Hi. Come on in." I move aside and as he walks through the door our hands brush against each other. A strange jolt of electricity shoots up my arm at the contact. We look at each other, neither of us having an explanation.

I take his jacket and hang it in the coat room and escort him to the kitchen.

"So what's the menu look like?" he asks me as he rolls up his sleeves and reveals his well defined arms to me. As my mind begins to wonder I remember how very alone we are. My blush creeps up my body and I pray that Edward doesn't notice, but of course I don't have that kind of luck.

"What are you thinking about? I only asked what's cooking but here you are blushing like nobody's business." My blush only intensifies to a beyond mortifying level.

"Absolutely nothing. Maybe you can get started on the marinade for the fish if you have nothing better to do than stand there and watch me."

He mumbles something which I think sounds like _'there's nothing better than that'_ but I've also been known for my vivid imagination so I let it slide.

We start our tasks in companionable silence and I occasionally sneak peeks at Edward. He looks so at ease in the kitchen, almost like it is his refuge, much like it is mine.

"So Bella, what's New York like? I've only ever been her once before and it was business then also. What do you do for fun?"

"Fun? What's that? I swear this is the most time I've had to myself in ages. I came here from high school and haven't stopped since."

"So no sightseeing? No clubbing? Nothing?" he frowns as he asks.

"Not really no. I've been to all the typical child friendly zones but no adult entertainment for me. Shameful I know."

"Unacceptable."

"You're one to talk. But I agree with you though there's not much I can do about that. until now the only person I really knew was Rose. I tend to keep to myself at school, you know?"

"I find that hard to believe. You have such an inviting spirit, how are you not constantly pestered with social invitations?"

"I've had a few. I've just not felt that neither the 'inviter' was worth the trouble or the time, nor was the event."

"And yet you went out last night…"

"Like I said the others weren't worth it."

He turned to look at me and smiles at my words.

"So what was it like growing up as an only child in Forks Bella?"

Great. The absolute last topic I want to talk about right now.

"Um…it was certainly memorable. But I didn't stay there long. When my parents divorced I moved to Pheonix, that was when it all became interesting. My mom and I did everything together. I felt loved, cared for, wanted. But then she got remarried…"

"And you don't like the guy." He states it rather than asks as though the reason was clear.

"He's not bad but he just wasn't interested in a teenage daughter at that point in his life I mean he wasn't a teenager very long ago himself. My mom was so in love that I took a backseat to her marriage, to Phil. Whenever I had anything at school Phil would conveniently need her. I think he just wanted time and space to be a newly married couple, you know? When he mentioned adopting me it may have just been a plot to suck up to mom. He's never abused me in anyway though."

"Yea but he caused your mother to neglect you. How is that any better?"

"It's not."

"So you hightailed it out of there straight out of high school?"

"Actually no. Phil wanted to move and it was an exclusive invitation. So when we left for the airport I went to Forks."

"So they just left? No looking back? Your mother allowed her underage daughter to live with her father so that she can go live freely with her new family?"

"Pretty much. Out with the old as the saying goes... I haven't spoken to her since. For all I know their plane crashed upon landing and they died a painful death. I mean realistically I know that didn't happen but I didn't get so much as a phone call saying 'we arrived' or anything. Charlie tried convincing me that they'll call when they're settled in…I guess they're still not settled in yet huh?"

"I guess not…so what's your father like then?" I can see that although he genuinely wants to know he doesn't like the fact that dredging up these memories could be painful for me. And they are. I suppress the tears as best I could but I know eventually I'll break and who knows when it'll stop.

"Charlie's…we have an okay relationship. While I was living in Pheonix, before Phil, my mom would let me go visit for two weeks at a time. Neither I nor my father speaks very much, save now of course, so it would be a quiet two weeks. He would take me down to the reservation to hang out with his friend Billy and his kids while they went fishing. I would keep to myself mostly but I don't mind, not really. Every Sunday he would watch whatever game was on. We would eat at the local diner every night until he began trusting me enough behind the stove to cook for us. Life was easy. Then Phil came and my visits were stopped. I never saw or spoke to him again until the day Phil called him up and told him I was coming. That's when I met Ali and because of her active social life I hardly spent time with Charlie. I haven't spoken to him since I took this job. Our relationship became a little strained. He thought when I told him I got a job it was something a little more conventional…"

He runs his hands through his hair causing it to become deliciously disheveled.

"So he's not happy even though you are?"

"Exactly. So I'm pretty much a moon orbiting around space without a home planet to connect with. What's your mom like?" I change the topic because I'm beginning to become a bit disgruntled at how easily discarded I was by my parents. I'm in no mood to go down that road and I've only just begun to come to terms with the fact that I'm unloved and unwanted by my parents. No need to dwell.

* * *

RPOV

**In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on- Robert Frost**

Work was dragging along purposely just because I was looking forward to seeing my teddy bear. When it was time for lunch however my heart leapt up into my throat as u walked towards my dad's office to collect Tyler.

As I leave with Tyler I notice his curls before I see his face. He turns as I approach and the smile on his face makes his dimples prominent and I can't help but feel like a little school girl who has just seen her crush looking her way. I grin at him and Tyler struggles in my arms, reaching for Emmett as he was never able to do for Royce.

"Hello gorgeous" his booming voice greets me.

"Why hello handsome. Let me just grab my purse and let my receptionist know I'm leaving then we'll be on our way." I return. I hand Tyler over to him and quickly run into my office. On my way out I turn to Angela, my receptionist.

"I'll be back in about an hour. You can go for lunch when I come back…unless you're too hungry?" I really don't want her to thing I'm encroaching on her lunch time. Usually I would order in and she would be the one off to lunch at this hour.

"I'll wait. It's no problem really. Besides Ben has to work all day today so I don't really have any plans." _Ben? Oh right her fiancé. She told me about him before. He sounds like a nice guy; he makes her happy. I hope they last._

Thinking about Angela's upcoming nuptials causes unwanted memories to come flooding back to me.

≈**FLASHBACK≈**

I met Royce King when I was only seventeen years old. His family was friends with my parents and as such interaction was inevitable except for the fact that he was at boarding school for all of his childhood. So our paths did not cross until his eighteenth year of life.

When I first saw him at the annual Christmas dinner party that my mom threw I was breathless. His blond hair was cut in the style of that time and he was wearing an expensively tailored suit. As if sensing me looking at him he had looked up at the exact most embarrassing moment, that is, just as I was drooling over his body which was evident through his clothes.

His piercing and cold grey eyes connected with my blue ones and I was held transfixed in his stare. He smiled a brilliant white toothed smile at me and made his way over. I was still immobile.

"Hey" was the immortal first words he said to me, carving its way into my heart.

My response was of course much less dignified and was in fact no more than a jumble of sounds. My confidence and self assurance had flown out the door and remained there for all of my relationship with Royce. He had some sort of control over me that, to this day, I can't understand.

We had a whirlwind romance; seeing each other every day and every night. He would sneak into my bedroom and spend the night.

He had been my first. I was hooked with no hope of escape.

Then we had a scare. I had been late before but never by more than a couple days. This time it never came. I was afraid to tell him; afraid he would leave me, but I was also afraid to face this on my own.

I still remember how the color drained from his face when I told him I was late. He concluded that we needed to check and if I were indeed pregnant we would have to decide how to proceed. He went into the drugstore and got three tests, to be absolutely sure he said, and all three were negative. It was then that I had decided that he was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. He was calm under the pressure and not quick to make a decision. And most of all he had wanted the final decision to be one that we could both live with which showed that he cared for my feelings and opinion as well as his own.

We were married by twenty and we were happy for quite a while. College was the most intense part of our relationship; we were still in the honeymoon phase so we would go off to class and hurry home to bask in the other's love. It kept us in love.

Once college was over however and real life began was when the rose pink shades were removed from our eyes. We began to notice the little details that our 'love' had blinded us to before. I began to notice how he would avoid my eyes when he came home from his business trips. How he would smell of women's perfume when he had business dinners or the smudges of lipstick when he worked late.

He began to notice the stares of other men directed at me when we went out. Not that they weren't staring before but he started to become aware of others, no longer focusing all his attention on me. He became aware also of the fact that I was falling in love with my job which meant longer hours and he did not like that. Looking back now I realize that may have been his guilty conscience at work making him think that I was cheating just as he was.

That was when the fights started. Our fights were not the fights of two people in love trying to work through a problem in order to save a marriage. No, our fights were that of two passionate people trying to justify themselves; to prove that they were right, superior, more hurt by the other's actions. Slowly _we_ began deteriorating becoming _him_ and _me_; two separate entities sharing one too small space.

As bad as the low points were though we had even better highs. Through it all we still loved each other. After every fight we would make up and everything would be fine for months on end, as though reverted to our honeymoon period.

We were going through a rough patch, not as bad as usual but still bad when Tyler decided it was time he made himself known. I had a terrible first trimester which I kept to myself. Then Royce had to go on a business trip so I knew I had to tell him.

"Royce we need to talk" I had said. He looked at me warily and I don't blame him, nothing good has ever come, in the history of humankind, come out of those words. Except this time, for me anyway.

"I know we have never really talked about it but I think now's a good time as any…what's your take on kids?"

"I don't want them. I thought you knew that. I mean that time a few years back when we thought you were pregnant well that was the worst moment of my life. It helped me decide that kids aren't for me." I remembered thinking where did the man I fell in love with go. He was so abrupt in his refusal he left no room for discussion, not like he had done in the past.

"Seriously? You're not even willing to take into consideration that we're financially well equipped to care for a child? Or that we have one hell of a support system as far as my parents are concerned?"

"Sweetheart you know I love you right? But my childhood was too screwed up. I don't think I have anything I can offer a child."

"You do. You would be a wonderful father. You're kind, caring and have the biggest heart. Plus you can be strict when you need to be."

"You really think so?"

"I do." He visibly relaxed at my words and my heart warmed at the realization that his main hang up with children was his insane belief that he wouldn't be a good father.

"So what made you bring this topic up Dr. Phil?" he teased.

"Well…because it's a relevant and necessary conversation to have…and because we're pregnant."

"What? How? Aren't you on the pill?"

"Yes but it isn't 100% fool proof you know?"

He mumbled something that sounded like 'don't I know it' but I wasn't sure so I had ignored it.

"So are you angry?"

"I'm not sure how I feel exactly. I need some time. Please. Just give me some time."

That was the entire conversation on Tyler. For seven of the most excruciating hours of my life there was nothing but silence. That night when I was about to sleep I noticed his clothes were gone. I knew I hadn't heard him leave the house so I walked to the two spare rooms to look for him. I found him in the one furthest from our room.

"Aren't you coming to bed?" I asked him, desperate for some sign that he was okay, that _we_ were okay.

He turned to me and he said in the coldest tone I'd ever heard him use "I am in bed. Now if you'd please excuse me I'm going to go to sleep now." As I was about to respond his cell phone rang and he answered it. I remembered feeling my world careen to a devastating halt. I walked out of the room and heard the door slam behind me and I realized, on some level, that our marriage was over.

He took off for his business trip. When he came back he filed for a divorced. The exact conversation, or lack thereof, is etched into my memory, an immovable mountain in my past. He walked up to me as he dropped down his luggage by the front door. "I want a divorce" he said and walked out the door luggage in hand. I broke out in tears and did not stop crying until well into the night.

I eventually went into labor. It had been long and painful but when I saw my little miracle I could not be bothered in the least by that. The moment I saw Royce's face reflected in my son's I nearly died of heartbreak. When I was released from the hospital two days later I was again greeted by an empty house except this time I felt its emptiness too. It was no longer a home. I vowed then and there to never let a man break me like that again, never let a man resort me to tears, ever.

Three months later to the day I was officially a divorced woman who was selling her house and I had met Bella. Not even two months after that I ran into a mutual friend of ours and heard that Royce remarried and was expecting a baby girl in a matter of weeks. With that news the final brick in the wall around my heart was cemented into place. The Cold Bitch formally known as Rosalie was born.

≈**END OF FLASHBACK≈**

"Hey what's up?" Emmett's voice rouses me from my thoughts.

"Nothing. I'm just thinking that's all."

"What about? You looked so sad."

"Just about how I got to this point."

"Hmmm" is his only response.

Sitting in his car, with Tyler securely in the backseat, I again lose myself to my thoughts.

≈**FLASHBACK≈**

"Ms. Hale your table is ready." It was one of those rare occasions where I'd gone out for lunch.

I walked to my window seat and looked around the diner. That was when I saw him. His curly brown hair was cropped perfectly for his handsome and muscular face. His green eyes looked over his menu and, for the first time in my life, I felt jealous of an inanimate object. What I wouldn't have done to have his eyes look me over like that.

His muscles were threatening to burst through his white cotton shirt and slate grey trousers.

Overall he was handsome and he looked effortless in his perfection. The fact that he was dining alone also excited me and with no ring on his finger I was pleased.

But I was not on the market for a new relationship. I was still too broken for that, but I was certainly allowed to look.

I ordered my burger and fries in a rare carb binge and topped it off with a diet coke.

Just as my order came I noticed someone other than the waitress standing next to my table. As I looked up I let out an audible gasp. He was standing right there and I'll be damned if he doesn't look even better up close.

"Good afternoon. Care for some company?"

"Sure. Feel free." I tried to tone down my desire for him but it was a futile fight.

We talked for my entire lunch hour and I knew right then that I wanted to see him again.

The following day he came to my office and we had lunch there together. I told him that I wanted to move slowly and he accepted that.

Our relationship began in the opposite way of mine with Royce which comforted me a great deal. He would give me the space I needed and he was very understanding about Tyler which was the most important thing to me.

Fast forward a couple months and I was beginning to really like Emmett. That was when my first late night almost sleepover took place. It was calm yet passionate, simple and affectionate but amazing all at the same time. After that I would frequently stay over and crawl into my own bed at the most indecent hours, smiling while thinking of Emmett, my big teddy bear.

≈**END OF FLASHBACK≈**

"We're here." _Oh. Wow I must have zoned out again._ I get out of the car and notice that Emmett already unhooked my son from his car seat. I remember being completely stunned when he bought one and installed it in his car long before he even met Tyler.

We enter the kid-friendly restaurant and the maître-d seat us immediately eyeing Tyler warily. I shoot her one of my signature death glares and she shies away immediately. _Damn right! My baby is bloody well behaved so don't you dare look at him like he's one of those other little brats that you have to deal with._ Emmett chuckles beside me and I realize that miss-quick-to-judge was not the only one to see my deadly look. _Oh well._

"Rosie, honey, have you given any thought to my offer?" I can see the hope in his eyes as he asks me and my heart breaks, for him and for me.

"Emmett you know I really like you right?"

"Oh oh. That does not sound good."

"Don't be silly. You think I'd bring Tyler along if I were breaking up with you? Although on second thought he would be a hell of a buffer right?"

He chuckles nervously. _Poor guy. I should ease his worries shouldn't I? But it's so fun to tease him._

"It's just, I can't, not yet. I'm sorry. Someday, maybe, but not right now. I still need time to get to the point where I'm confident enough with myself to be able to live with you. I really want to, but I'm just not ready."

"I understand" and I can see it in his eyes, he does understand.

"Let's eat. I'm starving."

I order Tyler's and my meal and Emmett teases me about my portion size.

"I seem to be rubbing off on you don't I? Damn Rose can you eat all that?"

"Shut up Em. I've just been expending more energy than usual that's all so obviously I'll need to eat more." Well at least I think so. There has to be a bloody reason for this unreasonable hunger.

"Hey I love that you have a healthy appetite. Besides I think you're going to be expending a lot more energy tonight if I get my way." He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively. I smack his hand playfully but laugh anyway.

We eat in silence, occasionally touching and kissing or doting on Ty-Ty. Before we know it, it's time to go.

The day flies by, probably because all I have set for this afternoon is paperwork.

Finally it's four o'clock and I hear a knock on my door.

"Come in" I say, barely above my normal tone of voice.

"Hello gorgeous. Ready to go? Little man is fussing; he wants his momma and I don't blame him. There's some things I just can't offer him that you can." He looks at my chest openly making his meaning clear.

"You are insatiable! Come on let's go." I shake my head as I walk out the door past him and leave for the day.

* * *

EPOV

**Other men said they have seen angels**

**But I have seen thee and thou art enough- G Moore**

_Get your head out of the gutter man! Just because she's bending over like that, in that tight little…_

"I'm ready for you.'

_What did she just say? She can't possibly mean…_

"Edward…the eggplant?"

_Oh right._

_Shit I really need to get my head on straight._

I nearly burn myself on the oven rack when Bella brushes past me and I feel the odd type of electricity go through my body.

The eggplant is safely in the oven and so I turn and watch Bella out of the corner of my eye. She was so graceful and confident in the kitchen; no hint of her usual clumsiness. She seems so at home with the utensils, I realize that honestly I'm really unnecessary and she was probably just being nice when she allowed me to help. I felt honored that she accepted me into her space.

"Hey you're supposed to be helping not standing around staring at me" she teases me.

_I want to do a lot more than stare at you Bella._

"What do you want me to do…" _for you but preferably to you…_

She blushes, maybe at something in my expression. She's very perceptive I have come to notice.

The first time I laid eyes on her I knew I had to have her, in every possible way. Watching her cooking just made me want her that much more but I know that with her I need to move slow. Somehow that doesn't bother me though.

"Assemble the salad? The dressing's already made."

"Cool." I begin to cut up the necessary vegetables and arrange them in the bowl. When I finish I place it in the refrigerator so the lettuce leaves wouldn't wilt.

"Done."

"Great. Well I won't start on the fish and mac and cheese until closer to dinner time. So I'll get started on the chocolate mousse. Would you like to do the vanilla mousse?"

"Sure. I've never made this before so you're gonna have to show me how."

"No problem. It's pretty simple."

I watch as she moves through the process as though it's second nature to her. I follow her step for step and am really pleased with myself as I notice mine turn out just as hers did.

"Good job. Now stick it in the fridge and we can relax for a little bit. The eggplant should be ready in about another two minutes or so." We walk to the living room and Bella seats herself on the couch.

How disappointing. But no matter, I can make that work.

I sit on the couch right next to her. Sitting this close the scent of strawberry and freesias assault my nostrils.

Mmm.

"Mmm?" she asks. Shit did I say that out loud?

"The food. It smells great." That seems reasonable enough. I don't want her thinking I'm some kind of weirdo who went around sniffing people.

"Oh. Yeah. It does, doesn't it?"

X-X-x-X-X

Saying Bella looked stunning in her metallic blue cocktail dress would be a gross understatement. Her hair was simple, no fuss, but didn't take away from the overall look.

She notices me looking at her and that irresistible blush creeps up her cheeks. I want so badly to just reach out and stroke her face where the blush has emerged. Would she let me?

Only one way to find out really.

I walk over to where she's standing and I slowly reach out my hand giving her enough time to pull away or stop me if she wants. As my hand makes contact with her soft warm flesh I almost moan aloud. The spark of electricity intensifies and all I want to do is feel her soft plump lips on mine. I look in his eyes and I see the slightest hint of an invitation from her.

_No need to ask me twice!_

Again I move in slowly gauging her reaction. I want to kiss her so badly but I want to be sure that that is what she wants. I am not about to force myself on her like some sort of sexual deviant who has no control over his body and his hormones.

When we kiss time stops. Nothing else exists, no one else exists. It's just the two of us, right here right now.

I don't know how long we stood there, lips connected, hands exploring but the throat clearing behind us snaps me back to reality pretty quickly.

Rosalie.

_Damn._

I turn to face her and she has a huge grin on her face.

"Bella. I think I need you to help me with something in my room." _Yeah sure, and my name is Clark Kent. Ha._

Only as they walk off I notice that Emmett is standing there with an extremely annoying smirk on his face.

I sigh and ask "what?"

"Oh nothing…"

"Emmett, please. Do not patronize me okay. I know you and you don't do subtle well."

"Alright, fair enough. I thought you told me you and Bella are just getting to know each other, taking it slow. That looked to me like you got to know her a hell of a lot better and left slow behind a long time ago."

"Em don't be ridiculous. We _are_ taking it slow."

"So explain to me why Rose and I walk in on you two practically inhaling each other?"

"I don't know. It just happened. One minute I was thinking about telling her how beautiful she looked and the next…" I glance to my left and notice that some of Bella's lipstick is smudged on my face. I wipe it off slowly and carefully, purposefully avoiding Em's gaze. He has a special knack of seeing right through me. Now was not the time for a deep man to man conversation. Not with Bella and Rosalie only a few rooms away.

"Uh huh. I believe you…" I know he really doesn't. Especially since the next words from his mouth are "well she does look good enough to eat."

I smack him on the back of his head Rosalie style.

"Watch your mouth man!"

"Defensive…You really like her don't you?"

"Yea, I do." More than I'm willing to admit right now.

Bella and Rose re-enter the room. I notice Bella's make-up has been retouched and her face is scarlet with her blush.

"What time are Alice and Jas getting here?" I ask and she looks appreciative of the diversion of focus.

"I'm not sure. I was just about to call her. Hang on." She leaves the room and I want so badly to follow her but I think we've given Em and Rosalie enough to think about.

When she returns she tells us that they are only five minutes away so she and Rosalie begin to lay out dinner. Em and I offer to help but they shoo us off telling us to watch some tv or something. _Fine by me._

X-X-x-X-X

Bella's cooking was divine but now I'm so full from all the food I ate I feel sluggish. _Ugh._

Alice, Bella, Em and I are sitting in the living room while Rosalie and Jasper catch up. Apparently they haven't seen each other since Tyler's birth or there about.

When they return we all sit and talk for hours on end. No one pays attention to the time, it's the weekend. Eventually Em and Rose leave us to go check on Tyler. Jas and Alice walk outside for some alone time leaving Bella and I to ourselves.

She situates herself closer to me on the loveseat.

"About this afternoon…"she begins and I all but kick myself. She was regretting it. I pushed her too far. What now? How do I fix it?

"Bella I'm so sorry…"

"Sorry?" Her face almost looks pained. _Hmmmm._

"It's fine. We don't have to talk about it."

"No but I want to…I need to, I need to know where this is going. I mean you're leaving pretty soon. I don't want to start something and then have you walk out of my life a few days later you know?"

_So she does regret the kiss but just not for the reason I thought. _

"Oh. Um, well…wow. I haven't really thought that far ahead. I just wanted to enjoy the little time that I do have with you and when we get to that point we'll figure it out from there. I can't honestly promise you anything, I wish I could, but I can't."

She gets a pensive look on her face and I hope and pray that she gives us a chance.

"Sort of a living in the moment kind of thing?"

"Yea. Do you think that will be enough for you?"

"I could make it be enough."

"I'm glad because, to be honest, any time with you at all is worth the pain of separation." At those words she leans over and captures my lips with hers. Again we are interrupted, this time by Jasper and Alice.

_Great._

Alice giggles and pounces on Bella.

"Bella! We need to talk, now!" She drags Bella into the kitchen and Jas sits next to me.

_I see another apology is in order. First for Rose and now for Alice and I should probably apologize in advance for Em, just because._

"You and Bella huh?" he asks me.

"Bella and me. What about you and Alice?"

"It's great. But she has to leave soon. I don't know what I'm going to do without her and we've only just met. Is that crazy"

"I don't think I'm the best judge on that because sadly I know exactly how you feel" I sigh.

"Oh right. I forgot you're leaving too. Sucks doesn't it?"

"Big time."

"Why so serious you two?" Rosalie asks floating into the room with Em at her heels.

"No reason" we answer simultaneously.

"Uh huh" she laughs at us.

Bella and Alice return and they walk towards Jasper and I and sit on our laps.

_Hmmm, I can get used to this._

We sit and talk some more and consume copious amounts of alcohol. Eventually we decide it's time to leave so that everyone can get some much needed sleep. Em declares he's sleeping over. _Big surprise!_

We call up a cab and I immediately regret the decision because that meant I would have to leave Bella. On the positive side though I know that I'll be seeing her in a couple hours.

The cab arrives and I say my goodbyes to Em and Rosalie. Bella walks us to the door. She and Alice hug and she waves Jas off. They head to the cab giving Bella and I a moment alone to say goodnight. She kisses my cheek and I kiss her forehead.

"What time are we leaving for the club tonight?" I ask.

"Around nine. Jas' band comes on at ten so we should get there with enough time to spare."

"Will it be okay if I came over a little earlier?" She barely hesitates to answer.

"Sure what time?" _Hell yes!_

"Maybe seven?"

"Great"

"Goodnight Bella."

"Night Edward."

I kiss her hand and walk to the cab and feel my heart tear as half of it stays with Bella, tonight and always.

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So what did you think? I'd love to hear your thoughts. Even if it's just to say how dare u take so long to update or it was nothing special (although I hope it was).

Please leave a review. It keeps me going.

Oh and btw if u review u get a sneak peek at the next chapter…just saying…


	5. Time really does fly yada yada yada

**I really hope u like it…

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**Soul meets soul on lover's lips- Percy Bysshe Shelly**

Last night…no yesterday was one interesting as hell day. First Edward and I kissed and got caught by Rose. I am never going to live _that_ down. She completely interrogated me, asking me why I didn't tell her Edward and I are an item after denying it mere hours before. _Obviously because I didn't know we were until that point Rose._

Dinner was great. Our group fit perfectly with each other, almost as if we knew each other forever or we were meant to be close or something.

Then I decided to ask Edward about our 'relationship' and I all but die at his response. It's as if he mirrors my thoughts and emotions almost exactly. We kiss again and, like the first time I almost explode at the cacophony of emotions running through me, _nothing_ like I've ever felt before. My experience before was limited but mediocre compared to the feeling of Edward's soft lips against mine.

When it was time for him to go I nearly burst into tears. I was about to ask him to spend the night but then I thought better of it. I'm _not_ that kind of girl. The kind of girl that only just meets a guy and invites him over and is all over him before the night is over.

Sleep was evasive and not restful in the least but I manage to get a little over four hours. But, now that I'm awake I feel the after effects of consuming more alcohol in one week than I've ever drunk in one month. _Ugh._

I roll over ad notice it's time for Tyler's breakfast so I drag my lazy butt of the bed and get ready to start my day. I have a job to do after all.

When I'm finished with my morning ritual I walk to Ty-Ty's nursery and fish him out. He grins at me and nestles himself into my arms as I carry him to the kitchen. I've found it's better to carry him around because when that little bundle of energy is set loose on the ground there is no directing his movements. He runs as fast as his little feet can take him all around any available space until he becomes tired and has to just sit and play with a toy until he's ready to go again. It is way too early in the morning and I am way too hung over to have to run behind him to get him to eat.

"Are you hungry?" I ask him and he nods vigorously.

I take out some baby food and set him on his high chair. After I finish feeding him, another thing which is easier to do than waiting around until he decides food is no longer fun to play with and more fun to eat, I clean him up and walk to the living room with him. I set him down with his favourite toy car and get started on the grown-ups breakfast. I know Emmett is always hungry and Rose seems to be eating a lot more these days so I make twice the normal share of pancakes, bacon and eggs.

As I scoop out the last of the eggs into the serving plate Rose shuffles into the kitchen. Rose NEVER shuffles.

"Are you okay Rose? You look a bit green."

"Ugh. I feel like hell. I've thrown up so much for the morning. Remind me never to drink so much again."

"Poor thing. Here eat this, put something in your stomach you might feel better."

"I certainly hope so."

She sits and gobbles down her eggs but doesn't touch the bacon.

Emmett comes out just as Rose and I are finishing eat. I fix him a plate while Rose excuses herself.

X-X-x-X-X

"Guess what Bella!"

"What?"

"Em and I are coming along. Mom and Dad are taking Tyler for the weekend." _Mr. and Mrs. Hale?_ I have always heard of them and now I would finally see them up close and personal. Excitement moves through me at that prospect.

"Cool."

"They'll be here in the next thirty minutes. Do you think you can get him ready?"

"Sure."

She picks up the phone and dials Emmett's number and tells him of the change of plans.

I bathe, dress and pack Tyler a bag and walk out with him to his mom's room. I look around and at first assume that she's not in there but then I hear the toilet flush. She emerges from the bathroom looking slightly disheveled.

"Are you okay Rose?"

"Yea. I just have a stomach bug or something. I'm fine. I'll just take some pepto bismol to settle it and I should be okay."

"Ok. So you're still coming then?"

"Yup. I haven't been out in so long and besides I want to hear my cousin play."

"If you're sure."

We walk from her room and towards the living room. I sit with Tyler on the floor playing with his little plastic action heroes. The telephone rings and Rose answers it. From the smile on her face I know for a fact that it had to be Emmett. She was so in love with him. It was written all over her face so even if she wasn't ready to admit the feelings to herself or if she wasn't aware of them yet there was no denying the simple fact. I sit and play with Tyler some more while trying my hardest to ignore the phone conversation going on right next to me.

Hearing the doorbell I get up from my perch on the floor next to Tyler and go to answer it.

I open the door and am greeted by two of the most beautiful people I have ever seen. I had to hold back the gasp that was threatening to escape me as I took in Rosalie's parents. Compared to her mother's beauty Rosalie's paled in comparison, and that was hard to do. Mr. Eric Hale was dressed casually in a pair of black cotton pants and a cream colored linen shirt. His sandy blond hair and hazel eyes were magnificent and complemented his hard features. He looks distinguished and carries himself in the manner of someone born into money and prestige; it is when he speaks however I am able to realize how very down to earth he really is. Mrs. Susan Hale was a statuesque female specimen. Her short honey blond hair highlighted her high cheek bones and blue cat eyes. Her smile was perfection, all white teeth and absolutely inviting. Her summery blue dress makes her look ubёr feminine and very approachable. She hugs me as though we've known each other for ages and says "I'm glad to finally meet you Bella. Rose speaks very highly of you. I appreciate all that you do for her and for my grandson."

I blush crimson at the compliment.

As I take in their appearance again while they walk past me into the room I can't help but think what it must have been like for Rose to grow up with them.

_Damn._ I would have such a complex having to grow up with them as a teenage girl, still experiencing bouts of self consciousness, as all girls that age does. Heck I feel extremely inferior and out of place _now_ and I believe I'm self aware enough to know that I shouldn't really be feeling like that. Everyone has their own special qualities that make them beautiful in their own right, but damn if there's isn't out there for you to see. No need to search too hard for what makes them attractive at all.

Rose walks out and hugs her mom and kisses her dad on the cheek. All the beauty in the room made me feel as though I'm on the set of some crazy Hollywood movie or something. They are a picture perfect family and just going on appearances only one would think that they had not a care in the world simply because the world was always easy for pretty people, especially pretty and rich people. But knowing Rose as I do I know how far from the truth that is. It's true what they say; you can't judge a book by its cover.

"Sweetheart, are you okay? You look a bit pale." Rosalie's mom asks her.

"I'm fine. Just a little stomach bug. But I'll be back to normal in no time."

"Dad the Washington State Hospital project is almost complete so Mr. Cullen is ready to meet with you as soon as you are. I had Angela check your schedule yesterday with Lauren and she said you're booked solid all of next week so you probably won't be able to meet with him until the following Monday." Knowing that he was leaving and hearing the reason for his stay is almost gone are two completely different things. My heart tightens at the fact that once Edward meets with Rosalie's dad he would have no real reason to remain here. As much as I'd like to hope that I would be enough for him to stay I knew that I could never be enough, not for someone like him. He was too good, too perfect and too beautiful to ever really need to consider dropping everything for someone like me. I'm just a plain, small town girl with nothing but her heart to offer. My heart is just not enough.

I leave the room quickly not wanting Rosalie or her parents to see me fall apart over someone I have known for all of three days. What the hell is wrong with me? I've only just met him yet I here I am, locked in the bathroom having a panic attack at the idea of him having to leave in a few short days. How is it possible that in three days I could have grown so attached to Edward? I shake my head at my reflection in the mirror and laugh at the person I see looking back at me. She looks slightly panicked but definitely excited. I barely recognize myself because, three days ago, I would have seen a girl who was slightly overwhelmed by her lot in life and struggling to find an anchor, something to hold me together. I'm still a bit overwhelmed and looking for an anchor but I'm feeling a lot more able to cope and there was a light at the end of the tunnel because I have found something to hold me together, even if it is only for two short weeks.

I hear a knock on the door of the powder room and I rearrange my features trying to look as calm as possible.

I open the door and walk out and run right into Rose.

"Bella? Are you okay? You just stormed out of there like a bat out of hell I thought maybe you hurt yourself or something." She looks me over surreptitiously as she asks this.

"Yea…I just needed to pee…" I hope that she doesn't press the topic and buys my lame excuse but she seems appeased and I let out a relieved breath. We walk back to the living room and I notice her parents are gone.

"They left already?"

"Yes. They have some guests coming over so they wanted to get back home in time to meet them. Plus we still need to get ready so they didn't want to take up too much time." I nod at her explanation. I look at my watch and notice that Edward would be here in the next half an hour. I feel the anticipation build in my limbs.

Rose notices my mood change and chuckles under her breath.

"Go ahead."

I need no explanation. I know exactly what she means and I don't hesitate as I hug her and rush to my room to quickly shower and dress before Edward arrives. Just as I'm finishing dress I hear the doorbell and the butterflies in my stomach begin to flutter knowing that Edward has arrived. I speed up and rush out the bedroom but the minute I get close to view I slow down. _No need to look too anxious right?_

I turn the corner and my breath catches in my throat. Standing there looking more perfect than can be accurately described is Edward. He is wearing a fitted black t-shirt with grey graphic designs all over the front showing off the best parts of his body. His jeans are form fitting dark wash Levis and fall just above his shoes. _Wow._

I look down at myself and immediately feel like hiding in my room until he leaves or at least run to change into something less…simple I guess. I have on a short black dress that Rose bought me when I first started working for her. She had found out that my birthday was the day before we met for the very informal job interview. I had told her she didn't need to do anything or buy anything for me but she insisted. I accentuated it with red jewelry and ballet flats. Wearing heels twice in one week is just _not_ happening. No way.

"Hello beautiful." He makes his way over to me and my heart palpitates. My blush creeps up my chest and stains my cheeks a brilliant red.

"Hi."

Rose walks out of the room leaving us alone just as Edward reaches me.

He runs his hand up my face and I lean into its warmth. He inches forward slowly and so do I. We meet halfway and our lips connect and I feel as though I'm in heaven. It's been so long since I've felt his lips against my own that I can't help the moan that escapes my lips. I feel the blush heat up my body as the reality of what I just did hits me. I hear him chuckle lightly and I'm twice as mortified now.

I pull away slowly and avert my eyes from his. I do not need to see the huge grin on his face to know that he's laughing at my reaction to his kiss.

He puts his hand under my chin and lifts my face to his.

"Don't. Please don't look away from me."

I nod my acceptance of his condition.

"Where's the little guy?" he asks me.

"He's at his grandparents' house. Rose and Emmett are coming with us tonight to hear Jas play."

"Really. That's great. But I spoke to Emmett earlier on and he didn't mention anything."

"Yea he probably wouldn't have. Rose only just decided that she wanted to come along and so she rung up her parents."

He nods his head and moves to the couch and sits.

I move towards him and he pulls me onto his lap.

"Did I mention how absolutely breathtaking you look tonight Bella?"

"No. I don't think you have…but I could say the same about you." Even though I respond nonchalantly inside my head screams: _as if you could be placed anywhere near the same category as this demi-god in front of you._

_But he was the one to say that I look breathtaking so maybe I shouldn't beat myself up about it._

_Edward…Edward Cullen called me, Isabella Swan, breathtaking._

My blush takes over my face once again at the realization.

"You're blushing. What are you thinking about Bella?" As he asks this he runs the back of his hands across my cheek and the sensation it creates is amazing. The slight tingle of the electricity only adds to the feeling.

"Nothing..."

"I don't believe you. No one blushes at nothing Bella."

"I was just thinking how much of a charmer you are okay. Happy?" He'll never be able to prove otherwise and so I feel a little smug. It probably shows. _Oh well._

He narrows his eyes at me assessing my response.

"Somehow I don't believe that's true but I guess I have no choice but to accept that."

"No you don't." I respond and laugh lightly.

Rose walks back into the living room looking slightly better than she was earlier.

"Hey Rose. How do you feel?"

"Much better thanks. I took some of the pink solution and a few Andrews. I told you I'd be good enough to still be able to tag along. Can't get rid of me that easily Bella." She winks at me.

I laugh and say "that's great. And I'm not trying to get rid of you sweetie, I love your company too much."

We sit and talk until the rest of the gang arrives. We call two cabs which are set to arrive in forty five minutes. Rose runs into her room to change into her clothes. When she walks out the whole room goes silent. She wore a very figure hugging red wrap dress and her hair is swept up in an intricate coiffed design. Her necklace is a teardrop design which falls just between her cleavage. Her makeup is understated which works perfectly since her features are striking enough to begin with. Her legs go on forever and end in a pair of killer Louboutin heels.

"Wow" the group says in unison. Emmett quickly makes his way over to her and kisses her passionately. I blush and look away. Edward notices the action and chuckles. I elbow him in the rib and he winces.

"Serves you right" I mumble and he chuckles again.

The cabs arrive a few short moments later and we pile in. Rose and Emmett take the first one and Edward, Alice and I use the other one. I feel a sense of déjà vu.

X-X-x-X-X

"And now we present to you, on stage, for the first time here at the Village Underground, 'The Slipshots'."

Our table erupts into loud whoops and boisterous clapping. Jasper walks on stage and Alice bounces in her seat. She is so into him it's scary. I have never seen Alice get so completely lost in someone so quickly before, in fact not once has she fallen so hard for a guy. Jasper must really be something special.

We sit and watch Jasper's performance entranced by his voice and the lyrics of his song. His band mates are at best superb on their instruments. I see what Rose meant now about them being able to perform professionally if they chose to. Wow is all I can think to say.

A few minutes later Jasper walks towards our table and Alice gets up and runs over to him. She throws herself in his arms and they spin. In the middle of the crowd. As though the world did not exist. _Wow._

They eventually make their way back to the table and the guys shake Jasper's hand, Rose hugs him and gives him a kiss on the cheek. I stand and hug him and tell him what a stellar performance it was.

As I sit down I notice Edward's face is a little tense. _Hmmm. I wonder what's wrong._

"Are you okay?" I whisper in his ear.

He looks at me out of the corner of his eyes and gives me a tight smile.

"I'm fine Bella." _Yea and my name's Cinderella._

"Liar."

He looks at me quickly and lets out a breath.

"It's fine. I'll deal with it. I swear." I look at him and realize that whatever's bothering him I'll have to wait until he's ready to open up to me.

The night runs smoothly we all laugh and drink, well except for Rose. She still doesn't feel good enough to partake in more alcohol.

Eventually we begin to feel the effects of not enough sleep so we decide to call it a night. We call up two more cabs and this time Jasper rides with us since he got a drop to the club with his band mates. As we walk towards the cab I hear Ali ask Jasper to spend the night with her. I know for a fact that Emmett is sleeping over at Rose's. I guess the only ones whose beds will be empty tonight are mine and Edward's.

I sigh and Edward as attentive as he is asks me what's wrong.

"Nothing. Just thinking. That's all."

"What about?" I was hoping he wouldn't ask but I guess I should have realized that he would. _I can't very well tell him what I was thinking. He'll think I'm some sort of a hypocrite who says one thing but does another._

"I was just thinking that it's one day closer until you have to leave." It wasn't entirely false. It was always in the back of my mind that Edward's leaving soon, especially after the reminder I had today.

He looks a little sad. _Great Bella. Just great. _

"I know. I wish there was something I could do to just stop time forever that way I'll never have to leave. Not until you want me to." _I doubt I ever will._

"If only…"

We get into the cab and move closer towards me and Edward going our separate ways and I can't help but feel a little melancholy at that fact. He sees my facial expression and brushes his hands across my cheek. I reach up and kiss him softly and will the cab ride to never end.

* * *

**As promised i updated pretty quickly. But i'm not getting any feedback which is a bit discouraging...it makes me wonder if people are appreciating the effort...for those of u who did review thanks a million!**

**let me kno wat u think and where u think the story is heading to next. ur opinions r always welcomed.**


	6. The world is spinning, but I don't care

**Life is a long lesson in humility- James M. Barrie**

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_Ugh._

_I absolutely detest hangovers and yet here I am, again, feeling like I drank every last drop of alcohol left in the club. Stupid move Bella._

_My head is spinning._

_My mouth is dry as hell and my stomach is protesting my out of character behaviour. I honestly don't remember drinking all that much but my body tells me otherwise. Just perfect._

_At least it's a Sunday so I don't have any classes. As if that could make up for me feeling like this. Ugh._

_Tyler isn't here so I don't have to work either. Thank God. I mean I love the little guy to death but today is just not a good day to be running around behind a toddler. Not in the least._

I turn and look at the radio clock on my bed head and notice that it's already noon. _How the hell did I manage to sleep in for an entire half of the day? And still feel like shit? Ugh._

_Alcohol._

_They should sue the idiot who decided to invent a drink that leaves you so totally incapacitated after you consume it. It goes down great but…it's the after that's a bitch to deal with._

I hear a loud banging on the door but I don't have the desire, will or energy to get up to answer it.

_What the hell?_

I simply groan out permission to enter.

_Shit. If I thought I looked bad…_

"Rose. Sweetie are you alright?"

"I think I need to sleep for at least a week more. This stupid stomach flu has me feeling like I'm dying. The nausea, the spinning. Ugh. It's unbearable."

"So what are you doing up? Go back to bed" I chastise. She really doesn't well enough to be out of bed let alone traipsing around the house!

"I will. I just came to check on you. I haven't heard any movement from this area since we came in this morning. Are you okay?" _Now I feel terrible. She's feeling worse than I am yet she has the presence of mind to come check on me regardless. Great._

"I feel like hell but I'll be fine after I get something in my stomach. Have you eaten?"

"Please don't talk about food. Ugh." She turns almost green at just the mention of food. _Poor thing._

"Oh you poor thing. Maybe you should go see a doctor tomorrow if this persists. Or if you feel too terribly to wait that long maybe we can get Edward to look you over? He wouldn't be able to prescribe you anything of course but you never know. It might help."

"That's the other reason I came in here. I needed Edward's number. I don't want to worry Em so that's why I didn't ask him for it."

I nod my head in understanding and motion for her to take my phone.

"Could you call for me? I just feel a little bit weird about having to call him" she asks nervously.

"Sure no problem. You go ahead and lay down. When he gets here I'll let you know. Let's hope he doesn't feel as horrid as I do."

I dial the now familiar number and listen to the ring. It's strange how comfortable I have become dialing Edward's number in such a short number of days. I stop myself from thinking about how much it will hurt when I won't be able to dial that number anymore when he returns home. I can't afford to feel depressed right now. Rose needs me to be strong for her.

I am distracted from my reverie by his beautiful velvet voice. He doesn't sound in the least bit hung over. _Lucky bastard!_

"Hey beautiful. To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"Well hello to you to. You sound rather chipper. How did you manage that? I feel like I've been run over, twice, by a trailer and you sound so…normal." _Understatement of the year Bella._

"I have my ways. But mostly I drank a lot of water and took two aspirin as soon as I woke up this morning."

"This morning? I just managed to return to the land of the living."

He chuckles and I feel like smacking him for being so unruffled and having the audacity to laugh at me on top of it. _So unfair._

"Aww. Anything I can do to make you feel better?" _You can do oh so much to make me feel better you have no idea..._

_Speaking of which. Rose._

"Nah. I'll be fine. But you can do something to help Rose though. She seems to have come down with a stomach flu so she was wondering if you could come over and check her out? Please? With whipped cream and a cherry on top?" I plead.

He chuckles again at my pathetic attempt at persuasion. _Whatever._

"Sure I can be there in a half hour."

"Thank you so much. I, we, really appreciate it."

"No problem."

"Oh and don't tell Emmett. She doesn't want him to worry. I think she told him she's feeling better so…"

"Noted. I'll see you soon Bella, bye."

"Bye."

I rush to the bathroom; well more like walked since any sudden movement causes my head to scream in remonstration, to get cleaned up before Edward arrives. I cannot let him see my bird's nest on top of my head or smudged make-up which I forgot to remove last night, or my disgusting breath…I am a mess and that is just _not_ attractive.

As I'm finishing shower I hear the cab pull up. I know I'll never be able to finish dressing before answering the door and I don't want Rose to have to get up to do it so I wrap my towel around me and head to the door.

I open the door and the reality of the situation hit me as I see Edward's expression. His eyes are glued to my breasts and he takes a loud breath. My body burns red at the intensity of his stare and as if on cue he looks up and his eyes…_oh my, those eyes._ I squirm under his very expressive eyes, feeling completely naked. Well, granted I am naked, but his gaze makes me double check that the towel is still in place. _Wouldn't that be just my luck though? He would definitely run away screaming thinking I was some sort of creep who invited people under the guise of one thing only to flash them upon arrival._ I chuckle sarcastically to myself.

He clears his throat embarrassedly and I move aside to let him in. _Maybe he thinks I'm crazy, laughing by myself like I skipped my meds this morning…great. Or maybe he thinks…oh who the hell knows what he's thinking!_

"Um…hang on a second while I get dressed?"

He nods. He seems as though he's fighting some internal battle and as such can't answer me. _Oh well. _I sigh and walk away, not bothering to try to figure out the complex creature that is Edward Cullen.

I dress quickly in a sundress and leave my damp hair down my back. _I'll deal with it later. Rose is more important than having to comb out a few silly tangles._

Walking back out towards where I knew Edward would be, waiting for _me_, I feel the butterflies in my stomach come alive once again and the anticipation of being in such close proximity to him makes my mouth dry, my palms sweaty and my heart race.

As I get to the living room he stands from his seat at the couch and clears his throat.

"I must have forgotten my manners back at the hotel" he chuckles nervously. "Hello Isabella… Forgive me for not saying it sooner." He looks so apologetic as he says it.

"To be quite honest I hadn't even noticed. But all the same, hello to you to Edward."

He moves towards me slowly and I swallow nervously. _So his beauty intimidates me a little, what the hell ever._

He leans in to me and brushes a stray lock from my face before kissing my cheek softly. My cheek burns slightly and I exhale slowly at the tingle of electricity at even that small contact.

"Rose is this way." I say quickly before I get distracted.

We walk in silence towards Rose's room. I knock and let myself in. Edward waits outside while I make sure she's decent.

She's lying on her bed sound asleep, looking very angelic with her gold hair cascading across the pillow around her. Her cheeks are slightly flushed and as I reach out to wake her I notice the slight sheen of sweat on her forehead. _Poor thing._

Her eyelids flutter open slowly and she smiles at me.

"Edward's here. He's just outside the door. Shall I let him in?"

"Please do."

I get up from her bed and walk to the door. As I go out of it Edward enters.

I leave them alone. I mean it's none of my business after all so I have no reason to stay.

I head to the kitchen for a glass of water.

A few minutes later Edward walks out.

"So did you figure out what's wrong with her?"

"I have a few theories. I gave her some space so she can call Em."

"She has to call Emmett? I thought she wasn't telling him?" confusion coloring my tone as I ask.

"Yea well she just may have to. I can't say anything for sure though."

I nod my understanding.

We walk to the living room and I turn on the television.

"So what do you want to watch? Since you're a guest it's up to you."

He looks at me with a mischievous smile on his face and shakes his head.

"What?" I ask nervously. I've seen that look before and it never means anything good for me.

"Oh nothing…" he responds and turns away from me and looks intently at the TV.

"Seriously. What?"

"I swear it's nothing. I just remembered something. That's all."

"Yea but now I'm curious. What was that look about?"I push.

"I was just wondering if you always answer the door in just a towel. Maybe I should come over during the day more often."

_Oh. My. God. He did not just say that!_

My blush is indescribable as I bury my face in my hands.

I feel his hands as he tugs my arms away from my face. I groan as my face becomes exposed.

"Please don't hide your face from me. Besides I'm just teasing. I know I must have caught you a little off guard."

I look up at him and I realize his sincerity. _He's not just trying to pacify me. How sweet._

"You did. I thought I would have at least finished dressing before you got here."

"Well it wasn't a bad way to arrive I'll tell you that much" he chuckles and my face reddens once more.

"Oh my. Could we please not talk about that? I'm mortified enough as it is." I bury my face in the couch cushions this time.

"Isabella. I asked you not to do that."

_Huh?_

"Not to do what?"

"Hide your face from me."

"I'm sorry."

"Thank you. Such beauty should not be hidden. Plus it's the only way I can know or at least guess what you're thinking. Everything is always written so plainly on your face and in your expressive eyes. It intrigues me; you intrigue me."

_Wow._

I probably look like an idiot just sitting staring at him but how do you follow something like that?

He reaches out to me and brushes my left cheek with his fingertips. I inch forward ever so slightly and our lips connect.

I lose all track of time but once more I get snapped back into reality by the clearing of a throat.

Both Edward and I sigh as we pull away from each other. We always seem to be getting interrupted.

"Edward?" I turn towards Rose as I hear the tone in her voice. She sounds almost nervous.

"Bella…" he starts to say something but I cut him off.

"Go on. She needs you. Besides that's why you came over right?" I say, trying to my hardest to not sound as disappointed as I feel.

He sighs once more and moves towards where Rose is standing.

"I'm really sorry Bella. I promise I won't keep him long."

"It's fine Rose. Really..."

I watch as they walk back to her bedroom. I turn to the TV and flip through the channels, eventually settling on cartoons.

_Mindless entertainment, that's exactly what I need._ I sit and watch a couple episodes of 'Spongebob' and 'Chowder' relishing in the ridiculousness of it all.

I hear a car pull up in the driveway and I know immediately that it can only be Emmett.

"Bells? Rosie?" his booming voice calls just as I hear a car door slam.

As I open the door I notice Emmett's fist is in the air.

"Ah! Don't hit me; I didn't do it, whatever it is" I tease. His face is entirely too serious and it looks strange on the likes of Emmett. He's always so cheery I feel like it's my personal duty to return the smile to his face.

He chuckles lightly but I can still see the tension. I guess it's as good as I can get.

"Sorry Bells. I didn't realize you opened the door. Where is she?" he asks in a rush. Completely opposite of his typical fashion. _Hmmm. He must really be stressed._

"In her room" I say and move out of his way. _I am not getting in between all those pounds of muscle and Rose. I don't have a death wish thank you very much._

As I watch him run to Rose's room I realize how in love he is with her. It must be nice to have someone love you so much. I can only hope that one day I'll have someone who loves me as much as that.

I return to the living room and sit in front of the TV again. I turn the station because iCarly is not my idea of a fun TV show. _I may watch cartoons but I'm not thirteen for crying out loud so that juvenile form of entertainment just does not work for me._ **{n.b: No offense to those who may like the show. It's just not my cup of tea…}**

I settle on watching '_Sixteen Candles'_. I absolutely love movies from the eighties and Molly Ringwald is just amazing in this movie. _I wish it was 'The Breakfast Club' though or 'Pretty in Pink' even…now that's a movie_. Halfway through, in the middle of the scene where Molly's character tries to figure out how to approach her dream guy, I hear Rose's door open. I look up to see Edward walking towards me with a brilliant smile on his face.

"What's up with you guy smiley?"

"Ha ha, very funny. I just heard some good news that's all."

"Really? Well good for you then."

Just as he takes his seat Rose's door opens again and both Emmett and Rosalie walk out.

"Bella. Can I speak with you for a minute?"

"Sure Rose. I'll be back Edward."

"No problem."

As I walk off my seat is taken by Emmett. He has a goofy grin on his face, much like Edward's. _Hmmm. I guess it's good news for them both then._

Seated at the kitchen table with Rose I take in her facial expression. _She looks a bit anxious but there's also an underlying hint of something else…happiness maybe?_

I shrug it off knowing that sooner or later I'll find out. She'll tell me in her own time, if she feels the need to share that is.

"Bella. How has it been for you, working for me? Has it been too much?"

_Huh? Where the hell did that come from?_

I answer her as honestly as I can.

"It's been an amazing experience. I never thought I'd like children. Okay let me rephrase that. I've always been the type who would look at a child and say 'aww how cute' and at the end of the day when that child goes home life is no different. There's no intense need or desire to answer the call of the biological clock, no special yearning to hear the pitter patter of little feet, you know? But Tyler has grown on me so much that I don't think I can honestly walk away now without missing him terribly. He's carved his own little space in my heart and so have you. Why do you ask?"

"I'll get to that. But answer me this Bella, where do you see yourself in the next two to five years?"

"That's a difficult question. Honestly I'd hope that I'd at least have finished my degree and moved into my own place. I can't keep living off of you. I'd also like to think that I've had started my career or at least be very close to doing so."

"So if I were to ask you to stay on with me for a few years, at least until Tyler starts school what would you say?"

"Wow…um. I…wow."

There are no words to describe how utterly shocked I am that she would want me to stick around for so long.

"The thing is Bella, you've been a great help to me and I don't think I could find someone as dedicated, caring and efficient as you to take your place. Not to mention Tyler would miss you dearly and so would I."

"I'm honored that you feel that way Rose."

"I'm pregnant."

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**So? What do you think? Good? Bad? Absolutely horrible and I should stop the torture right now and give up on writing all together? I would love to hear your opinions? If anyone's still reading that is...**

**Quick question…should I switch POVs like I did a couple chapters back or leave it as just Bella's.**


	7. Is it cruel to still hold out hope?

**The broken mirror may actually be was valuable as the one which is supposedly unflawed- Salman Rushdi, '**_**Imaginary Homelands'**_**.**

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"_I'm pregnant."_

Now to be quite honest I saw her mouth forming the words but my mind just could not compute the message, there was some sort of barrier blocking the communication process.

I shake my head trying to give my brain a jolt to wake up. I know she wants a response, and I want to give her one, I just can't.

I sit across from her open mouthed like a fish caught ashore in desperate need of oxygen blinking slowly.

"Bella?" she waves her hand in front of me, calling me back to reality.

"Um…are you sure?"

"Yea. We did some tests. Edward wants me to go in to do a urine test at a doctor's but that's just a formality."

"Uh huh."

"Uh huh? That's all you have to say? Bella I just told you I am having a baby…you know this is a sensitive area for me…the least you can do is tell me what you're thinking." I see the glistening of unshed tears in her eyes and I immediately feel like the worst friend ever.

"I know Rose. I'm so sorry. It just caught me off guard a little that's all. Before I give my opinion I want to know yours. Are you happy? I can tell from the grin on the guys' faces that their ecstatic at this new addition, but from yours I get nothing."

"I don't know what I feel Bells. I know I could not find a better man to have a child with but I also know that I thought that with Royce and look where that got me."

"Forget about him. He's not worth the time or the energy it takes to think about him. Honestly. Is that all that's bothering you though?" I can tell that there's something more and I want to know what it is that is truly bothering her.

"Tyler's still so young. What if he grows up to hate me for neglecting him? What if it's just too much for me to deal with? I'm scared Bella."

"Rose. Everything is going to be fine." As I say those words I realize the truth in them. It _would_ be fine, there was no other option, it had to be.

"You have Emmett who is obviously over the moon at becoming a father. You have your parents who love Tyler immensely so I could only assume that they would accept their other grandchild with just as much love. You have Emmett's family because, if Edward's reaction is any indication, this child would be loved and cared for as much as humanly possible. Tyler will adjust as long as he is given the love and attention that he needs. And of course you have me. Regardless of the capacity, be it employee or friend, I will always be here for you Rose. I promise."

"Oh Bella!" she cries and launches herself at me, tears streaming down her face.

X-X-X-X-X-X

Lying awake on my bed I think back to all that's happened today. _What a day!_

First I basically give Edward a show by answering the door with nothing but a towel on. Talk about embarrassing and crossing boundaries! Then Rose tells me she's pregnant. That little bombshell left me speechless for quite a while. But what I saw in her and Emmett's faces when she finally accepted the fact that she was having _his_ baby made my heart squeeze. More importantly it made me wonder what it was like for my parents when they found out that they were expecting me. Was it pure joy from the outset? A brief moment of panic? Or was it simply shrugged off as 'hey this is life; this is what happens, big deal'? I really hoped that it was pure joy, but, knowing my mom, there were probably a few moments of panic in there. I'm pretty sure of it.

I know that my childhood was pretty good but the question that keeps popping up is what the hell changed? What made her and my dad lose faith in me and in our relationship that they could cut me off so completely?

I feel tears run slowly down my face and I vow that, if and when I am to have kids, I will never treat them like they are nothing more than a phase in my life but a major part of my life; my entire life even.

After Rose's revelation we all sat and spoke for hours on end. Edward and I made out for a while. Thankfully Rose and Emmett were too preoccupied with their good news to say anything about it. Eventually Edward had to leave and Emmett offered to drop him back to the hotel since he was leaving to go home to get some clothes so he could spend the night here anyway.

That only succeeded in making me feel even more depressed with _my_ life. Here was Rosalie Hale, a perfect statuesque specimen of a human being, living a life that was progressively getting better since her ex-husband. She was happy.

And here I am nothing but a broken shell of myself with nothing and no-one but myself. Sure there was Rose and Ali, but at the end of the day there's only so much that they can do for me. They have their own lives to live. I can't even count Edward because in a few days he'll be gone. It's almost like the world's way of reinforcing the status quo: life is always easy for those who are beautiful and if you're not, well, buckle up because it's going to be one hell of a bumpy ride.

The tears come a little heavier and a little easier now. Suddenly I remember Alice. With that comes the memory of what she tells me every time I begin to feel down at the fact that my parents have screwed me up so entirely.

_Why the hell am I feeling sorry for myself? I am a determined driven young woman who is well on her way to doing something she loves. I may not be surrounded by parents who love me but I have friends who care for me and a guy who is interested in me. I'll enjoy his company while it lasts and I'll live my life taking whatever comes my way in stride. I can do this!_

_Right_, my pessimistic side screams at me. _Who the hell am I kidding? I am nowhere close to being this content with my life, well at least where my parents are concerned so it's no use trying to convince myself otherwise, I know better._

As if sensing the dark mood that I am entering my phone rings and the caller ID indicates it's Alice. She always seems to know when I need her.

"Ali! It's so good to hear your voice" I sniffle.

"Bells, what's wrong hun?"

"I don't know. Ugh. I guess I'm just feeling sorry for myself, again…"

"Well you know what I always tell you to do whenever you feel like this."

"Yea I know. I feel a bit better now. I did what you said and I looked at all the positives my life has to offer but I can't help but still feel a bit down."

"You want me to come over? I'm sure Rosalie won't mind. Not if she knew what you're going through."

"No. I'm fine. I'll deal. Maybe I'll feel better in the morning. So what's up?"

"Nothing. I just felt like calling you. I just had a feeling you needed me."

"You always do don't you? I love you Ali."

"Aw. I love you too. So what caused this bout of depression this time?"

"Rose is pregnant."

"Oh. And it made you think about your mom." I love how she didn't need to ask to know that that is what was truly bothering me about the whole situation. Lord knows I am ecstatic for Rose and Emmett, she deserves some happiness after all she has been through but it just hurts that I haven't been afforded any such happiness, true happiness that lasts more than a brief moment, in a long time.

"Yea."

She sighs and I have a feeling I know what she's about to say.

"Bella. Listen to me. Your mom loves you. She might not show it the way normal mom's do but she does. She has to. What's not to love?"

"_Right._ _That's_ why she's neglected me all this time. And what about Charlie? He loves me too right? Isn't that what you're gonna say? Well I call bullshit! They obviously don't care and I could care less." My voice cracks as I say this because I know for a fact that I _do_ care. And if I can't even convince myself how the hell will I convince Alice?

"Bella! Don't you dare! You know what, I am coming over."

I immediately burst into tears again because I realize how much Alice really loves me. And I love her for it.

I move to the living room to wait for her to arrive praying that she didn't awake Rose or Emmett when she got here. Rose hasn't been sleeping well so her waking up at one a.m. is just not ideal. As a result I leave all the lights off. It matches my dark mood perfectly. The shadows from the sliver of lights from the streetlights cause the furniture to look grotesque and slightly sinister against the wall. The lamp on the side of the couch looks like an anorexic version of the guy from Sesame Street that's always trying to sell you useless crap in its reflection on the opposite wall. I tremble a bit at that. Call me a wuss but that dude creeps me out. _'Hey you! Wanna buy a vowel?'_ _Seriously! That's just more than a little creepy. The way he opens up his trench coat and is always standing in some secluded ass place. And his voice! No thank you!_

I shut my eyes trying to shut out the imagery that was assaulting my brain doing nothing to help my frame of mind. Adding to that are the sounds, sounds I've never noticed before. Maybe that's because my room is at the back of the house and I'm not usually in here at this hour but it scares the hell out of me. I know realistically it's nothing more than a branch scratching against the windows but it doesn't help.

I curl up on the couch and hug my knees to my chest closing in on myself. It's comforting.

Forty-five minutes later I hear a car pull up and immediately my heart rate slows and I feel a sense of calm wash over me, knowing that Alice is here; she will help me. I get up from the dark living room and navigate my way slowly towards the front door.

She walks in slowly and I take in her appearance. She was wearing a long dark blue trench coat that swallowed her tiny frame which I knew meant that she was wearing her pajamas underneath. Her hair looked flawless, as though she had just come in from a night at the club or something. Her face was lightly made up with pink tinted lip gloss. It was so like her to never leave the house less than perfect.

She shrugs nonchalantly as she realizes that I am giving her a once over. I take her coat and put it away and immediately return to her.

I hug her to me and her honey and vanilla scent calms me further. She pulls me to the kitchen and pours us both a glass of milk.

We sit at the table in silence, she watching me intently and I studiously avoiding her gaze. Call me a coward but I am not ready to get into it just yet.

As if sensing my reluctance to talk about the reason she needed to come over in the first place she strikes up a conversation that nearly made me choke on my milk in surprise.

"So have you slept with Edward yet?"

"Alice!" I whisper as firmly as I could. "What the hell! Of course not. I just met him for crying out loud." As I say that I realize what it is she is inadvertently telling me in that statement. "You didn't! Alice! You and Jasper?"

Her eyes open widely and her mouth forms a thin hard line. I guess she wasn't ready for me to know yet.

"I never said that. Why would you think such a thing?"

"Because I know you. How you speak. And you just proved it to me with your reaction. When?"

"The night of his performance. When he came back to my room. I didn't mean to. It just happened you know? Do you think I'm wrong? Should I have waited? What if he thinks I'm nothing but an easy lay and stops calling?"

"Breathe! You did what felt right to you at the time. That's all you can do. Besides I'm sure he's spoken to you or seen you since. Am I wrong?"

She simply shakes her head. I smile at her.

"You really love him don't you?"

"Who said anything about love?" she laughs but I can see in her eyes that she's only joking.

"Yes. I do."

"I'm happy for you Ali."

"I know you are. So what about you and Edward? How's that going?"

"Slowly. But wonderfully. I really like him. He's even more perfect than I could have hoped."

She nods at me.

"So what's going to happen when he has to leave? I know you Bells, this could damage you."

"I know. And that scares me to death. How the hell can he come into my life and change it so completely, to the point where it hurts just thinking about him leaving? Does that make me pathetic?" I look at her from under my lashes, afraid to look at her full on and possibly see pity. I can handle any other reaction but pity.

"Bella. I know exactly what you mean. I think about that all the time because like Edward I have to leave pretty soon too. Jas has his life here and mine is back in California. What are we going to do?" She sighs heavily and I notice a twinkle in her eyes from unshed tears.

I move closer to her and hug her and feel my own traitor tears run down my face.

"I guess we're both pathetic then huh?" I say amidst our sniffling. She chuckles lightly and pulls away from our embrace.

"I guess we are. Come on let's get to bed. I don't know about you but sitting out here is not my idea of a good time at this hour of the morning."

I nod and lead her towards my bedroom. I take her small overnight bag, that I only just notice her carrying, and put it in my cupboard.

She sits on my bed and gestures for me to come sit next to her.

"So are we ever going to talk about the reason I'm here? Or are we going to continue to beat around the bush until one or both of us fall asleep?"

"Wow Ali. Jeez give me a minute to breathe will you?" I snap. I know it's a cheap shot but I need to maybe get her mad at me, which might make her drop the topic. I need to work up to that conversation but I am not ready yet.

"I'm sorry. Whenever you're ready, I'm here."

Twenty minutes later and I'm finally ready to talk.

I look over at her and notice that she's looking right back at me as though she sensed that I was ready.

"Why didn't they call me? Was I such a horrible daughter that I didn't even deserve a 'how was your flight' or 'we're here'? What should I have done to get them to want me? To love me…" A loud sob escapes my throat and, before I know it, tears stream down my face and I'm gasping for breath.

Alice holds me and the human contact helps keep me whole. I don't know what I would have done without her here with me, without her in my life. I would be nothing and no one. She takes my broken pieces and makes them whole.

"Bella. I honestly don't know what to say that you haven't heard or thought of for yourself. Your mom is a selfish woman who obviously doesn't care enough about anyone other than herself to think how her actions would have affected you."

My sobs get progressively louder at her words. I know I need to be quiet so as not to wake Rose but at this point there is little I can do to stop the cries from coming. I feel the soothing circles on my back and know that Alice is trying her best to calm me but it does little to ease the pain that I feel. I wrap my arms around myself feeling the gauging wound in my heart fester at the hurt that my mother caused all those years ago.

"I know Alice but that doesn't change how I feel. I just wish I could find her and tell her how much she's hurt me."

"And what do you think that will accomplish?" I know she's not asking to be insensitive but rather because she genuinely wants to know, but it still stings and I flinch a little.

"I honestly don't know. Maybe it might help get some of this hurt and hate off of my chest and I can finally be happy you know?"

"Maybe you're right Bells. Do you really want to find her? Or is this just some therapeutic thing where you can write a letter to her saying all that you want to say but never really mail it?"

"I'm not sure. Maybe a little of both?"

I yawn, suddenly feeling very exhausted. Not two seconds later and Alice lets out the biggest yawn I've ever seen from her.

"Bedtime?" I ask.

She nods.

We both lie on the bed and fall asleep within minutes.

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**I've been trying to upload _all _day! Jeez! But anyway it's up now...**

**let me know what u think...**

**I don't know how soon I'll be able to upload chapter 8. I have a mid-term still and three essays due so I'm swamped...so I hope this chapter would keep u for a while.**


	8. Bella, be mine

**Thank you for your patience!**

**I got three of my essays out of the way. I still have another presentation and my thesis to work on (this sounds like I'm complaining…hmmm) but I'm pushing through just because I know how long I've kept you waiting. I reallllly hope this chapter is worth the wait (even though it's kinda short)…so read on. ;D**

**DISCLAIMER: The use of any and all original persons and places are not done so for profit but simply for entertainment purposes and no disrespect is meant by its use. The characters belong to Stephanie Meyer but the plot is strictly mine.**

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Chapter 8

APOV

**The hours I spend with you I look upon as sort of a perfumed garden, a dim twilight, and a fountain singing to it. You and you alone make me feel that I am alive. Other men it is said have seen angels, but I have seen thee and thou art enough. ~ George Moore**

_Something's wrong._

I feel very unsettled, a feeling which is very atypical for me.

I am usually very perky and happy and never-endingly optimistic so this sudden wave of pessimism and unease that I feel worries me.

I know immediately that something is wrong with Bella. There is almost some psychic connection that we share where we know without a doubt when there's something seriously wrong with the other.

I pick up my phone, wipe the sleep from my eyes and dial the familiar number. She picks up on the third ring. And if I had any doubts before that something was wrong I know immediately that she was definitely not doing well at all.

When she explains to me what is going on with her I immediately throw some clothes and toiletries into an overnight bag, throw on my trench and hail a cab.

When she answers the door she looks pale, scared and a little disheveled it took everything in me not to just grab hold of her and let go. I didn't have to, she did it for me.

We talked about our men, anything not to deal with the issue at hand.

When I try to bring up the subject she snaps at me and I realize I pushed her. She wasn't ready to deal with it yet.

We eventually get to it and I feel like ripping her mother's throat out with my bare hands with what she's done to poor Bella. That woman has caused some serious damage and left her mess behind for everyone else to deal with. _Damn her to the darkest pits of hell!_

After Bella finishes crying we fall asleep.

X-X-X-X-X-X

The sound of an alarm clock wakes me. At first I'm a bit disoriented but as I look around the room some more and look at the person lying next to me on the bed it all comes back to me. _Poor, sweet, innocent Bella... Renee Dwyer will pay if it's the last thing I do I'll see to it that she does!_

Her small frame shifts as she wakes. Her right hand reaches up and turns off the alarm clock and ever so slowly her brown eyes peek out from under her lids.

"Morning" I say to her, unsure of what frame of mind she's in.

She smiles tentatively and whispers a good morning.

I have a long day ahead of me and I tell her so. We each get ready for the day and I kiss her cheek and leave.

_I really hope she'll be okay._

As I get into the cab my cell phone rings and by the ringtone I know it's Jas. The smile that is plastered on my face at that is so wide it almost hurts.

"Good morning darlin'" his Texan accent drawls in my ear and I blush profusely. He is the only guy that's ever made me blush. Blushing is more Bella's style but here I am face tinted pink all because of this man that I've known for the better part of one week. _Damn he's good!_

"Hey you. Good morning. What's up?"

"Nothing. I just wanted to hear your beautiful voice that's all. So what are your plans for today?" he asks.

"Ugh. It's going to be one long ass day. We have a million things to do and even more places to be. We're meeting with several designers and a couple students from the Fashion Institute. Then after that we have a couple classes to sit into. Lunch will be so quick I'm sure I won't even notice it. How about you?"

"Wow. I thought I had it bad. My day sounds like a breeze compared to yours. I just have a couple meetings and a few papers to sign then I'll be through. Well I'll leave you to it then. Hope you enjoy it at least. Bye darlin'."

"I'll try. Bye Jas. You enjoy your day too."

I hang up the phone and wish I could ditch today and just spend it with him. I think I love him. I really do.

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BPOV

**True friends are like evergreens, you won't know them till its winter- Barbara Taylor Bradford "****A Woman of Substance****".**

Waking up and seeing Alice's face first thing this morning made me realize that everything was going to be okay, I will be okay. _To hell with my parents!_

I know that I needed some more sleep but I can't afford to do so since I have three classes today.

I quickly pack my bag for class as soon as Ali left and call up a cab. My poor truck is out of commission but I haven't had the heart to get rid of it or God forbid replace it. I rather walk everywhere that I have to go than do that, at least for now anyway.

While waiting for the cab Rose walks into the living room. She looks radiant and peaceful but most of all she looks happy.

"Morning Bells. Can you do me a favor? When you're on your way back here can you pass by the office and pick up Tyler? He gets so restless in the office all day and I won't be able to really entertain him, I have so much to do today…will you be able to? I don't want to put you out?"

"Sure, no problem Rose. I remember the address so I'll just call you when I'm on my way up."

"Thank you so much Bella. So what time are you leaving again? Would you need a ride?"

"I already called a cab. I'm leaving as soon as it gets here. I should be able to pass for Tyler at around two. Would that be okay? We have a few make up classes so it's running a bit long today."

"That's fine. I'm about to go get ready to leave myself. Emmett is out cold. He doesn't have to go in for another few hours so he's gonna sleep in some more" she tells me as she turns to leave the room.

"Cool. Enjoy your day Rose, and I really hope the little one eases up on you today so you will be able to at least function normally today."

She turns to me and smiles, "I hope so too."

The cab pulls up to the campus and I let out a long breath. It's going to be a _long _day. I just know it.

I walk into my first class for the day, Modern American Literature with Professor Siobhan. She is a very colourful character who looks so out of place in such an academic setting. But despite her appearance her extensive knowledge of literature and her analytical skills are out of this world and after every one of her classes I am left in absolute awe of her.

I take up my regular seat at the back of the class, not wanting to draw too much attention to myself by sitting up front, and pull out my class supplies waiting for the class to start.

Not one minute later and in walks Professor Siobhan in a tie-dyed cotton dress that flows to the ground almost covering her leather sandaled feet. The classroom immediately becomes quiet. The respect which she commands is automatic and voluntary.

"Good morning class. I hope you all had a lovely weekend, full of fun times, but most especially full of studies. I don't want anyone flunking out of school due to too good of a weekend" she says as she levels a penetrative stare at us.

"So I told you last class that we'll be starting a new novel today. It is a teen romance novel, and before you begin your protests of the juvenile material that I have chosen I would have you know that this piece of work has been on almost every best selling chart and is critically acclaimed. Before we begin I'll give you a synopsis. The book was written by Stephen Meyer and is based in the sleepy and always wet town of Forks Washington. It follows the unorthodox romance that forms between a teenage girl and a centurion vampire. The book is a part of a four piece saga. Believe me it is worth the time it takes to read." With that said she hands out copies of the novel, Dusk, and I hear murmurs of recognition from some of my classmates.

As I get my copy I look at the rather simple, but lovely all the same, cover art. It displays a pair of hands holding onto a pomegranate.

"Okay so for today I need you to simply read the first chapter, that shouldn't take you more than forty five minutes, and write a short character sketch of the protagonist, Kristen Stewart. I know you won't be able to get a full view of Kristen but that's okay. For next class I would like you to read the first five chapters and have a sketch on the male lead, Robert Pattinson. I would also like an analytical piece on the relationship the two have in said chapters, five hundred words." _Great. Homework. Well at least it's not that complex so I can have that done pretty quickly._

I immediately get to work on the character analysis and am finished within the forty five minutes assigned for reading. I get up and walk to Professor Siobhan, hand it to her, and walk out.

The next class I have is not for another hour so I walk to the cafeteria which is not too far from my last class. I order a light lunch although it wasn't that long ago that I ate breakfast. _But, whatever, it's not like I'm on a diet or anything so who cares?_

After sitting for fifteen minutes bored out of my mind I take out my phone and send a text to Edward hoping I'm not interrupting anything.

_**Hiya. Could use some company right now ;D- B**_

His response is swift and it makes me smile.

**Hello beautiful. I wish I was there to be the one to keep you company. ****- E**

_**So**__**do I. So what are you up to right now? Hope I'm not distracting you from anything…- B**_

**No matter what you're always distracting me, Bella. But I wasn't doing anything so you're not interrupting anything. I was just sitting here in my hotel room trying to think of something other than calling you.- E**

_**I'm always distracting you? :/ Explain…- B**_

**Well you're allllllways on my mind, regardless. And I usually end up fumbling up what I'm doing or saying because you're in my head. Em constantly teases me about you…XD- E **

_**I'm sorry…- B**_

**What for? I'm not.- E**

_**You're not?- B**_

**Why would I be? It's better than having absolutely nothing in my head. At least this way it's a beautiful woman whose company I enjoy. ;)- E**

_**Haha. You and your flattery Mr. Cullen, I swear.- B**_

**Is it working?- E**

_**You have no idea ;P- B**_

**No, I actually don't hence my question ;D- E**

_**Is that sarcasm I detect?- B**_

**It very well may be…what of it?;P- E**

_**Hmmm…well I hope you can take just as much as you give…- B**_

**And more Ms. Swan, so much more ;)- E**

_**I most certainly hope so…- B **_

The smile on my face as I send my message is so big I'm surprised my cheeks haven't split from the effort of maintaining it. As I wait for his response I glimpse the time. _Shit! I'm going to be late for Professor Eleazar's class! _

I pack up my stuff quickly and walk as quickly as I can to the shuttle stop praying to every god I've ever heard of that that the shuttle is running today.

My phone beeps notifying me that I have a message.

**Haha. Don't worry, I'm a man of my word. ;)- E**

_**^_^- B**_

The shuttle pulls up in front of me and I scramble on. Just then another message comes and I realize my phone is still on loud. I quickly put it on silent and read Edward's message.

**So when's your next class?- E**

_**Ugh. I'm actually on my way now. It starts in the next fifteen minutes but it's on the other side of campus. I hate not having my truck **__**- B**_

**Aw. You poor thing.- E**

_I can almost see the smile on his face as he typed those words, the bastard._

**Whatever! You're not very nice. I'm upset by death of 'Old Faithful' and you're laughing at me. Humph. I have a mind to stop talking to you right now!- B**

**But you won't- E**

_Cocky bastard. The worse part of it thought is that I know he's right. Damn it!_

_**Oh shut up! Look I'm about walk into class right now. I'll be out in two hours…will you be free?- B**_

**For you? Always. ;D- E**

_**Stop! You're making me blush and people are looking at me like I'm some kinda freak…- B**_

**I apologize…ttyl?- E**

_**Definitely XD- B**_

I take my seat and prepare myself for the torture that is Professor Eleazar's Drama Theory II Class. _This man is so…ugh._

"Class" he barks at us demanding silence. The tension in the air is palpable, no one even dares breathing too loud for fear of incurring his wrath.

~1~1~1~1~1~

_Who knew two hours could take so long to pass?_ I loathe that class with a passion. I've always love drama but now I dread the classes. No one should be subjected to such a tense learning environment…who can learn that way? I mean honestly. You're always scared to say the wrong thing, or to miss anything. It's utterly ridiculous.

I walk briskly out of the class and pull out my phone once more. I have another hour between this and the next class, after which I have two tutorials and I'll be done. Thank God.

_**Still free?- B**_

**Like I said, for you always…- E**

_**You are going to give me one hell of an ego if you keep that up, you know that right?- B**_

**Do I honestly look like I care about that?- E**

_**Haha. Probably not. So what are you up to? I have another hour to kill…- B**_

**Well I was just looking over the proposal for the project. While you abandoned me for those two hours I ate and did some laundry.- E**

_**Come on now. Don't say it like that. I did not abandon you, I had no choice. If I did…- B**_

**If you did?- E**

_**Take a wild guess?- B**_

**You'd still leave me alone?- E**

_**Shoot! How did you know? I thought I hid it so well…sigh. I guess I'll have to try harder next time huh? ;P- B**_

**Ouch! No need to be cruel. A simple I don't feel the same way would suffice you know…- E**

_**Hmmm…I'll have to consider that next time…- B**_

**Next time? Oh no. I don't think I can handle another round of your special brand of cruelty…- E**

_**Believe you me Mr. Cullen, you have yet to experience my special brand of cruelty ;)- B**_

**Oh really…hmmm. Now I'm curious…- E**

_**Good!- B**_

**You don't play fair- E**

_**I never said I did ;P- B**_

**True- E**

_**So what are your plans for this afternoon? I'm stuck at home with Tyler, not that I mind really- B**_

**Not one thing. I had plans with Em, but he just called and cancelled…still want that company? *wiggles eyebrows suggestively* lol- E**

_**Mind out of the gutter Cullen! Lmao. But hell yes! *returns suggestive eyebrow motion with equally suggestive wink* hehe- B**_

**Yes ma'm! *swoons at suggestive wink directed his way* rotfl- E**

_**You're such a clown. Lmao. But on a serious note, do you seriously want to come over and keep me company. I'm pretty sure Tyler won't care either way…- B**_

**And spend un-chaperoned, uninterrupted time with you? Why the hell not? What time should I come over?- E**

_**Hmmm. I'm picking up Tyler from Rose's office around two thirty and then I'll be heading home… so anytime after three should be good.- B**_

**I'm counting down the hours…does that make me desperate?- E**

_**Haha. If it does then so am i…;)- B**_

**Cool. What time will Rose be home?- E**

_**I haven't the slightest idea. You said Emmett cancelled on you right? So she probably has plans with him, and in that case she'll be out for quite a while…- B**_

**I hope so…- E**

_**I swear… you're such a guy… lol- B**_

**Um…thank you?- E**

_**Since you can't see it I'll tell you, I'm rolling my eyes at you right now!- B**_

**What did I do?- E**

_**Not one thing…- B**_

**Well what would you like me to do?- E**

_**I can't tell you that over the phone…;P- B**_

**Woman you have no idea what you're doing to me right now!- E**

_**I'm pretty sure I do.- B**_

Just then I feel a tap on my shoulder.

_What now?_

I turn around and swallow the groan of irritation that threatens to spill from my throat.

"Hey Mike. What's up?"

"Bella, baby! How're you doing? I was just on my way to grab a bite to eat and I saw you."

_Ugh, he's so bloody annoying and obnoxious._

"Oh yeah?"

"Yup. So how 'bout it? You, me, lunch?"

"Nah I'm good. I already ate. You enjoy your lunch though…" _maybe that'll give him the hint that he's missed countless other times. Dimwit!_

"Well how about I bring back my lunch and keep you company?"

I sigh and respond "it's a free country Mike." Great! Now he's going to want to walk to class with me too. Bloody hell!

Mike Newton walks away from me with a huge smile on his face. As if he has a snowball's chance in hell with me! Psh. His short dirty blond hair is spiked and looks stiff and pointy. He is dressed in a way that is meant to look like effortless suave but he fails miserably. The dark wash jeans are unflattering at best and the blue shirt, which should have highlighted his eyes just made every vein in his overly buff arms show up instead. The boy is a mess.

In my musing I missed the notification from my phone that Edward responded but as I put my head down I notice the symbol flashing on my screen and I immediately get an idea.

I open my phone and read the message quickly, anxious to put my plan into action.

**Evil, torturous woman!- E**

_**Aw. You poor baby. I really wish I could say I'm sorry, but really I'm not. Hey can you do me a favor?- B**_

**Anything.- E**

_**Great! There's this guy who just can't seem to take the hint that I'm not interested so can you call me in the next five minutes?- B**_

**A guy? What is he doing?- E**

_**Nothing right now. He went to buy something to eat and he said he's coming back to keep me company. I know he's harmless but it's just bloody irritating you know?- B**_

**Uh huh…- E**

"Hey. I'm back. You sure you didn't want anything?"

"I'm good Mike." I look over at him and notice that he has a huge messy sandwich and cringe at the image my mind conjures of what I would look like after I finished eating something like that.

_**He's back. Call me?- B**_

"So who's that you're talking to Bella? Anybody I know?" _What the…? Is he serious?_

Luckily, before I could tell him to eff off, my phone rings. _Saved by the bell douche!_

"Hello beautiful" I hear the velvet voice of my savior say. I don't even have to pretend to be happy to hear his voice because I am. And of course, right on cue, my blush lights my face.

"Hi, sweetheart. It's so good to hear your voice" I know I'm pushing it but I hope that if Mike hears that he'll give up and find someone else to give his attentions to, someone more receptive than I.

"I can say the same, _darling_" he chuckles.

"So-"

"Bella…um…I'm gonna go. I'll catch up with you later okay?" Mike grumbles out and it's all I can do to not laugh out in relief.

"Yea okay Mike. Sorry about that Edward what were you saying?"

Before he even gets a chance to respond I notice Mike slink off looking dejected and I can't help but feel guilty for brushing him off so completely.

"Remind me not to get on your bad side beautiful. The poor guy probably needs to go in a corner somewhere to lick his wounds."

"Stop it. I feel bad enough as it is."

"You do? Why? It's his own fault. I know when to call it quits."

We talk for the remainder of my free time and even as I walk towards my next class for the day.

Professor Tanya Denali's Poetry Analysis class…

That woman's beauty intimidates me every time I see her. Her strawberry blond hair cascades down her back and her figure hugging suits can make a lesser mortal quake in her wake. _And I am a lesser mortal, that's for damn sure._

Class flew by without a hitch and I was soon on my way to my tutorial class for Dr. James Ridgeon's Linguistics and Syntax course. His classes always leave me desperate for a shower. His penetrative slate grey stare always seems to be focused on me every time I look up.

The final class for the day was my Creative Writing tutorial with Dr. Irina Denali who I absolutely adore, only slightly less than Professor Siobhan. She was nothing like her sister Tanya at all, except maybe in looks, because her beauty is undeniable. _It must be a genetic thing…_

She was much less cold and snide. She was always open and ready to listen. _Like I said, __nothing__ like Tanya._

"What do you want to eat when we get home Ty-Ty?" I ask the eager little toddler sitting behind me in his little car seat in his mother's car. I know he can't really answer me but I feel it's necessary to ask anyway.

"How about some apple slices and green pea purée? Does that sound good?" He simply looks up at me as though I'm not even speaking to him and then returns his attention to his stuffed rabbit in his lap. I shake my head at my own absurdity and glance at the cab driver idling next to me waiting for the traffic light to turn. _Is he laughing at me? Oh hell no…_

But before my temper could get the best of me my cell phone rings. _Should I pick it up? I am driving after all…and this is Rose's car not my indestructible truck…oh…it's Edward!_ My heart rate increases perceptibly. _I hope he's not calling to tell me he can't make it…_

"Hello beautiful. I was just calling to check if it's okay if I left the hotel to come over now." _So not cancelling…perfect!_

"Now would be perfect. I'm about two minutes away from the house. That should give me enough time to get Tyler settled at least."

"Great. Well I'll leave in the next five minutes to give you some time to get settled in yourself. How does that sound?"

"Even better" I chuckle.

"Well I'll speak with you soon. Be safe. Bye."

"I will. Bye."

We pull up outside the house and I remove Tyler's restraints from him and we get out.

Fifteen minutes later I am showered and dressed and Tyler is peacefully eating his meal. That was, without a doubt, the shortest shower in the history of ever, but it got the job done. I washed off all the grit of spending all day on campus which is all that I could ever ask for.

I stop feeding Tyler, well assisting his eating since he insists he must feed himself, and walk to the door. I had contemplated leaving it unlocked but that just didn't seem wise to me.

Standing on the front porch looking amazing and delicious, and any other adjective one can find to describe the beautiful specimen of human standing there, is my own personal heaven, Edward.

Before I can truly appreciate the sight in front of me my lips are attacked, not that I mind at all. The kiss is soft and slow, just a way for us to memorize the lips that we wish to claim as our own.

When we break I usher him inside and lock the doors.

"I was just feeding the little guy. Although he probably has more of it on him than in him…independence is kicking in strong…" I say after my body calms down enough to allow speech.

"Can I try? After all I'll need to do it when my niece or nephew arrives…" he says shyly. _Well this is new. I've never seen him anything but confident…_

"Sure. But I should warn you, he's not very fond of people feeding him. He likes to do it himself so if he lets you kudos."

Surprisingly Tyler hands over his little spoon to Edward and allows himself to be fed. _What the…this little child never ceases to amaze me…_

The smile on Edward's face is so bright I feel as though I'm basking in the rays of the sun.

With feeding time over the little tyke is ready to move. He struggles in his highchair to get down and begin his assault on the floor. Edward lifts him out and is rewarded with one of Tyler's signature giggles. Then the ball of energy darts of on his own business.

"He's so adorable. I hope my niece or nephew is just like that" he says.

"I don't doubt it" I return.

I clean up the mess left by Hurricane Tyler and Edward and I relocate to the living room where we can keep an eye on the little guy.

We talk about our plans for the rest of the week; it would seem that the busier I am the freer he is and vice versa.

"So the only time we'll be able to spend together is evenings?" I try to hide the disappointment in my voice but from the pained expression on Edward's face I know that I failed miserably.

"I'm afraid so."

Just then I notice Tyler's little body is curled up on the carpet sound asleep. How the hell did I miss that?

We relocate once more, in silence. I drop Tyler off in his nursery and Edward and I go to my room.

_Dangerous move Swan…_

"So how were your final few classes of the day?"

"They weren't so bad"

"Did that Mike guy give you a wide berth or does he still need to take a hint?" He tries to pass it off as a light statement but I notice a tension in his jaw that lets me know that he's very serious.

"He barely even looked in my direction for the entire lecture. And when I had to pass near to his desk to get to my seat it was like I had the plague or something you know? Ut was kinda strange him not sitting by my desk until the lecturer is ready to begin…"

"Strange? Is that good or bad?" His green eyes plead with me to be honest and I know I can't be anything but honest when it comes to Edward.

"Definitely strange good. I don't know how long it will last though…he's a tenacious bastard I'll give him that."

"Yea, well I'm a possessive bastard so his tenacity needs to be focused elsewhere as far as I'm concerned. I don't share!" he growls and with that his lips attach to my own and I'm lost to the world.

I don't know how it happens but I'm straddling Edward's waist but it just feels so right, so natural, that it feels as though I belong there. Being with him, like this is so comfortable. Our hands are everywhere but I want more.

* * *

EPOV

**Follow your heart, but be quiet for a while first. Ask questions, then feel the answer. Learn to trust your heart- Unknown**

This woman!

My Lord this woman…

I need to stop now if I have any chance if stopping at all.

She feels so perfect with her weight resting against me. Oh so perfect.

But I promised myself that I'd go slow. For her I'd go slow.

"Bella. We need to stop." Damn it! Not even my voice is willing to put up a fight. It comes out not as a request but as a small plea with no conviction behind it. I just hope she realizes just how much I need her to be the strong one here, because I don't think I have it in me…

It appears she hasn't heard me or she is studiously ignoring me because she continues rotating her hips above me and her hands…oh those hands.

"Please. i…we…please Bella. We need to stop, now. Or I won't have the strength or will to stop again…" and as I say the words I know that the truth of them would definitely ring through to Bella. She looks me in the eye, brown connecting with green and says "what if I don't want to stop?"

_Say what now!_

_

* * *

_

**Soooo? What do you think? Worth the wait? I really hope so…**

**I think Bella and Edward have certainly moved forward in their relationship and have definitely opened up some more to each other. Next chapter I'll try to throw in some family stuff…that's all I'm saying. If there's anything you want to see feel free to let me know either through a review or a PM. I don't bite, I promise ;)**

**Keep reading and I promise to keep writing ;~D btw i started a fb account for my ff readers. check it out. just search lunarskky21 at rocketmail dot com**

**Love ya,**

**Lunarskky ;^P**


	9. The past comes aknocking

Chapter 9

**EPOV**

_Say what now?_

"Are you sure?" I need to make absolutely sure before we go any further. I don't want her to have any regrets. I couldn't live with myself if she does.

In response her blush, which by now was lighting up every inch of her that I can see, turns almost crimson. She nods her head determinedly and her lips latch on to mine.

Right on cue the telephone rings.

_Bloody hell! Are you kidding me? This had better be good or I swear to God…_

"I have to get that" she tells me apologetically and I reluctantly let her go. As she slides off of my body my 'situation' only gets more prominent and uncomfortable.

_I need to calm down._

I think about my mom and her favourite television show 'Army Wives' on _Lifetime_.

I think about my grandmother showing me how to knit. _Poor woman never realized it was a lost cause._

Thinking about my grandmother makes me realize how much I miss having her around. Elizabeth Masen was a force to be reckoned with and I can only hope to be as strong as she was, someday. I think I'll pay her grave a visit as soon as I get back home.

"What are you thinking about over there? You're brow's all furrowed like your deep in concentration."

"My gran. I was thinking that I need to go to her grave site one of these days."

"Oh."

"I was only twelve when she passed. She had a peaceful death; she went to sleep the night before and never woke up."

"What was she like? If you don't mind my asking" her tentative voice asks.

"She was strong, independent, funny and absolutely no-nonsense. She had the thickest grey hair you've ever seen especially on a ninety five year old person.

"You miss her." It was not a question. She knows me so well already that she realized how much I miss my gran…despite me trying to play it down.

"Yes I do" I answer her honestly.

"We can talk about something else if you want?" she offers.

"We don't have to…but I am curious as to who called."

"Um…someone from my past."

I don't think I like the way she doesn't outright say who it is. It makes me anxious and even more curious to know who it was.

"Care to share?"

"You remember me telling you that I used to hang out with my dad's best friend's kids? Well it was Billy's, dad's friend, son. He just wanted to see how I was doing. We haven't spoken in ages so he just wanted to check in."

_I don't recall her mentioning that one of these 'childhood friends' was a guy._

My jaw clenches minutely as I struggle to hide my jealousy and possessiveness from her. _I can't let her see how much of a controlling bastard I am, how insecure I am and how much I want her to be mine. Just mine. I _do not_ share!_

"Jacob…huh."

"Yea. He's a great guy once you get to know him. He's a few years younger than me though. His sisters are the same age as me but we like different things, they liked dolls and I like breaking dolls… so I gravitated more to Jake whenever our dads went fishing. Everyone went home happy. Rachel got to keep her dolls and I got to run around in mud all day. Win-win really" she chuckles, trying to lighten the mood that my dark thoughts is casting on the room. But trying to be good for her I cling to the minute positive detail in this whole thing, he's younger than her. But with my luck that might just be by a few months. But something tells me that even if the margin were really that small she doesn't see this _Jacob_ character as anything more than a friend…a kid.

"Lucky Jacob…" _I envy that he got to spend time with her while she was growing up, becoming the woman that I lo- like, a lot._

_What the hell was I going to say? I've only known this woman for a few weeks and my brain is already trying to spew the most important word in a relationship? No! Hell no! I am so not ready for that yet. Besides if I admit that now I'll never be able to leave her…_

"Oh hush. Jake's harmless. I am grateful for him because, if not…well I would have had the loneliest summers ever. I haven't seen him in ages though. I miss him. He wants me to come down for his sister's wedding next weekend."

"So are you going?"

"I would really love to. It's just before exams though so I'm kinda skeptical about that."

"Think of it as a pre-exam cool down…" _why the hell am I encouraging her to go to this guy? Am I crazy? Jeez Cullen why don't you just wrap a bow around her and send a card to him while you're at it!_

I shake my head, but she doesn't seem to notice as her eyes have taken on this far away look. _I wonder what she's thinking._

"Yea…but it could also add some stress. If I go my dad'll be there and well…yeah…" _Oh right…I forgot about that lovely father-daughter relationship of hers._

"Well maybe that'll be the opportunity for your dad to come to his senses. You know unless you go."

"That's true. But I won't even have Alice there with me to give me strength…Edward…will you come with me?"

* * *

**BPOV**

Ugh. I hate waking up for class. But on the bright side today is my last day of lessons until exams start next week. _Woo Hoo!_

Time just seems to fly by now that I finals are looming. I seriously need to have a word with the man upstairs about that.

Edward left yesterday to go back to his life. It was absolutely devastating. But what made it worse was that Alice left that same day too.

I was a mess. Rose had to come home early to stay with me I was so out of it.

I felt lost. Like a planet without it's sun. I walked around the house aimlessly with Tyler looking up at me with confused eyes. _Poor kid._

Today…well today's going to be a challenge.

I drag my feet all the way into the kitchen and groan at how chipper Rose is.

"Morning Bells. All packed for the weekend? I really wish I could take some time off too."

"Yeah I am. Finally. Are you sure you're going to be fine without me? It seems like all I do lately is ditch you and shirk my responsibilities. It's a wonder you still employ, feed and shelter me. I have to be the worst nanny ever!"

"Oh would you stop being so dramatic. You are not. I can cope. It's the weekend…you have it off anyways. Besides you put up with so much from me and my two babies." I chuckle at the fact that she refers to Emmett as her baby. He kinda is a big kid in a man's body. Our hands were going to be full when the newest baby comes that much I know for sure.

Lectures ended quickly but considering that all we had to do was wrap up it's understandable.

When I get home with Tyler we settle in for our typical routine.

~twi~twi~twi~

The cab drops me off at the airport and I lug my carry-on bag through the mundane procedure of checking in.

The flight leaves in forty-five minutes so I grab a quick bite to eat in order to kill some time.

As soon as I finish my Philly Cheese Steak I hear my flight number being called. _Right_ _on time…way to go Swan!_

The flight is uneventful, as expected, and before I know it we're touching down at SeaTac.

I have nothing to declare so I move through the airport easily.

There, waiting for me as I exit the airport is Charlie. The tears well up in my eyes because, despite our shaky relationship, he still cared enough to come pick up his little girl, he was still my dad at the end of the day.

"Bella. How was your flight?"

"Hey dad. It wasn't too bad. Thanks for coming."

"Why wouldn't I? I'm your dad; it's what I'm supposed to do. Anyway," he clears his throat, slightly uncomfortable at the sudden turn in the conversation, and continues "the car's over there."

I groan as I notice it's the squad car. _Just great!_

The ride to Charlie's house is much like it was all those years ago when Renee deserted me. But I don't mind it much. The quiet gives me time to think and prepare myself mentally for what I know would be the longest weekend of my life.

"So how's school?"

His question breaks me out of my reverie so that it takes me a while before I register what he asked me.

"It's great. A lot of work but worth it."

"That's good to hear."

Just then my cell phone goes off and from the ringtone I know immediately that it's Edward.

"Hey."

"Hi beautiful. I was just calling to see if you got in okay."

"Yea. I just got in. We're on our way to Forks right now."

"How'd he take the news?"

How do I answer him without tipping Charlie off? _Great._

"Bella?"

"Um…"

"Oh. You didn't tell him yet? Well you know you're going to have to soon right? Because I'll be driving down in about five hours time and I don't think you want him to get a heart attack. And I'd kinda like some forewarning if he's not okay with the idea…"

I groan because I know he's right. _How unfortunate._

When I look over I notice Charlie trying to inconspicuously listen in on my conversation. He must have heard the deep timbre of Edward's voice and realized that it was not Alice I was talking to.

"You're right. Hey can I call you back?"

"No problem Bella. I'll see you soon. Bye."

"Yeah, bye."

_And now for the conversation I have been dreading since I asked Edward to come with me to this stupid dreary in the middle of nowhere town. Okay so I don't exactly mean that. I love Forks. It's so different to anywhere that I've lived with Renee, so different to New York too. It's friendly, it's not hot and sticky and dry and its colourful. But I'm not in a good mood, so therefore Forks, you suck! Humph._

"Hey dad?"

"Yea Bells?"

_Well, see, here's the thing. You know how we haven't been talking for oh I don't know six months? Yea well, to avoid the awkward tension I invited a guy to come stay with us for the weekend. A guy who I might add I'd really love to be the one to 'de-flower me' as you'd put it. But don't worry that doesn't mean that you won't absolutely love the seven or so hours of alone time we'll have before he comes and breaks up the lovely father daughter bonding time. So can he stay?_

_Of course he can honey?_

_Oh really dad? You're the greatest!_

_Psh. Yeah right._

"Um…nevermind."

_Yeah, yeah I know I'm a coward. So sue me, but I am not about to piss of Charlie while he's behind the wheel of a vehicle. I like the idea of being alive thank you very much!_

"Ok kiddo. Whenever you're ready…you know where to find me" and with that the rest of the car ride was silent.

~twi~twi~twi~

_Okay. I think I've stalled long enough. I have nothing left to distract me from it. I'm unpacked. I showered. I ate and I even checked in with Rose _and_ Alice. _

_I have to do this. Now._

_Damn._

I walk out of my room and down the stairs towards the living room where I know Charlie would be sitting in front of the television watching some sports game or the other.

"Hey Bells." _Huh. Usually he's so caught up in his games he doesn't even remember I'm here let alone recognize my presence in a room._

"Hey dad. Can I talk to you for a minute?"

In response he pats the space next to him on the couch.

_Here goes nothing._

"Um…I was just wondering if it'd be okay if someone comes to stay with us for the weekend? In the spare bedroom?" _I figure blurting it out is the best way to do it._

"And would you have happened to invite this 'someone' already so if I were to say no it would be extremely rude of me and inconvenient for them?"

"Maybe?" I swallow audibly because I honestly did not factor that in as an issue. I was too worried about the fact that he'd have a conniption over the fact that it's an adult red-blooded human male I was inviting over to sleep one room away from his innocent daughter.

"Bells…"

"Before you say anything just know that he's-"

"He? You never said anything about this being a 'he'" he grumbles.

_Oh boy. Here we go._

"Well I was going to mention it" I say and then mumble "after you said yes" quickly under my breath.

"When'll he get here?"

"Oh thank you daddy!"

"Hold on now. I never said yes now did I?"

"Oh. Well um, he…he's driving over from Seattle. He said he was leaving there at around three so he should be here by eightish?"

"And what's his name? Tell me about him; considering he is going to be spending an entire weekend with me I should know something about him. Besides if you felt the need to have him accompany you this weekend he's obviously someone important."

"His name's Edward Cullen. He's studying to become a doctor and I have known him for exactly two weeks. But I promise he's a great guy. Rose, the girl I live with, her boyfriend and Edward are brothers. That's how we met. I really like him daddy so try not to be too hard on him."

"And how old is he?"

"He's only twenty-three dad. No need to go postal."

"Twenty-three…a two year age difference? I guess that's not too bad. So what kind of doctor is he studying to be?"

"Well he's still deciding but it's a tossup between peds and surgery. He loves kids, they love him but he's also very good with his hands."

He shifts uncomfortably on the chair and clears his throat causing me to blush.

"I didn't mean it like that dad. I just meant that he cooks and does stuff around the house. That's all."

"What do you mean he does stuff around the house? He lives with you?"

"No dad. He lives in Seattle with his parents. He helps his mom out. And before you ask what kind of man still lives at home with his parents at age twenty-three he lives there because his mom gets lonely when his dad works the grave yard shift at the hospital and so he keeps her company. That's all."

"Humph" he grumbles and I know that that means he has nothing left to say.

"I'm gonna go call him and tell him it's okay."

"I'd like to have a word with him myself if you don't mind."

"Just, be nice okay?"

"Always am baby girl" he responds sweetly. _Sure Charlie, and my name is Queen Isabella and I'm married to King Ferdinand._

I quickly pull out my cell phone and dial the familiar number. I could have simply pressed two on speed-dial but Charlie would have picked up on that and that would lead to too many questions.

"Hey beautiful."

"Hey you."

"Your dad's right there isn't he?"

"Yup. Hey um my dad wants to talk to you."

I hear the audible gulp in my ear and I know that he'd probably be running his hands through his hair nervously. _Poor guy. I feel for you._

"Edward?"

"Um…yeah. Right. Put him on."

I hand the phone to Charlie with a pleading expression on my face.

Charlie's gruff voice tells the velvet voice of Edward hello and I leave the room, too nervous and anxious to sit and hear the conversation.

An excruciating thirty minutes later finds me pacing the threadbare purple rug in my room. Soon Charlie calls up to me. With great trepidation I walk down the stairs to see Charlie standing at the landing waiting for me, hand outstretched offering my cell phone to me. He looks fairly calm but I know for a fact that when it comes to Charlie there could possibly be a storm brewing below the surface of a calm exterior.

For the first time since I saw him waiting outside the airport for me I finally observe the man standing in front of me. His hair is graying at the sides leaving him with the distinguished look only a man can achieve with grey hair. His moustache, which I always found amusing as a kid, only holds fond memories now. It too adds to the distinguished look. But what brings me to the brink of tears with respect, love and slight hurt is the appearance of laugh lines around his eyes and worry lines on his forehead. It hurts because I know that, despite my absence in his life he still had the time to laugh, to live while my life has been nothing more than a reflection of what it used to be, without the love of my parents to fill it. But what hurts more than that is the fact that I had some part to play in the existence of his worry lines. I caused Charlie pain because of my stupid, stubborn choice to become a nanny. If I had just listened when he told to me to find something else he would not have those ridiculous lines etched onto his face. Anger, greater than I've ever felt before floods through me at this thought; anger at myself for hurting him and also for allowing myself to be hurt by him again; but mostly I feel anger at him for disregarding my wishes as nothing more than an errant thought. _How dare he make me feel this way? So small and insignificant because I am doing something that makes me happy? He has no right!_

I take the phone from his hand and storm into the kitchen, my one place of solace. I put it to my ear and immediately my anger dissipates.

"Hey beautiful."

"Hi Edward. It's so good to hear your voice."

"What do you mean? We were speaking not a few moments ago. What's wrong? You sound tense."

"Nothing. I'm fine now. So what did you guys talk about? He wasn't too hard on you was he?"

"Nah, I'm good. He was just setting the ground rules. You know the usual, keep your hands off my little girl and where I can see them at all times. No locked doors. Clothing must remain on at all times in your presence. Or else."

"Typical. Let me guess he mentioned his shot gun right?"

"He has a shot gun?" I can hear the panic in his voice and I immediately curse myself for mentioning anything.

"Well he is the Police Chief…"

"Yeah… right. Sure."

"Edward are you okay? You sound weird."

"Just peachy. Hey um…can I call you back. I need to reattach my spine to my body and maybe a pacemaker might help too."

"Aw. He's harmless I promise." _Well he's mostly harmless but I'm not about to scare you anymore than you are right now…_

"Sure…" he says, sounding rather unconvinced. _Oh well, I tried._

I hear a cough somewhere behind me signaling that Charlie wants to talk.

"Hey Edward?"

"Yea."

"My dad wants to talk to me. I gotta go okay. See you soon?"

"Sure no problem. I'll see you shortly anyway. I'm about to hit the road. Bye Bella."

"Bye. Drive safely okay?"

"I will."

I hang up and turn towards the offending figure behind me.

"So he's on his way then" his gruff voice asks.

"Yup" I reply, using only absolutely necessary words. No need to prolong this conversation.

"Well the guest room's already set up so he should be fine. Sounds like a nice kid. You did good Bells."

"Thanks dad."

"I don't understand why you felt the need to bring him though." He sounds almost hurt at the fact that I felt the need to have a buffer.

"I just didn't want to go to the wedding by myself that's all" I lie.

"Uh huh."

"So what's the plan for tonight?"

"Well I invited the Blacks over. I thought that would be fun, for old time's sake."

"Cool. What should I make?"

"You don't have to you know. We can always order something."

"It's fine dad."

"Well in that case I have some of Harry Clearwater's fish fry in the freezer so you can make something to go with it."

"Yum. I haven't had that in ages. How're Harry and his family doing?" I ask, genuinely interested.

"They're doing good. Leah is a bit…well you'll see for yourself on Sunday. Seth is such a good kid. He has a bright future ahead of him yet."

"That's good to hear."

"Well I'll leave you to get to it then. Call me if you need me. I'll be watching..." but he never finishes his sentence already halfway to his recliner and his beloved television. I sigh at the fact that he pays more attention to stupid sports than he does to his own flesh and blood daughter. _I mean you would think that he'd be more interested in spending time with me since he hasn't seen or spoken to me in so long but no. That's too much to ask._

I easily forget my pain however as the relaxing process of cooking engulfs me.

When I finish making the lasagna and green salad I hurry up stairs to shower and get ready for dinner.

As I walk down the stairs my cell phone rings.

"Hey Edward."

"Hey beautiful. I was just calling to let you know that I just passed the sign welcoming me into Forks."

"Really? Wow. That was kinda fast. You must have sped like crazy."

"I did drive a tad bit faster than normal, but that's only because I wanted to see you. Pathetic right?"

"No. Extremely sweet." My blush covers my face and of course Charlie chooses that exact moment to pay attention.

He grunts his disgruntlement but doesn't say anything.

"But as the daughter of the Police Chief of Forks I have to say that you are in big trouble mister. Speeding and talking on your phone while driving? Very bad."

"Are you going to punish me?"

"Edward!" I chastise but a giggle slips out regardless of my efforts to sound stern.

"Yes Isabella?"

"Just hurry up and get here. I'm going to hang up now because you shouldn't be distracted while operating heavy machinery."

"Really? Well that means I can't do a lot of fun stuff most of which I'm sure you'd enjoy…" he says suggestively. My blush hits nuclear.

"Goodbye Edward."

"Bye Bella."

Just before I hang up I hear his amused laughter and I shake my head at his ridiculousness. _He is such a guy._

"I take it that was boy wonder?" Charlie asks, clearly very unimpressed by my little display. _What the hell ever, I'm in a bloody good mood so I could care less what he thinks!_

"Yea. He's almost here. Aren't you going to go get ready for dinner? What time are Billy and Jake and they getting here?"

"Oh! I didn't realize it was so late. I'll be back." He hurries up the stairs to the bathroom.

While Charlie was still primping for his best friend I hear an engine pull up and my heart flutters.

The grin on my face as I open the door falls as I see, not Edward as I'd hoped but, the Blacks instead.

"Bella! That's no way to greet someone you haven't seen in ages! Where's that brilliant smile of yours?" I hear a decidedly very male voice say.

The owner of the voice however renders me speechless.

"Jacob? What the hell? You've grown into a giant! Where's the skinny little boy I used to know?" I look over the figure in front of me trying to reconcile him with the image of the past. His face hasn't changed except to become more chiseled, signaling his move into adulthood. He is thoroughly muscled, not as much as Emmett but it suits him, unlike Mike Newton. His black tee hugs his muscles perfectly and his posture is that of someone who knows they are attractive and is not afraid to flaunt it. His hair, which used to be shoulder length, thick and black, is now cropped short. Though I miss the length I decide that this cut suits him too. _He's grown into quite the man; eighteen makes him officially an adult after all. He probably has no problem in the love department looking like that that's for damn sure!_

"He's grown into a man Bells."

I hear a snort from somewhere behind him as he says this. I look towards the direction it came from and my eyes tear up when I see who it came from.

I run to the old Quileute man sitting in his shiny wheelchair. His long salt and pepper hair is pulled back in a hair tie. He, just like Charlie, prefer the plaid shirt and jeans uniform of men who fish for fun. But despite this however the familiarity of his appearance reverts me into the child who used to tag along with her dad every summer.

"Billy!"

"Hey Bella. It's so good to see you again!"

"Hey! I didn't get such a warm reception and I've been friends with you for forever!"

"Oh shut up Jake! I missed you too Billy. How've you been?"

"Tired and old."

I laugh for the first time today.

"You may be tired but you're certainly not old. Come on in you guys. Where're the twins?"

"Doing girly almost married people stuff" responds Jake obviously not as offended by the fact that his father got a warmer reception than he did, as he tried to appear earlier.

I laugh again. I missed them so much.

"What can I get you to drink? Ch- Dad's upstairs getting ready."

"A beer for me Bella. Jake'll have a soda. He's not of age yet."

"Dad!"

I look at Jake and notice he looks mortified that his dad brought up his tender age. _As if I would forget. I mean sure he's built like a machine and almost as tall as Edward but his face shows his youth. _Try as he might to physically look older his face can never hide his true age.

When I return with their drinks Jake asks me if I'm expecting someone.

"Why'd you say that?"

"Well for one the way your face fell when you noticed it was just us who arrived. And the fact that you keep looking towards the front door like it holds all the answers to life…"

"Oh. Sorry" I respond sheepishly. "Yeah. I'm expecting my- someone." _What exactly is Edward to me anyway?_ We've never really put any handles to what we have and so now I have no idea how to introduce him.

"No problem Bells. So what's the big city like?"

We sit and talk for a few minutes relaying stories of our respective homes. Charlie and Billy go sit in front of the television, to gossip like two little old women no less.

Then I hear it.

The sound of another engine.

I fly out of my chair so fast that Jake falls off of his own in shock.

"Oh Jake. Are you alright? I'm so sorry" I say before continuing on my way to my heart.

I open the door and my breath rushes out of me as I take in the image in front of me. He is wearing the green shirt he wore on the first day that we kissed. And his long lean legs are clad in black slacks. His hair is beautifully windblown and his famous crooked smile is plastered on his face. Just for me.

He leans in and kisses me and I lose myself in him. That is until I hear the annoying cough coming from somewhere behind me.

I break away from my prince and, blush intact, turn towards the intruder.

_Shit! Charlie._

The death glare he is sending Edward's way makes even me nervous.

I hear Edward audibly swallow behind me. I squeeze his hand to offer comfort, support and reassurance.

"Dad, this is Edward. Edward, this is my dad, Charlie Swan."

Dad mumbles out his greeting and gestures for Edward to come in.

As we get through the door I realize how silent it is. The TV is off and Billy and Jake are just sitting there.

"Edward this is Billy Black, my dad's best friend, and Jacob, his son."

He shakes both their hands but I notice when he shakes Jake's, Jacob flinches slightly. _Great. Now he's back into his stupid 'Jake's a threat' mode._

"Shall we eat?" I ask trying to break the palpable tension. _Too much testosterone in one room. Where is Alice when you need her?_

I usher the men into the dining room of my childhood home and feel myself relax when they each take their seat and calmly await the next step.

"Edward can you help me get the food?" _I think the best thing to do to ensure that nobody kills anyone else is to get the red flag away from the raging bulls._

"Sure."

We walk to the kitchen and Edward captures my lips in his own.

When we break away his face breaks into a grin and he says "Hi."

I laugh so hard I begin to tear up.

"What's so funny" he asks me with a smile on his face.

"It's just that, after a kiss like that, 'hi' just seems so anti-climactic don't you think?"

He nods in agreement.

"Nonetheless, hello Edward." I tip toe and kiss him once more.

Then we carry the food out to the dining table.

"I was just about to come see if you two got lost in their" Charlie says.

"Ha ha. Very funny dad. Dig in everyone."

Dinner is fairly silent. I am the only one trying to converse with everyone. Dad was purposefully ignoring Edward and as such Billy, being the good best friend that he is, was dutifully ignoring him as well. Jake and Edward were throwing daggers at each other. _This is going to be one long ass weekend._

Thankfully dinner concludes without anyone dying and we say bye to Jake and Billy. Too bad I still have to deal with the Charlie-Edward situation.

"So you're the guy who my daughter speaks so highly about huh."

"I guess so."

"Well it's nice to put a name to a face. Glad to meet you Edward."

"Same here Mr. Swan."

"So Bells tells me you want to be a doctor."

"Yup."

_This awkward conversation is too much. It has to be stopped!_

"Dad, if you're done making your guest uncomfortable I'd like to show Edward around."

"Sure Bells."

I take Edward's hand and lead him up the flight of stairs being careful to avoid the squeaky stair.

"We only have one bathroom. So, sorry about that, in advance. That one over there is Charlie's room. This one's mine right here. And this one opposite it is yours."

We enter the guest room which would serve as his room for the weekend. It is painted in a neutral yellow with dark blue sheets and Victorian period furniture. Except for the bed, armoire and one chaise lounge however the room is pretty bare so that it was up to the guest to decorate in the event of an extended stay.

"So what's your room like?"

"Pretty much the same as this one except with a desk and a dresser. Oh and the walls are lilac. Want to see?"

"Um…what about your dad?"

"What about him?"

"Ok sure."

We walk out of his temporary room and into my childhood one. He walks into the essentially very purple room.

"I take it you like the colour purple."

"I do."

The bedding is a deep, almost eggplant, shade of purple. My rug is amethyst and my curtains are wisteria. The furniture however is black. My room as a result looks like some sort of dark gothic area except for all of the light coming in through the bay window and the different coloured pillows and cushions in various areas throughout the room.

"What do you think? Bear in mind that I was sixteen and highly depressed and emotional when I designed it okay."

"It's really nice. It looks very expressive. But also very you…somehow. I like it."

"Thank you."

"So what did you do all day?"

"Nothing. Hid out in my room like the coward that I am until I had no choice but to tell him that you were coming. Then I hid out in the kitchen with the excuse of cooking dinner. The rest is pretty much history. How was your day?"

"Let's just say it's a good thing my father is the Chief of Surgery otherwise I would have had my ass handed to me on a silver platter for all the time I've missed, am missing."

"Ouch. I'm sorry. So it's been a long day huh. Do you want to get some rest?"

"It's been one of the longest days of my life but the only thing that made it bearable was knowing that, at the end of it all, I was going to see you."

"You already have me Edward there's no need to plead your case" I tease.

"I'm simply stating the facts, no pleading. By the way you are very good at giving directions. Everything was just as you said it would be, precisely."

"I am the daughter-"

"Of the Police Chief of Forks, so I heard. I guess with a police officer for a father you would have certain survival skills."

"Giving directions I can do. Don't ask me to give bearings though. I'm useless when it comes to navigating the woods. I got lost so many times while here it's unbelievable. One time Charlie had to organize a search party for me. All the men from the area and from down on the reservation came out and searched. When they found me I was just off the path behind our house. Dr. Gerandy said I was in a semi-catatonic state from the shock and stress of not being able to find my way out. For weeks after that people would leave guide maps of Forks and little compasses everywhere for me. It was horrible."

I could see that he was trying his best not to laugh at me and I respect his efforts.

"You got lost in your own backyard? Well that's a first."

"Oh shut up! The woods aren't exactly your typical backyard setting okay. It's not my fault that everything's so bloody green out there. It all looks the same!" I huff indignantly.

"Point taken."

"Bells I-"

Edward and I shoot off of my bed as though it had suddenly caught on fire. Charlie's face was slowly moving from its normal pale colour to a sturdy red. Red I could handle, purple and I would be running as fast as my two left feet would let me.

"Hey dad. What's up? We were just talking no need to panic."

"Right." He clears his throat and continues, "Well I'm off to bed. Not too late you two."

"Yes dad." _The_ _man seems to forget that we are both over the age of eighteen making us quite capable of setting our own bedtimes. Oh well._

Before he leaves us he shoves the door open even wider as if to say _'no funny business!' As if we could forget his rules._

"Your dad doesn't like me does he?"

"No, that's not it. He doesn't like the fact that you are of the male persuasion…besides what's there not to like?"

"Sure. If you say so. Let's call it a night. I don't want to give your dad any reason to break out that shot gun of his…"

"Aww, but I don't want to go to sleep just yet. Besides I was enjoying your company very much."

"And I yours but I had an early start this morning and I'm afraid I won't be very good company pretty soon. I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you, I promise."

"Fine. It better be worth my while. "

"Oh I guarantee it will be."

He kisses me good night and leaves for his room.

~twi~twi~twi~

I wake up to the smell of bacon.

_What the-?_

_Charlie does not cook so that could only mean that Edward is cooking…_

I rush through my morning ritual, no need to subject anyone to my dragon breath this early in the morning, and run down the stairs, something I missed doing.

"Mmm, that smells so good."

"Good morning to you too" he responds amidst his chuckling. I blush.

"Sorry. Good morning Edward."

"Would you like me to fix you a plate?"

"Yes please" I say eagerly.

Charlie walks into the kitchen expecting to see me behind the stove so when he notices me seated at the breakfast bar he stops short.

"Morning" he mumbles and takes his spot next to me slightly stunned.

"Good Morning, sir" Edward responds and I simply mumble hey.

Edward fixes three plates and sits on the opposite side of the breakfast bar and we begin breakfast. I thought it would be just as silent as dinner last night but surprisingly Charlie strikes up a conversation.

"So Edward, what kind of sports are you into?"

"I'm American therefore what other sport is there besides baseball?"

"How right you are. So which teams do you follow?"

"Well I haven't had much time recently. Studying keeps me pretty preoccupied and when I'm not stuck at the hospital I'm stuck helping my mom with her charity work."

"So how exactly did you get to meet Bella then?"

"Well I was on a business trip for my mom's charity and I was on my way to visit my brother at his new girlfriend's house and Bella sort of fell into my life."

The death glare I sent his way effectively stopped his smug ass from laughing.

"Well that sounds about right. That girl is so accident prone it's a wonder she doesn't have a permanent body cast on her."

"Dad!"

"What? I'm being honest sweetheart. It seemed like every month we needed to carry you into the emergency room and during the months you were always nursing some wound or other."

"Have I mentioned lately how much I dislike you both?"

"Aw Bella don't be like that" Edward pleads.

Charlie simply adds "Bells you know that if you did hate us you'd be locked up in your room denying us your presence."

"Ugh."

"I love you too baby girl."

"Sure, sure."

"I haven't heard that phrase in so long. I remember when you and Jake used to say that to everything Billy or I would tell you." Edward's fork clinks his plate at the mention of Jake's name but Charlie takes no notice. "Which one of you started saying it first though?"

"Jake. It kinda just grew on me and one day I started saying it."

"You two kids were like two peas in a pod. Then that fireball Alice came along. How is she by the way. She's been neglecting me. Tell her I don't take it personally though, I know she doesn't want to associate with an old crony like me."

"Haha. I'll be sure to pass on that message."

"Alice is quite the handful isn't she?" Edward muses and Charlie nods his head in agreement.

I move to take the dishes away and wash them but Edward stops me.

"I cooked therefore I clean up."

"Are you sure?"

"Extremely."

"Alright."

"Thank you for breakfast Edward. Bells can I have a minute?"

"Sure dad. I'll be right back Edward."

We walk out the back door. _I guess he doesn't want Edward to overhear this conversation._

"What's up dad?"

"I can respect the fact that you two are adults and can therefore make your own decision. But I just wanted to tell you that if you two feel the need to…uh…show each other…to physically-"

"What? No! Dad, please don't. Stop!"

"No, I need to say this. I won't have my daughter-"

"Dad, I assure you that that is not necessary."

"Yes it is Bella. I know that things aren't the way it was when I was growing up. People don't wait until they're married anymore. I know that. I'm not naive enough to think that you two aren't having sex just because I want it to be so. But I won't allow-"

"Dad! Please. Just stop and listen to me for one minute! I AM A VIRGIN okay? So there'll be no fornicating under your roof! I guarantee it."

"Oh. Good. Well…um…good talk. I'll be down with Billy today. We're-"

"Going fishing, got it."

I walk back inside, completely mortified and red, from the most awkward and disturbing conversation I have ever had with Charlie in my life.

"What did your dad…Are you okay? You're red all over. "

"I really, _really_ don't want to talk about it okay. Charlie's going fishing so we'll be alone all day."

"Okay. So what's the plan?"

"Well how about I show you around Forks?"

"Cool. I'll go get dressed."

~twi~twi~twi~

"Hello?"

"Hey Bells!"

"Oh, hi Jake. What's up?"

"Nothing much. Dad wanted me to invite your _friend _over so he can hang out with some guys. Something about Charlie wanting some quality father daughter time."

"Oh. Ok cool. I'll go tell him. Are you coming up to get him or do I need to give him directions?"

I hear mumbling in the background and then he comes back on the phone "I'll be there in about forty five minutes. That should give him enough time to go through his beauty routine right?"

"Jacob Black stop that this instant. Or so help me I will-"

"I'm sorry Bells. I'll be there soon okay?"

"Bye."

"Bye."

I rush back to the living room to tell Edward. He doesn't seem especially excited about spending time with Jake, but from Jake's snide comments, neither did Jake.

He goes up to get ready.

As he said he would, Jake arrives in forty five minutes time. I kiss Edward goodbye just as Charlie walks in.

"So how was your day baby girl?"

"It was great. I gave Edward a tour of the town. He let me drive his Volvo. It runs like a dream!"

"I bet it would."

"How was your day? Did you catch anything?"

"Yeah we had a few bites. They're down at Billy's. We're eating there tonight."

"Oh. Ok."

We walk towards the living room and true to form Charlie puts on a baseball game.

_Some quality time this is…_

My cell phone rings sometime in between the stupid game and I perk up. _Edward._

"Hey beautiful. I finally broke free. Help me. All this male bonding is going to leave me exhausted!"

"Aw, you poor thing. What are they making you do?"

"Well it's not all bad. We played a game of baseball but now they want to play basketball and after we're going hiking. I told them I was going to use the bathroom and I called you."

"Haha. Well I'm sure you'll live. I'll give you a massage when you get back." I whisper the last part so that Charlie doesn't hear.

"You promise?"

"Yes."

"So how's your bonding time going?"

"What bonding time."

"What do you mean?"

"We're watching baseball, that's what I mean."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

Charlie reaches out and traps a tear I did not know I shed from my face. I didn't even realize he was paying attention to me.

I guess sometime during my conversation with Edward he must have turned off the television because now it's off. The eerie silence in the rooms only leaves me unsettled.

"Bella?" I hear Edward's voice say but I can't respond. I somehow lost my ability to do anything but stare at the man seated next to me on the couch.

He reaches towards me, holds me and whispers in my ear.

"It's okay baby girl. I love you, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

Instead of calming me however, all his words do is cause me to breakdown even more.

"Please don't cry Bells. Please. Everything is going to be okay. Please."

I hear him mumble something into my phone and it's only then that I remember that Edward was still on the line waiting for me.

After however long I finally stop crying. My eyes are red and Charlie's shirt is soaked.

Charlie rubs soothing circles on my back.

"I don't know what came over me. I'm sorry" I tell him. One minute I was talking to Edward, relatively happy, the next I'm a crying mess.

"This was supposed to be the time we spent with each other, no hurt, no anger, no pain, just peace. I guess I messed it up because, instead of spending time finding out how my daughter's life has been since I last spoke to her, I sat and watched a baseball game. I guess I've hurt you even more than I thought, and I'm sorry baby girl. I really am."

"I just wanted to sit and have a civil conversation with you dad. That's all I wanted. Instead I get a baseball game. I don't even like baseball!"

"I know. And again, I'm so sorry. I just…I didn't know how to spend time with you so I resorted to what I know, and that's sports."

"I know that. So I don't understand why I just broke down like that. There was no reason to."

"I think I can hazard a guess and all I can say is I truly am sorry baby girl. I do love you, and no matter what, I'll always be proud of you. You should know by now that you shouldn't listen to the ramblings of an old man. I just wanted you to do what _I_ felt was best for you without taking into consideration what you wanted for yourself. I do want to say though that Edward is a good man and he clearly feels very strongly for you. He helped me realize that I've been holding you back because of my stupid prejudices. I love you Bells and I want you to be happy, so be happy okay? Go ahead and be a nanny for as long as you see fit, I won't hold you back any more."

The tears fall from my eyes once more and I hug him fiercely.

"I love you daddy and all I've ever wanted to do was make you proud of me. Thank you. It means a lot to me to know that you're okay with what I'm doing. Rosalie is a really great person; you'd love her if you ever met her. And Tyler's such an amazing baby. He'd have you wrapped around his pinkie finger in no time" I chuckle.

Relief floods through my veins at Charlie's approval, something I never knew I was searching for.

* * *

**Okay so here it is! Yay! (sorry abt the lack of quotes)**

**So I finished my essays and my presentation…the only thing left is that thesis…who wants to write it for me?**

**Anyway with those things out of the way we head into exam mode so updates might be even MORE scarce than before so I apologize in advance for any wait…**

**Did you like it? Was the chapter worth the wait? Let me know? I'm dying to hear your opinions. Tell me what you thought about the little interruption Bella and Edward had in the beginning of the chapter? Was it a good interruption? I hope so…besides Bella's not ready to take that step with Edward just yet… I mean they've only known each other for a little while. Damn a lot has happened in the, what two weeks (?), that Edward was in New York for…wow. I apologize. I guess I should probably speed it up some now, huh? Oh and I honestly couldn't remember if I mentioned his age…oops? Lol.**

**Wow long A/N…my bad. Anyway leave me a review and u just may get a sneak at my next chapter. Oh btw I want to write a HP drabble involving Hermione and James Potter…odd combo I kno but let me kno if that's something u'd be interested in. **

**Lunarskky ;D (don't forget to add me on fb to get firsthand news on when the chapters are coming… check my profile for the link)**


	10. Weird dreams and simple comfort

**Here you are. Chapter ten… Enjoy! **

**BPOV**

**Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts- Arnold Bennett**

Knowing that I have Charlie's support feels like a lead weight has been lifted from my shoulder.

We sit and talk about the newest developments in our lives. I don't know how much time passes but I do know that it feels good to be talking with Charlie again. I've missed this. I've missed being able to share things with him.

I hear the door open and so I turn towards the noise.

"Bella? Are you okay? I came as fast as I could. Jake lent me his motorbike."

"I'm great."

"I'll leave you two alone. Thank you Edward."

"What for Mr. Swan?"

"Please, call me Charlie. Thank you for caring for my daughter, thank you for helping me see the light."

"I did that? How so?" he looks genuinely perplexed. I honestly don't give him wrong because I don't understand how Edward could have honestly helped Charlie see the light. _It's not like they had much opportunity to talk at all…_

"I can see that you care for my daughter and that she cares for you, which just reminded me of what I've always wanted for her all along. For her to be happy you make her happy. And so does her job. It might not have been the path I chose for her myself but it's the one that she chose and I have to respect that. I've been foolish and stubborn and cut her out of my life because of it. I'm just glad you were there to help fill that gap. So thank you."

"You're welcome sir" Edward responds in an awed and humble tone.

"Please, call me Charlie" and with those words out of his mouth I know Charlie has accepted Edward as a part of my life. A few tears escape unbidden but I hurriedly brush them away. _Nobody needs to know that I'm a big sap…especially not Edward._

As Charlie walks up the stairs to give Edward and I some privacy I collapse into the couch, completely exhausted from the emotional day that I've had.

"Wow. So I guess you two are on good terms again huh? So my presence here is absolutely unnecessary."

"No it's not. I want your company. So now that you know how my day went, how was yours?"

He grimaces slightly and I know that it had not improved since his escape to call me earlier.

"Well when I heard you crying on the phone and Charlie told me that you can't talk right now I was a mess. I walked out of the bathroom and Jake and Billy saw my face. Jake was the first one to ask me what was wrong surprisingly. I guess I judged him wrong. I told him that something was wrong and he offered me his bike, on the condition that I don't 'hurt his baby'; his words not mine. I promised I would and the rest is history."

"So it really wasn't that long that Charlie and I were talking then…I could have sworn it was hours. Wow."

Edward chuckles and I look at him puzzled.

"It felt like it took me hours to get here."

"Haha. Well I guess both our perceptions of the time are off."

Just then the phone rings. I know it's for Charlie but, knowing him, he won't come down to get it if he thinks he'll be disturbing me.

I walk quickly to the kitchen to grab the phone before it stops ringing.

"Hello?"

"Bella?" the russet voice on the other line asks.

"Jake? Hey what's up? If you're calling about your bike she's in one piece I promise you" I tease.

"Well good, I can sleep tonight then" he chuckles. "Actually I was calling to see how you're doing."

"I'm much better. Thank you. Sorry that the boy's day got cut short."

"Nah it's okay. I'm sure we'll have lots of time for male bonding in the future. He's a great guy Bells. You two are lucky to have each other."

"Thanks Jake. Hey, what time should we come over for tomorrow?"

"Well the ceremony begins at two, so maybe you guys could come around twelve and dress over here? That way we get to catch up some more before you both have to leave."

"That sounds great. See you then."

We say our goodbyes and after I hang up the phone I return to Edward. I tell him of the plans for tomorrow and he is surprisingly okay with it.

We talk some more before my stomach starts to complain.

Edward volunteers to cook but since he's a guest in my house I shut him down. Instead he opts for watching me cook.

The meal is simple but comforting. Charlie, Edward and I talk and laugh through the entire thing and I can't help but feel like this is how things were meant to be. The men decide that sports are in order, _oh joy_, so I go upstairs to make a few phone calls so that they could bond. _No need to torture myself anymore than necessary._

First I call Rose and she tells me that, without my cooking, her morning sickness has increased to epic proportions. I tell her not to worry because in a few hours I would be in New York once more. Tyler coos into the phone making garbled, unintelligible sentences. Emmett is at home collecting clothes for the night.

I honestly don't understand why he just doesn't move in he's always there anyway.

When I'm through speaking with Rose I call Ali. She sounds so depressed that I can't help but feel guilty.

"Why are you feeling guilty Bella? It's not like you can do anything about it."

"I know Al, but I just feel bad. Because I can't even say that my life sucks anymore you know? I can't keep you company in your misery. What kind of friend am I?"

"Bella, don't be ridiculous. I'm happy that things are turning around for you. You deserve it."

"I do, don't I? Well I am happy, and nothing is going to change that."

"Exactly." Something about Alice's tone however makes me think that she feels differently but I don't press the matter.

We continue talking about how much has changed since we met each other that fateful day in high school until I hear the television turn off. I tell Alice goodnight and walk to my bedroom door. As I open it Charlie is standing on the other side.

"I was just coming to tell you goodnight Bells. I have to work tonight since I took yesterday and today off."

"Oh. Okay. Night dad. Be careful."

"Always am."

"What time will you be home?"

"Around four."

"Okay dad." I quickly hug him and he pats me uncomfortably on the back. Physical affection, any kind of affection really, is not his strong point. His comfort zone is grunts of 'I love you' and other such terms of endearment.

Edward comes up the stairs and heads straight for my room.

"This can so easily become a habit for me. Too bad I live so far away from you" he whispers in my ear. A shiver runs up my back and I briefly wish Charlie had left already. Just as I think that I hear the shower turn off so I know it won't be long before I get that wish.

"I can definitely agree. It's going to be so hard to get accustomed to your absence again."

"I know exactly what you mean. When I got home on Monday everything I had smelt of you. But I had to do my laundry so your strawberry shampoo and that unique flavor that makes up your smell was washed away. It almost caused me physical pain to do it. I had to keep reminding myself that you're not just a half hour away again."

"Can you read minds or something? It's almost like you're saying exactly what I'm thinking. The only difference is that your scent was also all over the house. It was torture because it was fading and I had no way of getting it back. I missed you so much. But it's going to be ten times worse this time because now I see you all day, first thing in the morning and last thing at night. When I get back to New York I'll keep waiting for you to come in to say goodnight. Or to cook breakfast on mornings. Or offer to make dinner, even though you know I won't let you…" I trail off because just thinking about the impending separation is hard.

"Let's not think about it okay…I'm gonna go take a shower. I probably stink to high heaven." As he says that I remember that I haven't allowed him to leave my side since he came back from his male bonding with the Blacks.

"I don't think you smell but I just realized that I've kept you attached to me since you came back. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. I wasn't any place I didn't want to be."

_Of course I blush. This is really ridiculous! Why can't I just accept a compliment like a normal human being without blushing?_

He kisses me on the cheek and goes to his room to get ready for his shower. _What I wouldn't give to be a fly on that wall right now…_

"Bye Bells" Charlie's voice calls out to me and I thank my lucky stars that he did not see the dazed look and crimson blush that I was just sporting.

"Bye dad!" I call down the stairs.

I prepare myself for my shower. As soon as Edward is done I'll go shower and smell human again.

He is out the shower within forty-five minutes with nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist and I all but drool. Unfortunately I must have made a noise because he turns around, giving me an undisturbed view of his bare chest and flashes me his extremely smug smirk…_jerk._

_My Lord this man is gorgeous!_ The water from his shower runs down the valley between his pecs and his abs and my mind begins to run away with the possibilities. Luckily, before I have time to act on them, I snap out of it and head, as quickly as possible, into the shower, blushing all the way. I hear his irritatingly smug chuckle as his bedroom door closes. _Damn it!_

It's a brief shower because I am anxious to get back to my room and my nightly ritual with Edward. _I'm only human after all, ruled by my hormones, so sue me why don't you?_

I honestly don't know how I'll be able to sleep at nights anymore without kissing him goodnight. It's strange that I've become so used to this routine in just two short nights but, as with everything with Edward and I, the normal expectations and reactions aren't in the cards.

I dry off and change in the bathroom because I am pretty sure I don't look anywhere near as good in a towel alone as Edward does. Besides I kinda want to stick to the no-sex-under-Charlie's-roof clause that I signed upon entry in my senior year, and I'm pretty sure that me in nothing in a towel would not be conducive to that agreement.

I honestly don't know when I fell asleep or when Edward left but as I turn over on my bed, trying to get comfortable, I notice he's not here. I look at the clock on my bedside table and realize that Charlie should be home soon. _Well, it's a good thing Edward left then because that would have been really awkward._

I snuggle into my pillow and fall right back to sleep and my dream unsettles me for a number of reasons.

_Darkness. Darkness everywhere._

_I turn around and I see Charlie, Edward, Rose, Tyler, Alice, Emmett and Jasper. They all stand waving happily at me, beckoning me over, but I don't go towards them. Instead I move further away._

_But why? All I see ahead of me is dark nothingness yet I move away from the people who care about me and into the unknown._

_I hear a voice whispering. The sound is soft and very eerie. I can't make out what it is saying. I turn back to ask my friends if they heard what the voice said but they're not there anymore. Where did they go?_

_I don't get the chance to think about it too much though because the voice is back._

"_Isabella. Where are you? I need you. Please."_

_Renee?_

"_Isabella! Please. Hurry. I need you!"_

"_Where are you mom? I can't find you. It's so dark."_

"_I'm right where I've always been. Find me Isabella, find me."_

_The dream changes again._

_I am standing in the middle of an airport. The airport is empty. Everywhere I look is glass and steel. In my hands is a note from Alice. All it says is 'you have to let go'. Let go? What do I have to let go?_

_Suddenly she appears in front of me. But she doesn't look like the Alice I know and love. Instead she looks angry and sad at the same time._

_I open my mouth to ask her what she means by I have to let go but no sound comes out._

_She fades away and is replaced by Charlie. He says to me: 'it's not worth it Bells. All this pain…too much pain' and he too fades away._

_I am left alone once more in the cold sterile airport. Confusion fills my mind. Then I hear a baby crying._

_I look down and I am holding an infant in my hand. It's a little girl and her blond curls and chocolate brown eyes are startling and a little unnerving. Her face looks so familiar but I know for a fact that I don't know this little girl. I would remember such an adorable little child._

_Once again everything changes and the child is gone._

"_Don't leave me" I hear Edward's voice beg me._

_Why would he be begging me not to leave him? Doesn't he understand that I couldn't leave him even if I wanted to. I am impossibly tied to him._

_I look around me and notice that it is too dark for me to see anything or anybody. The dark is impenetrable. A chill runs up my spine and I feel so alone. More alone than I've ever felt in my life. Like everyone I know and love have somehow ceased to exist._

_A sudden burst of light illuminates the room and I realize that I'm in my old home back in Phoenix. But it is so desolate and dilapidated that I am in shock. I walk around the small one-storey house. The furniture is broken, dust-covered and moldy smelling. The curtains are moth eaten, sun bleached and dirty. The paint on the walls is peeling off. It hurts my heart to see the house looking like that but what scares me is the fact that condition of this house is almost like a physical representation of my relationship with the people that I had shared it with. _

"Bells! Wake up!"

_What the-what's Charlie doing in Phoenix? _

"Bells!" then I register that Charlie's not in Phoenix but he's waking me up. But why?

"Sh…not so loud. What's wrong?"

"You were screaming. I was just coming up the stairs and I heard you. Are you okay? Why were you screaming?"

As his words register I also notice that he's in his uniform, minus the gun belt, and I also notice Edward standing in the doorway looking slightly disheveled and extremely worried.

I frown trying to figure out why I had been screaming. Yes it was an odd dream but screaming was extremely unwarranted.

"I…I don't know. I was dreaming about Phoenix but then you woke me."

Edward visibly tenses at the mention of Phoenix because he knows exactly what that means for me emotionally. "Are you sure you're okay?" he asks me.

"I'll be fine just as soon as I get some more sleep."

"Oh. Ok."

Charlie clears his throat and moves to leave the room.

"Dad?"

"Yeah Bells?"

"Thank you."

"What for baby-girl?"

"Everything."

"You're welcome Bells."

He moves past Edward, who was still standing awkwardly in my doorway, and heads to his bedroom.

"Want to talk about it? You don't have to but, if you want to, I'm here."

"Actually I wouldn't mind your perspective on it. It was really odd actually…" and I go on to tell him about one of the weirdest dreams I've ever had. _The last time I had an odd dream Edward came into my life. What the hell should I expect now that I dreamt about…I'm not even sure what the hell this dream was about?_ I know that it revolved a lot around Renee but as far as I could tell everyone I knew was in it, save for that random baby of course. _Maybe that was a sign that Rose was having a girl? Who the hell knows?_

Edward was just as confused as I was by the time I finish telling him about my dream.

"Maybe this was just your subconscious' way of reminding you of your unresolved issues with your mom? The darkness, the abandoned house, the empty airport, maybe they're just symbols of your relationship with her and places that have some connection with the two of you."

"Yea that could be it. When I spoke to Alice last night she said something that started me thinking about Renee so maybe that really is it. But what about the note? I mean what is that telling me? Should I just forget all about Renee and be happy that I have you guys in my life?"

"Possibly. But honestly you should only do that if you feel comfortable with it."

"I honestly don't think I could do that. She's my mom. I could try to ignore it but I can't completely put it behind me."

"I know that and I wouldn't ask you too. That's too much to ask of anyone."

**EPOV**

**And then the Shit hit the fan…**

Yesterday was an emotional rollercoaster to say the least. The first indication that the day would be one for the books was the invitation I received from _Jacob Black_ to spend the day with him and his father. _Like I would voluntarily want to spend time with them?_ But Bella looked so hopeful that I couldn't not go so I pulled myself together like the good sport that I am and went along with the plan.

Jacob arrived in a Volkswagen Rabbit that he claimed he built from scratch…_like I buy that?_ The entire ride to his place was tense and silent but, thankfully, very short. The physicality wasn't too bad but I missed Bella. That's when I realized just how pathetic I am. _Damn._

I called up my angel and everything was perfectly fine until I opened my big mouth and asked her about her father. That's about when the shit hit the fan big time and she started crying, but what made it worse was the fact that I wasn't there to hold her and make it all better like I promised I would be.

Jacob, thankfully, lent me his motorbike, which I absolutely have to get one of by the way, and I flew up the winding road towards my damsel in distress. Unfortunately, or maybe luckily, she was no longer in distress by the time I got there.

Everything seemed to be getting much better after that, especially when I found out that her father was off to work the graveyard shift, leaving us all alone. _Hell yeah!_

I got out of the shower and caught her ogling me. I must admit that boosted my ego a hell of a lot. Too bad she didn't decide to act on the obvious desire she felt.

Before bed we made out for quite a while then I just held her until she fell asleep. Around one or so this morning I woke up and went to my own room, no need to tempt fate or Charlie Swan's temper.

Sleep refused to come for quite a while and it seemed that just as soon as I was able to fall asleep the chaos began anew.

Seeing Bella lying in her bed looking so vulnerable nearly broke my heart. When she told me about her dream I was so confused as to what it all meant. We playfully discussed the possible meanings until she brought up my dream self begging her not to leave me. _As if!_

"Edward Cullen does not beg. He may plead vigorously but he does not, now or ever, beg!"

She laughs at me. _At __me__!_

But her response takes some of the sting out of her laughter at my expense.

"Yes well you'll never have to with me. I'm yours. Although begging may lead to great rewards…"

_Hello! I may suddenly become very adept at begging!_

"Well what do you know; I just may be a beggar after all."

She blushes and laughs at me, and then she leans over and captures my lips in her own in a very tender kiss. This kiss stirs up so much inside of me that I am suddenly hyper aware that Charlie is only a room away and is a licensed owner of a firearm but, more importantly, a proud owner of a shotgun. I pull away quickly and we both groan at the loss of contact, but I remind myself that it is for a valid reason.

We continue to dissect her dreams until she lets out a yawn that I never knew someone so tiny was capable of.

"I think you need some more sleep. I'll leave you to it. Sweet dreams beautiful."

"Don't go. Please. I…I don't want to be alone right now. Stay with me?"

"What about Charlie?"

"He won't do anything. And if he does I'll just remind him that I'm not five years old anymore and I can make my own decisions."

"If you're sure…"

I crawl onto the right side of the bed and Bella curls her body into mine. _Sleep is going to be hard to come by…_

At exactly nine a.m. I hear movement on the stairs. I open my eyes but I can't see anything past the brunette locks covering my face. The strawberry scent invades my nostrils and I inhale deeply trying my best to internalize the scent. Her two warm arms are wrapped around my torso and as I shift to try to get up her grip only tightens. _Damn this girl is strong! Oh well, it's not like I'm in any hurry to leave the comfort of her embrace anyway._

"You two better get a move on, we have a long day ahead of us. Watch those hands young man." I look down and notice my hands are securely placed on her plump ass, and move them so quickly you would think I got burnt. I don't know when my hands got there but they sure as hell weren't going back there anytime soon.

"Sorry, sir." My cheeks are tinged pink by this point and I send a silent prayer to whoever is willing to listen that he doesn't decide to fire off his firearm.

"I told you call me Charlie or I'll start calling you boy. Now wake her up."

"Will do."

He walks away from the door chuckling quietly. I finally begin to breathe a little easier at his departure.

I shake Bella lightly but she just snuggles closer to me, placing her right leg over my hip, nuzzling my neck and running her hand down my chest. I swallow the moan that is threatening to escape.

"Don't get me wrong Bella, I love what you're doing but if you don't stop I won't be held responsible for my or Charlie's reactions for that matter. So, please stop."

She mumbles something unintelligible but stirs a little so I know she's waking up.

"What was that?" I ask, trying to get her to make sense of her sleepy garble and distract myself from her touch.

"I said 'Who says that wasn't my intention all along?' Good morning by the way." She says all this with her face still hidden in the crook of my neck and her leg still firmly placed on my hip, precariously close to my ever-present soldier, awaiting his order to storm the gates.

"You will be the death of me. Come on, we have to get up before Charlie comes back in here and accuses me of taking advantage of his_ innocent_ daughter."

"I don't appreciate what you are implying Mr. Cullen."

"What do you mean?" I tease. Before she could respond however, I leap off the bed and run, headlong, into Charlie. _Perfect._

He clears his throat and I nervously run my hands through my hair and pray to God that he doesn't look down. And, right on cue, he does. His face, which is steadily growing red, is set in a very terse expression. _Please don't kill me, please don't kill me, __please__ don't kill me!_

"Ed-" Bella's voice stops short as she notices my tense stance and Charlie's puce face.

**CPOV**

**Life is a long lesson in humility- James M Barrie**

I like to think of myself as a pretty liberal guy. I mean I let the kid stay here don't I?

Against my better judgment I don't go ape shit on his ass when I notice that, not only did he sleep in my little girl's bed this morning, but that he's practically groping her while I am a few feet away. But no, I let it slide because, regardless of how much I wish it weren't true, Isabella is an adult now so I can't protect her forever. Besides I know he cares for her and so he won't intentionally hurt her. However, _this_ just won't work.

_I mean, have some respect for me and my house please._

There he is, in nothing but his pajama pants on, coming out of her room sporting an _erection_. _Does he have no respect for me? Or my daughter even?_

_At least he has the decency to look ashamed!_

"Ed-"I hear my sweet daughter's voice say and that just makes me see red. All I can think about is the fact that this vile creature wants to defile my little angel.

She steps out of her room and moves slowly towards me like the negotiator would in a hostage situation. That hurts me a lot. My daughter, taking _his_ side over _mine_, treating me like I'm some fragile glass figurine, tiptoeing around my emotions.

"Dad…dad are you okay? What's wrong?"

_How can she ask me that? Isn't it obvious?_

"Look, Charlie…Mr. Swan, sir…I swear, nothing happened" his deceiving voice tells me.

"I should hope not!" is my brilliant response, but it comes out much louder than I expect and we all flinch slightly.

"Daddy. Calm down. See I'm still fully clothed" and she accompanies her statement with a twirl. Her state of clothed-ness mollifies me slightly, but only just. I'm also pleased to see that Edward is fully deflated. _Good!_

A moment of clarity allows me to rationally assess the situation. I may have overreacted just a little.

Okay so this is what I know: He just woke up. It's morning. But his hands were all over her. She is fully clothed. She looks disheveled. But she too just woke up.

_Apologies are in order._

_Damn it. I hate apologizing. _

I clear my throat and both Bella and Edward visibly relax having sensed the shift in my mood.

"I may have been a little over zealous in my reaction. Please forgive me. I was just on my way to make sure you two were up" _it seems that at least Edward was._

"Yes well, as you can see, we're both very awake dad. Edward and I were just about to go fix breakfast, weren't we Edward?" she turns to him and smiles brilliantly. He simply nods his head dutifully. I know that she just said that for my benefit so for hers I choose to accept it as fact. I nod my head in acceptance and return to my room.

I head to the shower to start my day.

_I need to get the hell out of here!_

**BPOV**

**I didn't know then what I wanted, but the ache for it was palpable- The Mermaid Chair (Sue Monk Kidd )**

Oh my God! I just about pissed myself when Charlie almost blew up at Edward. Luckily the situation was easily diffused.

I know Charlie saw right through my lie but he didn't argue so Edward and I walk down the stairs quickly to begin breakfast.

Pancakes for Charlie, waffles for Edward and me and bacons and eggs.

Edward begins to mix the batter for the pancakes and waffles while I set about setting the breakfast bar for our meal. I take put three plates and glasses as well as three sets of utensils and place them in their respective places.

Just as Edward is ready to pour the batter onto the skillet I begin to whisk the eggs for frying. Charlie walks in just then. "Don't fix anything for me kids; I'm heading down to Billy's to help with any last minute preparations."

"Oh. Ok. Would you like us to come with you? We can help out too."

"No, that's okay Bells. You two stay and eat something. When you're finished, if you still want to come help, then feel free."

With that he walks out the front door.

I turn to Edward and his puzzled look tells me that clearly I'm not the only one who's shocked by Charlie's sudden departure. I know for a fact that Charlie was not needed at the Blacks because Jacob told me that everything was set for the wedding this afternoon so why did Charlie suddenly feel the need to leave?

I brush the confusion and growing hurt aside and instead focus on the task at hand, making breakfast.

Edward allows me to eat in contemplative silence but he, to his credit, doesn't allow me to wallow for too long after that.

"Come on. Let's do something.'

"Like what?"

"I don't know. You're the one from around her so you tell me."

I stop to think for a bit.

"We don't have that many options given our time constraints but I would just love to get out of the house though. Let's go for a walk."

"Sounds like a plan."

"Are you sure? I mean that's not exactly the most exciting way to pass time…"

"Bella, I'll be with you, nothing would excite me more."

"What did I do to deserve you?"

"I should ask you the same thing."

_How could I not blush after that? _

We both go upstairs to get ready for the day. Embarrassingly I haven't even brushed my teeth for the day and I spent so much time with Edward. _Ugh. He must think I'm such a slob._ The fact that he hasn't brushed his teeth either refuses to hold any bearing to me however. _Thank_ _God I didn't kiss him though because my mouth would not taste appealing, I'm sure of it._

Edward is finished getting ready before I am so he proceeds down the stairs to wait for me. As I'm brushing back my hair I hear the telephone ring.

"Will you get that please!" I shout down the stairs.

"No problem."

I assume it is Charlie calling to check in or Jake calling to remind us that we had to be there by noon so I pay very little attention. I continue fixing my hair without a care in the world, so when I hear Edward shouts up at me that it was Renee who called, to say that I was shocked would be an understatement. My knees felt weak as I took the stairs and slowly made my way to Edward.

He silently hands me the phone. I shakily place it to my ear and, without knowing it, hold my breath.

"Bella? Is that you? Who was that who answered the phone? Where's Charlie? What are you doing in Forks? I would have thought you'd left that small dreary town by now."

"What do you want Renee? I'm busy; I'd like to get back to what I was doing if you don't mind."

"Oh, right. I'm sorry. I was just calling to get a number to contact you by actually. I wasn't expecting you to be there."

"What do you want Renee? I haven't heard from you for longer than I'd care to think about so you saying that you wanted to get in contact with me does not strike me with warm fuzzy feelings. On the contrary it only makes me sad because I know that the only reason you called is because you want or need something from me. So what is it? Let's not play games, we're both adults so pussy footing around the topic is not ideal."

Edward squeezes my shoulders reassuringly ju8st as I feel on the brink of breaking down.

"I honestly don't see why you need to be so rude. I raised you to be a respectful woman so please. Can't I want to speak with my daughter?"

"You can, but like I said, something tells me that you're not calling simply to catch up. If you'd tell me what it is you want I'll see that it can be arranged but please do so quickly I have somewhere to be."

"I'd like to keep in contact with you if you'd let me. To make up for lost time, you know? That's all I want. Can I have that?"

I'm about to say no, that she's too late but something tugs in my mind and I remember how much I wished that she were in my life. So instead of hurting her the way she hurt me I decide instead to grant her, and myself, her wish.

"How about you give me a number to contact you by? I'll contact you when I get home."

"Home? So you don't live in Forks?"

"No. Look I have to go. I'll tell Charlie you called."

"No!" she yells. She corrects her tone immediately and continues, "what I mean is, your father and I haven't exactly kept in touch. I was going on a prayer that his number would be the same. Call me when you can. 1-202-235-1552. Want me to repeat it?"

"Yes please."

I motion for Edward to write it down on the notepad beside the phone. My hands are trembling too badly for anything I write to be legible. As Renee repeats her number for me I say it aloud and Edward writes it. Then it clicks.

"That's in D. C. What happened to Europe?"

"It's a long story. I'll save it for another time. You get back to that delicious sounding man that answered the phone. Call me okay?"

"I will."

I hang up the phone, close my eyes and take a deep breath. When I open them again Edward is watching me warily. I rip off the piece of paper with Renee's number on it and stuff it in my pocket.

"Are you ready?"

The look I get from Edward is expected, you know the one that says '_are you crazy?_', but I try my best to ignore it. I honestly don't have the energy or presence of mind to deal with the ramifications of that phone call right now.

I lead him out the back door towards the lush forest behind the house.

"Are you sure you want to do this? I mean I wouldn't want us to get lost or anything" Edwards teases me.

"I knew I should have kept that to myself. It was one time!"

"Sure it was."

"Oh shut up" I laugh.

If he was trying to make me laugh and forget about Renee for a little while, he succeeded because, as we explore the forest, the phone call does not cross my mind once. We walk through the thick covering of trees and shrubs. The heavy smells of the earth comfort us as we walk hand in hand along the path moving further away from the house. At first we move in companionable silence but as the darkness of the trees swallows us Edward stops and turns to me.

"When does your summer vacation begin?"

"Um, well when I get back to school we'll be moving towards exams. So we should be finishing the semester somewhere in early May. Why?"

"No reason. Just wondering, you know."

"Ok, well that wasn't random at all…"

"Just don't worry about it okay."

"Fine, I won't. So when you go back home are you gonna be on call?" I really don't want to think about him leaving me but I have to be logical and logically I know he has to leave. He is a part of something bigger than the two of us combined.

His face tenses for an infinitesimal amount of time that, if I didn't see it myself I would never have been able to guess at the turmoil raging inside him at the mention of this topic.

"Yes I am. From here on in I'll be on call getting hands on practice."

"So have you given any more thoughts to what you're going to specialize in?"

"I have actually. I sat down with my dad and we discussed the pros and cons of each option and I decided that surgery would be the better field for me. I love kids but I don't think I can watch them suffer. It'll kill a piece of me every day if I have to see that."

"That makes sense."

Just then my stomach lets out the most embarrassingly loud snarl imagined. My face turns red in my chagrin and Edward studiously pretends he didn't hear it.

_How the hell am I hungry again? I just ate for crying out loud!_

"It's getting a bit chilly out here, you want to go in?" he asks.

"Sure. Until you mentioned it I didn't really realize the temperature. You're right, it is kinda chilly."

We retrace our steps and head back into the house.

As we enter I realize we have a half hour until we need to be at the Black's so I fix us a couple of sandwiches and we have a quick light lunch. While Edward is showering I wash up the dishes. As soon as I'm done I head into my room to get everything ready for the wedding.

I shower quickly and we head into Edward's Volvo. The drive to Jake's is peaceful and shorter than I remember and before I know it, with the way Edward drives, we're there.

The wedding was beautiful. Rachel's dress was divine and made her look like a russet angel, her dark hair flowed down her back and her brilliant white smile makes her look more beautiful than I've ever seen her.

With the actual ceremony over the wedding party proceeds to the tent which had been erected for the reception. Billy has tears streaming down his face and pride reflecting from his eyes at how his daughter has grown. I have to fight back tears because I know that, because of my resolution with Charlie, I can someday have that look directed at me.

Sleep comes and I tell everyone goodnight and Edward and I drive back to Forks.

"That was a nice ceremony. The bride looked happy."

"Yes she did. I don't know her that well but I can tell that the two of them make each other happy, that much was obvious. But I am so exhausted right now it's not even funny. It's almost like I haven't slept in days. My eyes are closing down on me, it's ridiculous."

"Oh, you poor baby. Why don't you close your eyes, I'll wake you when we get there."

"But then you won't have anyone to keep you company."

"Don't worry about me. Get some sleep okay?"

"Okay." Not a moment later and I find myself in a dreamless sleep.

Somewhere in the back of my mind I notice a shift in temperature and hear the sounds of closing doors but I take little note of it other than that. Eventually I feel the annoying urge to empty my bladder, that's when I realize that I'm not sitting in Edward's car anymore but I am, in fact, at Charlie's house, in my room. _Huh? How the hell did I end up here? I don't remember ever getting out of the car…strange._

I uncover myself and roll sleepily out of the bed. I move zombie-like through the hallway and into the bathroom. I relieve myself and then knock on Edward's door. No answer. _Hmmm, he must be asleep. I guess I'll see him in the morning then._

As I turn to walk back to my room I hear his door handle rattle. I turn back towards his door in time to see his head poking through the door, his typically disheveled hair even more so coupled with his sleep filled eyes, and all I can think is _'God this man is_ _perfect.'_

"Hey beautiful. What's up?" his voice is husky and filled with sleep and I immediately feel guilty for waking him up.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I woke you. I should have realized you would have been asleep. Go b-"

"Sh. It's okay. Would you like to come in?"

I nod and as he moves aside to let me in I lean up and kiss him on the cheek.

His room is just as neat now as the day he arrived. _He cleans up after himself, that's very good, I can definitely admire that._

I sit on his unmade bed and he sits next to me, taking my hands in his lap.

"What are you doing up? I thought you would be out for the count."

"I had to use the bathroom and then I realized that I was inside. Thank you by the way."

"Don't mention it. Luckily for me your dad wasn't home yet because I highly doubt he would have appreciated me holding you quite so close."

"Lucky indeed. Is he home now?" as I ask the question Edward watch beeps signaling that it is midnight. "Never mind." _Of course Charlie would be home, it's late and he possibly has work in the morning._

"Actually, he's not here yet. He called earlier and said he was staying at the Clearwater's and he'll see you in the morning." _Huh? Odd, but whatever, it his prerogative._

"The Clearwater's? I remember that name…but I can't put a face to anyone other than Harry, his old fishing buddy."

"Hmmm. So what did you want to talk to me about or were you just longing to see my handsome face?" he teases.

"Oh please. I wanted to know why you didn't wake me. It's not like I couldn't have walked the few steps myself."

"Because it would have been horrible of me to watch you sleeping as peacefully as you were and then wake you. So I chose instead to carry you to your room."

"And how then am I in my pajamas? You couldn't in good conscience wake me but you could most definitely strip off my clothes while I was defenseless?"

His face begins to tint pink and I have to stifle my giggle at his obvious discomfort. It's not easy to get him to blush so I have to revel in it any chance I get.

"I…I…you…well…honestly I didn't perve on you, I swear. I simply put on your pajama bottoms while your dress was still on. The top part I could do nothing to keep modest. I'm sorry. But I swear I moved as quickly as I could. I was the perfect gentle-"

"Edward, stop! It's okay. I'm not mad at you for making sure that I would be comfortable. Thank you." Just then a yawn escapes my careful control.

"You're still tired. Come on, in you go."

Without hesitation I crawl into Edward's bed and he snuggles in beside me. I am surrounded by his scent and it instantly makes me even more relaxed.

"So, did you like what you saw?" as the words leave my mouth his hand, which is resting lightly on my waist, tenses noticeably.

"Um…I didn't see anything?" _Yeah right._

"Wrong answer!" I turn and smack him in the center of his chest. "I'm serious. Did you know I almost didn't put on a bra? That would have been awkward" and of course my blush comes as if on cue.

"Awkward isn't exactly the word I'd use."

"I'm sure it's not. What word you use?" Despite the nuclear blush that is covering my face I soldier on with the topic at hand. Why, I honestly don't know. But I do.

"I'm not sure it's appropriate to say. But let's just say I wouldn't have been opposed to it. I will admit it took a lot of self control to just take off your clothes and nothing more." He doesn't look me in the eyes as he says this but rather everywhere on my face but.

"Really?"

"Really."

As if possessed by a woman with a lot more self assurance than I have, someone maybe like Professor Tanya Denali, I reach over and straddle Edward's waist. I completely lose myself in the moment and in him. It could have minutes, it could have been hours, I have no idea how long we stayed wrapped up in each other. I suddenly became very aware of the situation when Edward's words broke through to my desire filled mind.

"Bella. What are we doing here? You have to tell me, I need to hear you say it."

"I don't know what I'm doing, but what I do know is that I don't want to stop."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

~twi~twi~twi~

I can feel that the morning has arrived but, oddly it is not accompanied by the usual stream of sunlight that enters my room. As this thought passes through my head, the bed shifts next to me and I start slightly. Then it all comes flooding back to me. I actually did it, I slept with Edward! _Shit!_ I'm not so sure that was such a wise move.

I have no time to ponder that further because I hear Charlie's car pulling into the driveway. I try to get out of Edward's vice grip but it only tightens. _Damn he's strong!_

I have no other choice but to wake him.

"Edward! You have to let go. Charlie's home!" I stage whisper to him, not wanting to draw any unwanted attention to us.

His brilliant response to my growing sense of panic is to mumble some absolutely incomprehensible syllables. _Great!_

Maybe if I shake him he'll wake up. Thankfully he does.

"What's wrong?" he asks me as he sees the panic on my face. "You're not regretting last night are you?" The genuine hurt that crosses his face as he says this makes my heart ache for him. it also helps me to realize that I didn't in fact regret the decision as I had initially thought I did. _I just hope I don't have any regrets nine months down the road! I'll cross that bridge if, and when, I get there._

"No. Of course not! Don't ever think that. But Charlie's home!" That finally breaks through his downward spiral. He leaps into action. He rolls off of the bed and hands me my clothes all the while getting dressed himself. I have never seen someone move so quickly before. I guess the threat of death spurs near superhuman speed.

Nonetheless we finish dressing and I sneak back into my room just as Charlie hits the noisy stair on his way to his room. His footsteps have the labored thread of someone who imbibed a bit too much alcohol for one night.

As I suspected he peeks into my room and, seeing nothing awry, he moves on. _Thank God!_

Sleep envelops me once more.

~twi~twi~twi~

Groggy, extremely well rested but a little sore, I open my eyes to bright sunlight. This is it. D-day. Today I leave Edward. Ugh.

The alarm clock tells me that it's already ten o'clock. Wow, I can't remember the last time I slept so long.

_Okay what's the plan for the day…first things first I need sustenance. Secondly I need to do the laundry, and then pack my bags. Then, sadly I need to leave for the airport, leaving my heart behind with Edward. _

I take a quick shower and head downstairs to get breakfast started. I didn't need to worry about that however because as I clear the stairs I hear Charlie and Edward talking in the kitchen and cutlery clinking. _How the hell is Charlie up before me?_

"Hey sleepy-head. I thought I was going to have to manually transport you to the airport. How is it that I came in at six-thirty this morning and I still manage to get up before you?" Charlie's voice is teasing but I can see from the slight tension in his eyes that he's genuinely curious.

"You know dad, I was wondering that exact same thing just now."

While dad tries to glean the truth from my eyes Edward gets up from his spot and fixes me a plate. I barely pay attention to what is placed before me as I inhale it.

"What's the rush Bells?"

"I just have so much to do before I leave." I get up from my seat and wash out my dirty dishes and then announce to no one in general that I was going to start the laundry.

After stripping the beds and gathering the towels I carry them and my laundry basket down to the laundry room. Edward follows me down with his dirty laundry citing that he didn't want me to have to deal with his smelly clothes. It's not like I was complaining or anything, but I guess he felt like he was doing the right thing. It's not really something you do unless you're a) married to the person, b) in a long-standing committed common residence relationship or c) his mother. We are obviously neither so I understand the hesitation. When I'm finished Edward takes control of the washing machine. He is meticulous and before long his colors are separated and the washer is going. We talk about nothing in particular and, before I know it, we are on our way back up the stairs to start packing. The time on the clock on my bedside table says that we finished everything within two hours. Packing takes me a half an hour at best and I decide to call Alice. I haven't spoken to her since Friday. She's probably on the brink of catching a flight here just to crucify me. I also need to call Rose whom I also haven't spoken to since I arrived.

"Oh, she lives! You better have some juicy gossip for me to make up for neglecting me all weekend Isabella." If I didn't know better I'd think she was serious but I could hear the good-natured humor in her voice after years of practice listening to her.

"I have so much to tell you but I don't know where to start. I wish I could see you and talk to you in person. I have a lot to tell to Rose too. I wish we weren't all so far away."

"You and me both, Bells. Can you believe I find myself missing Rosalie and Emmett and especially Tyler?"

"I have an idea. Hold on a second okay?"

I quickly dial Rose's home number, praying that she'd be home. Luckily she is.

"Rose, hold on a sec."

I connect the two calls.

I tell them everything that happened during this whirlwind weekend. Rose remains silent throughout the entire retelling but Alice, being Alice, interjects often but only seeking clarification. When I'm finished Rosalie breaks her silence.

"You slept with Edward?"

"Out of everything I just said that's all you got? Jeez Rose. Yes I slept with him okay."

"What was it like?"Alice asks.

"Amazing, what else would it be? He is a Cullen after all. Am I right Bella? I mean I'm sure he's no Emmett but he won't be a slouch either."

"Rosalie Hale! I am not responding to either of you. So nobody's going to say anything about Renee's miraculous reappearance into my life?"

"Of course we are Bells but this is kind of a big deal. I've known you for quite a while and having sex has always been a big deal for you so why are you trying to play it down now?" Alice's voice is full of concern and curiosity. I understand where she's coming from but ever since that weird-ass dream all I could think about is Renee. That does not go to say that sleeping with Edward is not memorable, which it _so_ is, but it just has to take a backburner to something I've been obsessing over for way longer.

"I'm not downplaying it; it's just that this thing with Renee has me going crazy. We'll talk about it I swear just, can you guys help me wrap my head around how freaky it was that after I dreamt her she calls me up and says she wants to keep in touch?" The moment of silence that follows after I ask this causes me to worry; I don't understand what it means.

"So you said she's in Washington D.C.?" Rosalie, ever the trooper, asks.

"Yeah, that's the area code she gave me. Why do you suppose she's back in the US?"

"Well, maybe Phil decided Europe wasn't all that it's cracked up to be? Or maybe they're just here for a while? Or maybe she finally grew some sense, left Phil and came home to look for her amazing daughter?" Alice fires off suggestions at me in her special way of speaking. I can't help but smile into the phone at her sorry attempt to decipher the enigma that is Renee.

"Sure Ali that last one is definitely it. She said we have a lot to talk about but I'm wondering now if this is what I really want. I mean when I heard it was her on the phone so many emotions ran through me all at once. I was confused, hurt, happy, but above all I was pissed as hell! Then when she kept begging to get back in my life I was reluctant at first then I talked myself into it. Now I'm wondering if that was such a good idea."

"Bella, for as long as I've known you you've been circling this topic constantly. It's no surprise that you'd have some hesitation about letting her back into your life after having hurt you so badly but this is what you need. Even if it's just to decide whether or not you want her to be a permanent part of your life or not, you have to do this. Don't you agree Rose?"

"Exactly. Look Bella, your mom may not be the best one out there but she's your mom so the best thing for you to do is at least clear the air between the two of you like you did with your dad. Look how well that turned out."

"Maybe you're right. Thanks for listening you guys. I should get going, it's almost time to leave so I should get some time in with Charlie."

"Running away from the topic Rose and I want to talk about I see. Fine, but know that you're not getting off so easily. Right Rose?"

"Right... Bye Bella. Hurry home, Tyler and I miss you."

"I miss you guys too. I'll be there as soon as I can. Bye Ali, I'll call you as soon as I get in okay?"

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"Okay, bye." With that my two closest friends hang up the phone and I leave my room to spend some time with the other occupants of the house.

I spend an hour talking and laughing with Charlie but then he gets a phone call telling him that he has to come out to work. For the remainder of my time in Forks I cuddle up to Edward on the couch and watch TV. I don't even remember what it is I was watching. I just remember that I am spending the last few moments I can with Edward before I have to head back to New York.

Before I know it, it's time to leave for the airport. The ride is bittersweet, with both of us trying to stay positive for the other. As the airport looms closer my eyes sting with the unshed tears that forms. I try to stay strong, to not let him see me cry, but it's the hardest thing I've ever tried to do. I finally understand what it must have been like for Edward when it was him who was leaving me behind earlier. I honestly thought I had gotten the shitty end of the stick in having to watch him go but now I know that that was the easier option, I suddenly selfishly wish that that were the case again right now. I feel as if my heart is ripping from my chest as I walk away from him towards the departure lounge. The cool temperature of the airport sends a shiver up my sign but I ignore the chill, too consumed by my heartache to care. My footsteps are heavy as I walk away from the one man who has managed to make me feel when all others have failed. Despite my better judgment I turn around and I am positive that my heart breaks at the sight I leave behind me; Edward's face is contorted in pain as he watches me walk away. At this point all he would have to do is ask me to stay and I would leave everything and everyone else behind and start anew with Edward, nothing else matters without him, not even finishing my degree. Suddenly he disappears in a crowd of people moving past him and I lose sight of him. That reprieve gives me the strength I need to continue on my trek to my gate.

Finally, mercifully, my flight is called and I board the plane. I finally allow the tears to come as I look out of my window and watch SeaTac grow smaller below me.

**As I was writing this chapter I realized that I have absolutely no specifics in this story. Hmmm, sorry about that... I am possibly the worst writer ever; it's a good thing I don't get paid for this right? Haha. So anyway I'm going to try to make some feasible clarifications here. Okay so Bella started working for Rosalie a little over six months ago. Before that Charlie was paying her rent. She decided that she wanted to support herself and not be a burden on Charlie any more. She is also heading into her final year of her degree in September. Right now she's on her Spring Break. Make sense? Let me know and don't be afraid to ask me any questions if something's unclear to you or whatever…**

**I would just like to say thank you for sticking with me, thank you for all the alerts, THANKIES for all the favorites XD (u boost my ego like u wudn't believe) and for those who took the time to review I would like to send an extra special THANK YOU! Exams are through…so we press on.**

**Let me know what you thought of the chapter, especially the dream, and I may throw in a teaser or two…just saying… ;D**

**Hope it was worth the wait though. I also hope your holiday season was as AMAZING as mine!**


	11. Together again

**No copyright infringements intended. All that belongs to me here is the plot. Take note!**

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**EPOV**

**Today I begin to understand what love must be, if it exists…when we are parted, we each feel the lack of the other half of ourselves. We are incomplete like a book in two vowels of which the first has been lost. That is what I imagine love to be: incompleteness in absence- Goncourt**

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She's leaving. She's leaving and taking with her my heart, which would be rendered obsolete in her absence anyway, but she's taking it with her. I'll probably miss her more than I'd miss my heart as a matter of fact. I only hope she takes good care of it while we are apart, for however long it has to be. For both our sakes, I hope it isn't very long at all. Those were the thoughts that were running through my head as Bella and I drove to the airport and as she went to board her flight.

Seeing Bella off to her flight was painful at best and the only thing that made it the slightest bit bearable was the fact that I knew that I would see her whenever and as often as I could and talk to her almost every day in between. This was not the end for us, not by a long shot, I refuse to allow it to be so. As they say parting is such sweet sorrow and absence makes the heart grow fonder. Well we have proven, twice now, sadly that parting is nothing but sorrow, no hint of sweetness in sight. I can only hope that the latter saying about absence is proven true. That will at least make the pain worth it if it can mean that my heart will open up to love her even more than I already do.

The moment I realized I loved her was the moment that I watched her walk away from me. I could see that she was fighting with herself, wanting to come back to me, and that just showed me that she was willing to sacrifice her happiness for the sake of others. She was willing to walk away from me, from her chance at a future with me, to return to Rosalie and Tyler because that's where her loyalty lies. She made a commitment to them and she would stand by it even if it hurt her. Too bad it hurt me too; but I can certainly respect her choice. I'm not sure if I would have been strong enough to do it were the situation reversed. Yes I had walked away from her once before but then our bond was a mere measure of what it is now and even then it was near impossible to leave.

As I think about the woman I love I cannot help but think of how it felt holding her in my embrace during our intimate moment of passion. It was spontaneous but, as clichéd as it sounds, it was so right, like it was meant to be, the two of us joined as one. Making love to Bella was more perfect than I could have ever imagined it would be. But thinking it over right now makes me remember how much I just want to kick myself for my stupidity and selfishness. Why the hell would I sleep with her without protection? What was I thinking? Not to mention the fact that I should have made her first time more special than the guest bedroom of her father's house with no plan, no forethought, no romance. What's worse is that right after we had to go our separate ways; how does that not make her feel cheap or like a one night stand? When will I ever prove myself worthy of such an angel as Isabella Swan? I can only hope to make it up to her, somehow. Hope is all I have in my quest to become the man Bella deserves.

~twi~twi~twi~

It has been two long weeks since I last saw my sweet Bella, in person at least. Tonight, as every Friday night, we have our Skype session. I watch the time, willing it to move faster. Friday's are the only nights that I get off early, a feat which took no small amount of negotiating and manipulating. As a result my weekends are spent trudging through the hospital making rounds for hours on ends and weekdays are spent doing research, labs and attending lectures or the occasional surgery sit-in. Mercifully six o'clock arrives and I rush to the locker room and collect my things. My step is light and my grin is stretched so far across my face I rival The Joker's manic expression.

Like a speed demon bat out of hell I push my Volvo to the limit, racing time on my way home. Somehow, no matter how recklessly I drive, I never get into accidents and I have only ever gotten three tickets in my entire life, two of which were parking violations.

As I pull into the driveway of my home I notice my both parents' cars are in the driveway. _What are they doing home this early? Isn't dad supposed to be on call this afternoon and mom doesn't usually get home until eight on a Friday night. Whatever._

I hurry to the front door and enter the foyer. As I get to the stairway my father walks out from the direction of the living room.

"Where's the fire son?"

"There's no fire…"

"He's rushing off to go talk to that girl he can't stop speaking about." My mom's voice startles me. Of course I nervously run my hands through my hair, eliminating any doubt that what my mother said was true. _Were they just sitting around waiting for me to come home? Is this some kind of intervention? But what for? _

"So when are we getting to meet this mystery girl, son? Your mom and I are more than a little curious. Even Emmett speaks highly of her so I know for sure she has to be something special to have my two hard to please boys gushing like this."

"I'm not really sure. I don't think she'll be able to get away anytime soon, she just got off Spring Break so she's back in school mode, getting prepared for her finals."

"Yes well her studies are very important. Carlisle I think we could wait, at least until she gets off. It's too bad we can't go to her…"

"Yeah, that _is_ just too bad." _Okay something is definitely up. My parents are acting very peculiarly. I_ _don't get it._

"Wait…we can go to her. Our son is expecting his first child, I think that's reason enough to take some time off and head to New York. If we happen to meet a certain brunette along the way so be it. Don't you agree sweetheart?"

"Yes I do, darling."

"That is not right. You two are going to New York? To see my girlfriend? While I'll be stuck here at the hospital?"

"Hmm…if only there were some way for you to come along on the trip with us while still getting the hours in…if only you knew someone who would be able to arrange such a thing…" my father's smirk, so much like my own, puzzles me even further.

"Wha- I, I don't understand. What are you saying?" I feel as though I'm missing some vital piece of information while my parents are holding the answer to the puzzle.

"Well son, I'm saying that I arranged for you to have an exhibition period at the private clinic that one of my close friends is running. It's really close to the house we rented for two months. After that well, it's up to you what you want to do. If you want I could arrange for you to transfer to NYU's medical program. I know this girl means a lot to you and I think you both deserve a chance to see where this goes. Your mother and I also believe it's time you spread your wings, we aren't going to hold you back anymore, son. We love you and we want you to be happy."

"I, I don't know what to say. Is this for real?" _Clearly my mind isn't firing on all pistons…_

"Do you want to come or not? It's either yes or no."

"Yes, of course! When do we leave?"

"Aren't you an eager beaver?"

"Mom, I love you to death but please, never, ever say eager beaver _ever_ again…"

"Oh shush. What I was going to say before I was so rudely interrupted was that we booked a flight for tonight. It leaves for New York in the next three hours so you better start packing."

"Three hours? I'll be right back I need to pack. And call Bella."

I rush up the stairs to my second story bedroom. Thanks to my meticulous housekeeping skills packing only takes me a half an hour. Then I quickly dial Bella's number. She picks up the phone and immediately my heart skips a beat. Her voice causes my body to react instantaneously.

I tell her that I won't be able to keep our webcam date and her disappointment almost breaks me but I refuse to let her know that I'm coming in. I want to surprise her. I tell her that as soon as I'm free I'll call her and I promise her that I'll make it up to her. If only she knew how much I would make it up to her. The next thing I do is carry my luggage downstairs and check with my parents to see if they had told Emmett we were coming or if it was meant to be a surprise to him too.

"Yes, we're surprising him, which is basically why we need you. We don't know where he'd be. It seems to me that half the time he's at his apartment and the other he's at his girlfriend's house."

"Wow mom that makes me feel so warm and fuzzy inside" I tease.

"Stop sassing me!"

"Yes mom. I think he moved in with the girls last I heard."

"What? Since when?"

"About a week now. Didn't he tell you?"

"No. It must have slipped his mind. Preparing for a child takes a lot of work."

"Yeah so I heard. So what time are we leaving?"

"Your dad is actually bringing our luggage down and then we'll be on our way."

~twi~twi~twi~

The flight is horrible. I get the window seat but unfortunately it is situated next to this big hairy guy who felt the need to share not only his extremely mundane life story but his bodily fluids as well. I politely wipe his saliva from my face and feign sleepiness. Thankfully he allows me some quiet time to 'sleep' during which I count down the time until touchdown. My parents are seated behind me and I would occasionally hear a chuckle coming from them which partially spikes my curiosity but mainly peaks my nausea level. I am never travelling with my parents again, and if I have to they are sitting as far away from me as I can. _This is ridiculous! I don't want any more evidence of how sickeningly in __love the two of them are, I have to face it every day when they leave the house for work with the constant PDA. That's more than enough. Besides it's making me a bit jealous that I don't have Bella here with me to do the same._

On top of all that there was turbulence._ Like I needed something else to make this experience even worse?_

Mercifully the captain announces that we'll be landing in the vicinity of the next fifteen minutes and I send a silent prayer that the fifteen minutes feel more like five.

I had no such luck. The fifteen minute schedule seemed stretched to an entire half hour. The obligatory waiting period in which the airplane taxis before we can offload is spent ignoring the unwanted invasion of personal space from my seat mate. His elbows hit me no less than three times in the rib and he again spits all over me as he tells me how happy he is that the flight is over. All that is going through my mind as he says this is: _you and me both mister!_

The airport is nearly empty, so we are able to collect our bags with little trouble. While I use the restroom, dad rents a car for our trip. _No more taxis, yes please!_

He orders an Aston Martin Vanquish, a car which I vow to buy for myself one day. It handles so smoothly that, if you weren't paying attention, you'd think you were parked.

Within minutes we pull up to an amazing duplex. The inside is elegant and nothing less than I would expect my parents to choose. The best part of all however, is that it is a mere fifteen minutes away from Bella. My father informs me that, first thing tomorrow morning he will show me where the clinic is.

We quickly freshen up and I take the wheel to navigate the way to Bella, Rosalie and Em. Thanks to the horsepower on the Vanquish we get there in ten minutes. Hearing the approaching car Bella opens the door and I can't shut off the stupid engine fast enough.

* * *

**BPOV**

**Happiness is easier to portray in an obvious way- unknown. **

_It can't be._

_He is supposed to be in Seattle._

_How could he be here?_

Those questions, despite my desperate desire to find their answers, suddenly lose their importance as I am enfolded into Edward's arms. We stay in that position for what could have been an eternity or mere minutes then, reluctantly, he pulls away from me. I stifle the groan that threatens to escape my lips at the loss of contact but my logical side tells me that we cannot possibly remain standing on the porch indefinitely.

It is only as we pull apart that I notice that we are not alone. The gorgeous couple standing behind Edward makes my breath catch in my throat. The blinding smile on the petite woman makes me blush. The smile is an intimate, knowing and affectionate one, as though she and I share some scandalous secret that no one else does and I can't help but wondering what is the meaning of it.

"Bella these are my parents Carlisle and Esme Cullen. Mom, Dad, meet Isabella Swan, my girlfriend."

"It's so nice to finally meet you Isabella. Edward talks so much about you I feel like I know you already" Esme says to me. I glance surreptitiously at Edward and notice that he is studiously avoiding my gaze, his face tinted an adorable pink. I try not to allow him to see that I notice his embarrassment.

"It's wonderful to meet you too. Come on in. if I was _told_ you were coming I would have prepared something special. As of right now all we have is pizza. I hope you don't mind." I turn to Edward and give him an accusatory stare but, lucky for him, his father comes to the rescue.

"That's our fault Isabella. We didn't even tell Edward beforehand and when he found out well he wanted it to be a surprise. Not even Emmett knew we were coming either. Pizza would be lovely."

"Oh. Ok. And you can call me Bella. Isabella is so formal you know?"

I walk in ahead of them and just as I am about to lock the door I hear Emmett's booming voice calling out to me. "Who was it Bells?"

"Why don't you come see for yourself?"

"Alright miss attitude" his dismembered voice returns. I roll my eyes. Emmett can be such a big kid when he wants to.

His footsteps followed by the little pitter patter of my charge and the click clack of his mom's heels are heard. I take everyone's coats and hang them. When I get back Esme is bent slightly with her hands resting on Rose's tummy. The three men are standing aside watching them with mildly amused expressions on their faces. Tyler looks on, confused, and clutching tightly to his mom's leg. When he notices me he runs away from the strange adults and comes to stand behind me, feeling a safe distance away from 'the unknowns'. While Rose directs everyone to the living room I hang back with the little guy, and so does Edward.

"So how long are you going to be staying for?" That wasn't the question I was initially going to ask but my anxiety in knowing the answer forced it out of my mouth before my mind registered it was coming.

"For about two months. Maybe longer…it's conditional."

At that piece of phenomenal information, I forget that Tyler is in the room and I throw myself into Edward's arms. When I pull back however, my brain has time to catch up to my impulsive and possibly desperate reaction, and the familiar warmth moves up my cheeks.

"I take it your happy about that?"

"What gave it away?" I retort. He chuckles silently.

Tyler tugs on my jersey and affects a quizzical look.

"I just got some good news honey, that's all. Race you to the living room." He barely hesitates a moment before his little feet pads of, full speed, towards his destination, giggling all the way. I laugh then I take off after him, glad for the excuse to escape my embarrassment.

As I enter the room Tyler is just climbing up onto the couch with Rose. Edward enters just a few seconds after me an amused expression on his face.

Looking around the room some more I notice that Emmett is in some sort of conference with his father while his mother, Esme, is fawning all over Rose. I guess that's expected all things considered.

Upon noticing my arrival into the room Carlisle looks up and sends a small smile my way. Esme shifts on her perch on the couch next to Rose to make room for me. The small gesture makes me teary-eyed because I know that that means she has, even if only minimally, accepted my presence in her son's life. I turn to glance at Edward and am rewarded with a reassuring smile.

_Well, here goes nothing then. Bonding time with the boyfriend's parents…at least I'm not alone with them._

"Doesn't she look positively gorgeous with her pregnancy glow Is-, I mean Bella? That's going to take some getting used to, sorry."

"Yes she does. But, no matter how much I tell her that all she hears is 'Rose, you are so fat!' Maybe she'll take your word for it Mrs. Cullen."

"Mrs. Cullen? Carlisle, I didn't know your mother was here? Where is she?" she jokes. "Call me Esme, dear. And I'm afraid I'm having no such luck either. This young woman seems to be determined to ignore our opinions. I need to have a word with my son, clearly he isn't telling you enough how stunning you look Rose."

"Oh on the contrary Esme, he tells me every chance he gets. But he has no choice does he? If he wants to continue sleeping here, that is." We break out into laughter and the men, being unable to contain their curiosity any longer stop their conversation and come over.

"What's so funny ladies?" Carlisle asks.

"Never you mind sweetheart. Why don't you men go fix us something to eat, we're bonding."

"Dad! She's been here fifteen minutes at best and she's already kicking us out" Emmett, the ever mature, complains. Surprisingly I notice that Edward is also in agreement and is wearing a full blown pout. _Wow, he is so gorgeous when he's sulking!_

_"_Don't worry son, I'm not trying to steal Rosalie from you, I just want to make sure she knows that I would much prefer her to you as a child any day." I try my hardest to stifle a laugh at his wounded facial expression. Carlisle and Edward however have no such qualms and audibly express their view of Esme's comment. Rosalie gets up from her seat to comfort Emmett, whispering something in his ear that obviously does exactly that.

Without further ado he promptly heads into the kitchen leaving his father and brother standing staring confusedly after him.

With the men gone we resume our conversation.

"I can't believe you said that to him Esme. I mean you know better than anyone else how big of a baby Emmett can be when his ego is bruised. Not that I don't agree it needs reducing every once in a while, because it does."

"Yes well I know that you're quite capable of licking his wounds for him so he needs not worry. Besides I said nothing but the truth. He knows I've always wanted a daughter and now I have two!"

Her smooth inclusion of me in the conversation made my heart warm for this woman that I barely know but somehow already love. _To create people like Emmett and Edward she has to be someone special anyway. _

"Thank you Esme, that's really nice of you to say" chimes Rose while I nod my agreement, my throat too choked up to allow a verbal response.

"Like I said, it's nothing but the truth. To have my sons so completely enamored by you in such a short space of time, you must be incredible women and so I already feel as though I love you."

"Would you believe I was just thinking that? As creepy as that sounds, it's the honest to God truth." my face is tinged pink anticipating the laughter which would accompany my confession.

It never comes. Instead Esme leans over and encloses me in a hug. I hug her back fiercely, suddenly feeling my mother's absence more than I ever have before. Thinking about my mother as I hug Esme causes tears to come unbidden to my eyes. A strangled sob escapes my lips and I feel Esme hold me tighter. Strong arms grips me from behind and before I know what is happening I am lifted from the couch and snuggled into the unmistakable comfort of Edward's chest. I hear him mumble something but my brain refuses to process anything beyond the pain of all the years of my mother's love that I've lost.

I never thought I would be back to this point again. I thought with my now constant contact with Renee I would be getting over it but apparently I'm not. _I guess I should book that flight to Washington sooner rather than later._

Slowly my tears subside and all I'm doing is sniffling like a little child who has been scolded for the first time.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. Your mother must think I'm a freak or something!"

"Shh…stop. Don't apologize for feeling. You're only human! Do you want to talk about it?"

"Honestly, if I knew what happened I would talk to you but I just…your mom was just being so nice to me and I guess it brought back up a lot of the old hurt you know? But I thought that that whole Renee thing was behind me, because I've been talking to her almost every day, and we're almost back to where we were."

"It takes more than just a few phone calls to fix the damage she's done Bella. I know it probably felt to you like it was fixed but I think this little breakdown should show you that you two still have some work to do. Yes?"

"Yea, I guess you're right."

"Ready to go back out? Your pizza's probably cold, I can heat it up for you if you'd like."

"No, I like cold pizza. Let me just wash my face and I'll be right out."

"Would you like me to wait for you?"

"You don't have to."

"Then I'll wait. I've spent more time away from you than was bearable so I'll spend whatever time I can with you."

I splash some water on my face and give myself a mini pep talk. _Buck up Bella! You are a Swan; you can handle whatever life throws at you. Stop dwelling! Just keep moving forward, regardless of how slowly that might be, keep moving!_

I walk out to Edward lying on my bed looking quite at home there. _God I love this man. Love? Love…yeah. I love him!_

Unbeknownst to me, while I was having this revelation, apparently Edward was roused by my entrance and was looking at me quite intently as the emotions played across my face.

"What's got you smiling so hard?"

"Um…nothing. I was just thinking that's all."

"Care to share?"

"Not just yet. Soon."

"I'll hold you to that. Come on, everyone must be wondering if we got lost in here."

~twi~twi~twi~

"I wish you could stay the night. I've missed you."

"Me too Bells. But I have to get going early in the morning to meet some of my dad's colleagues concerning my internship. But I promise, as soon as I'm finished, I'll be right here spending every free moment I have with you."

"So when's the internship going to start?"

"I'm not sure. I'll find out all of that tomorrow I guess."

A knock on my bedroom door and a traitor yawn coincide. I know that that knock means it's time for Edward to leave and I get angry at the intrusion. _It's too soon! He just got here! I want a few more hours at least. _But then I yawn again and I know that, even if I had convinced him to stay earlier he would have changed his mind saying something stupid like I need my rest._ As if!_

We get up off of my bed and walk to the bedroom door, having agreed that I wouldn't walk him to the front door. I might break down and that just isn't me. I kiss him tenderly and will the moment to last a bit longer.

Eventually we break away and I watch Edward walk away from me once more and it hurts. The only thing that stops me from crying myself to sleep is knowing that I'll see him again in the morning. Regardless of that knowledge however I still sleep fretfully. _'Morning cannot come fast enough'_ is all I remember thinking to myself as I toss and turn restlessly throughout the night.

~twi~twi~twi~

Saturday morning runs slowly for me. Tyler goes his usual through his usual routine of wanting to be with his mother all through the day and so my job is made a little easier. Rose's pregnancy hasn't been easy on him, like somehow he's sensing that he's no longer going to be the baby and so he's soaking up as much of her attention as he can. However, with little to do I have too much time on my hands with which to obsess over when Edward will be here. In an attempt to distract myself from my neurosis I cook, clean my room, play with Tyler while Rose naps and begin studying for my finals. I even call Renee, which I don't ever do, it's usually the other way around. We don't stay on the phone too long because she's a bit busy. Before I know it I hear an engine and the tingling sensation in my skin lets me know that Edward is finally hear.

With no reservation I launch myself at Edward, wrapping my legs around his waist and smothering him in kisses. I am drawn out of my momentary lapse of social decorum by the mortifying sounds of catcalls and laughter. I pull away from his lips but as I try to dismount Edward tightens his grip and whispers in my ear: "I suggest, for your sake and mine that you stay right where you are for a little while." The confusion is immediately cleared up as he shifts his hips for emphasis. "Oh. My bad?"

"No. Your good" he chuckles.

"Ehem. Are you two planning to separate any time soon?" comes Rose's voice from somewhere behind me. I look at Edward and he slowly lowers me down his body. I notice he's still not entirely calm so I turn around in his arms and face my tormentors.

"You two are such peeping Tom's. Don't you know it's rude to intrude on people's private moments?"

Rose looks a little abashed and Emmett tries his hardest to seem less amused than he really is. "I guess since you two so desperately want a show Edward and I should give you one…what do you say Edward?" His groan is all the answer I need.

I turn into him again and resume my attack on his mouth. He throws himself into the kiss with reckless abandon and I hear Rose and Emmett chuckle. Pretty soon I'm too far gone to notice anything but the feel, taste, smell and sound of Edward surrounding me.

Fortunately for my sense of decency and to save myself from future embarrassment Edward breaks the kiss. I say fortunately but I don't feel very grateful for his thoughtfulness right now. I will later though...I'm pretty sure of it. He chuckles at, most likely, my less than pleased facial expression. He leans down and whispers directly into my ear: I know how you feel believe me but we can't do this here. Besides Tyler seems to want your attention but I promise you I'll make it up to you later.

With that he kisses my earlobe and turns me around to face the little tyke. Of course my face is flushed, my breathing is heavy and my mind is dazed but I immediately switch gears into nanny mode.

"Hey little man. What's up? Are you hungry? Yeah? Okay let's get you some of that yummy rice cereal." I know he prefers the oats but we're all out of the oat cereal right now so he's just going to have to bear with it until we go to the grocery this afternoon.

After a backward glance at Edward I tote Tyler into the kitchen and deposited him into his highchair. He gobbles down his cereal but not in the way he would if it were the oats or one of his purees.

"Rose, what time are we heading to the grocery? The rice cereal's almost finished, the oats completely done and we need some more fresh veggies so I can puree them."

"Shoot. We were supposed to go to the grocery today? I completely forgot. I told mom and dad that I was coming over this afternoon with Tyler and Em...can't you go on your own? I'll make a list of what I want and well you know what we need for the house and for Ty."

"No problem. Um...I'll just go get ready to go now then. Or would you like me to get him cleaned up first?"

"No, it's okay. I'll go clean him up while you're getting changed. We'll leave together...well, at the same time. Edward you have your car right?"

"Yup. Sounds like a plan."

Rose and I head towards the bedrooms. It's only as I try to close my door that I realize Edward was right behind me. I quirk my eyebrow at him and all he does is flash his dazzling crooked smile at me. _Oh well._

Before I could act on my desires I hear Rose's voice calling to me "Don't you dare get distracted Isabella Swan! Now move it." I have no choice but to laugh. _Rose knows me so well._

I take a quick shower hyper aware that Edward is only a doorway away. Granted we've been in such close proximities before but the time we spent apart has seriously made me more sensitive to his presence.

I quickly change and soon we lock up the house and Edward and I are on our way to the grocery, list carefully secured in my handbag.

I make quick work of the necessities and as I make my way to the cash register, double checking that I have everything, I notice a few stowaways in the cart. _What the hell? I don't remember picking up mushrooms. Rose doesn't eat it, Tyler never eats it...I'm the only one in the house who eats it so I wouldn't pick it up as part of the household groceries…_

_Edward._

"When did you put this in the cart?"

"When you were busy choosing out which peppers and tomatoes were suitable. I realized you didn't take any and I know how you love them so I took the liberty of putting some in for you. There are a few other things in there that you didn't have on your list. I hope you don't mind. I just felt they were essentials." it's things like this that just make me want to kiss him senseless! He's so sweet. Not many people would think to do something so small yet so considerate and yet here he was always thinking of the small things, putting me and my needs first.

At the cashier's, before I could even reach into my purse to get my card out, somehow Edward manages to get his swiped, paying for the groceries.

When we get back into the car I turn to him and say "you didn't have to do that you know. I was going to pay."

"I know you would have but as long as I'm with you, you don't have to pay a dime for anything you need or desire."

"That's very sweet of you but-"

"Just say thank you Bella." The set of his jaw tells me that no other response would be accepted and so, with my chin jutted out and my teeth clenched tightly, I mumble a very ungracious thank you. _And the bastard has the nerve to smirk! Argh!_

I'll find some way to pay him back for all that money he just spent on household groceries; for a house he doesn't even live in no less!

Walking into the house my cell phone chirps in my pocket. The caller id notifies me that it's Renee and all I can think is it's been less than twenty four hours since I spoke to her but I answer anyway.

* * *

**Okay, so I know realistically, Edward shouldn't be able to get so much time away from the hospital but, guess what, this is fiction so I am using creative license. Forgive me? By the way…do you like the idea of him transferring to NYU to be closer to Bella? I like it…then again I wrote it…lol.**

**By the way…the personal hell that I suffer through (school) is off right now (yay!) but soon to start again…oh great. Have mercy! [Watching reruns of 'Full House', gotta love Uncle Jesse right? Haha] it won't be as hectic once it starts back though so we should be fine.**

Check out my new blog dedicated solely to fanfiction lunarskkyfanfiction . weebly. com


	12. I need you to hold me

EPOV

**But human beings do not perceive things whole; we are not gods but wounded creatures, cracked lenses, capable only of fractured perceptions- John Fowles 'Daniel Martin'**

Just looking at Bella's face I knew something was wrong. The only problem was that there was nothing I could do to fix it until she came off the phone. She excuses herself from the room and walks away from me talking in hushed tones.

What's going on?

In an attempt to distract myself from the increasing worry and the crippling urge to protect Bella I decide to unpack the groceries we just got.

This does not provide as much distraction as I would like since I have trained myself to think about many things at the same time. Being a medical student required such intense multi tasking that the trivial task which I am undertaking does little more than provide my arms with something to do. Mercifully Bella returns shortly, less than mercifully her eyes are red and her cheeks are tear stained.

"What's wrong, lo- Bella?"

"It's my mom. She's in the hospital. They say it's critical. I have to go there as soon as possible, they don't know how long she has left if they don't figure out what's wrong with her soon."

"What? Did they say what was wrong with her? That was kind of sudden though, I mean did she give any hint that anything was wrong with her when you last spoke to her?"

"No. Not a hint. They said that she that she collapsed in the middle of the grocery. They don't know what exactly is wrong but they're doing everything they can to figure it out. But there's only so much they can do 'in her condition', whatever that means. I need to be there for her. She's my mom. This is so scary. I don't know if I can deal with this on my own but I know you can't come with me because you already took so much time away from school, I mean you came all the way here just to see me and I'm leaving and I don't know how I'm going to tell Rose especially right now when she's gonna need me the most. I feel so-"

"Just calm down. Breathe. One thing at a time sweetheart. First things first we need to contact Rose."

"Oh my God! Your parents are going to think I'm so rude! They just got her and I have to leave. I still don't know how I'm going to manage that by the way considering I have finals coming up. Maybe I can work something out with my lecturers to do the exam online. Or maybe...God I don't know what to do."

"Bella."

"Yes?"

"One step at a time please. First step is call Rose. It's too late too call the school; maybe we can send them an email."

"Okay. Call Rose. I can do that."

While Bella is speaking to Rosalie on the phone I can't help but feel a little helpless and irritated at myself that there is nothing I could do to help Bella feel better. _She's clearly in distress and the best advice I can offer her is __to keep calm? What load of horse shit is that?_ I mean here she is with her mother clinging to life and a bunch of useless doctors telling her they don't know what's wrong and she can't even turn to me for support. What's the point of being in a relationship if you couldn't lean on your partner for strength and support in these kinds of situations. I wouldn't blame her one bit if she decides that I'm not the man she thought I was; not the man she deserves.

I just hope that she'll at least break it to me easy or even better, but less likely, she'll give me a chance to make it up to her, in what ever way I can.

I watch as she fidgets while waiting for Rosalie to pick up and I do the only thing I can to help in that moment, I provide some comfort through physical contact.

I listen as she talks with Rose and though my mind is too clouded with dark thoughts to register what it is she's saying, I do note her anxious tone. _I wish there is something I could do._

* * *

BPOV

**One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is love- Sophocles**

I dial the number and fuss with my hair while I wait for her to pick up. I feel the comforting hands of the man I love still my movements, offering me his calm when I need it most. But even still my mind is going in circles. _What could have caused her to collapse just like that? Why couldn't they figure out what was wrong with her? What could I possibly do to help if I go there anyway? It's not like I have a medical degree, I mean not even the doctors know what to do so what could I do? But none of that matters, I have to go! _

"Hey Bella. What's up?"

"Rose! Oh my God. I need you."

"Bella! What's wrong? Why are you crying? Are you hurt? Where's Edward?"

"He's right here. But it's Renee. Something's wrong, they say she's in critical condition and they can't diagnose her."

"Oh my God. I'm so sorry Bella. What are you going to do?"

"I have to go there. They say they don't know how much longer she has so I want to be there when, if, things don't work out."

"I understand. But, how are you going to do that though. Don't you have school? Or at least exams?"

"Yes I do. Honestly, I don't know how I'm going to work this out but I know that I have to."

"Go be with your mom. If there's anything I can do to help let me know okay?"

"Thank you Rose. I knew you would understand. If only I could work something out just as easily with the school."

"Try, you never know, maybe there is some possibility that you can get a special allowance."

"I will. I gotta go, bye."

"Will you be there when I get home?"

"I'm not sure. If all goes according to plan, no." What I want to add but don't is the fact that I doubt I'll be that lucky considering it is the weekend and no one will be in the office until Monday, unless there's some sort of miracle. _By then it might be to late._

"Oh, ok, well, have a safe trip. Bye."

With that out of the way I walk towards my room to get my laptop. I have no idea what I am going to write in that email but I know that whatever it is it has to be convincing enough for administration to grant me the necessary leave.

Edward and I sit on the bed while I power up my mac air.

"What should I write?"

"The truth. That you are currently in the middle of a family emergency and you need to get to D. C. as soon as possible. That your mom is in critical condition and you need to be by her side. That you want to know if there is some way you can go there and not have to repeat the entire semester, not have to miss your exams."

As he speaks I type.

_Dear Ms. Cope,_

_My name is Isabella Swan and I am emailing you to notify you of the predicament that I have found myself in. My mother is in critical condition in a hospital in Washington DC and the doctors called me an hour ago to tell me that I need to come in as soon as possible because they don't know how much longer she has. I was wondering if there was some way in which I could go there and still somehow be able to obtain the necessary credits I need from the classes I'm doing now to graduate with the rest of my class. I know it won't be possible to do the exam with them but I really don't want to have to repeat an entire semester because of circumstances beyond my control. Could you please tell me what I can do._

_Sincerely,_

_Isabella_.

When I look up from sending the e-mail I notice, for the first time, the strange expression on Edward's face. He looks dejected and angry at the same time and I'm not exactly sure what brought those emotions on. Is he upset that I have to leave and he can't come with me? _I don't get it._

"Edward? What's wrong?"

He doesn't look at me, instead he sinks even further into whatever dark mood that is surrounding him and furrows his brow.

"Edward, please look at me. Are you mad at me?"

"What? No, of course not Bella. Why would I be mad at you? You could never do anything that could make me mad at you."

"So then what's wrong? Why won't you make eye contact?" Even though he tells me that he isn't mad at me I can't help but feel like he is, like I did or said something wrong and didn't realize it. My eyes sting with tears and my face heats up with the unspoken accusation.

"Oh God. Now I'm making you cry! Shit. I can't do anything right. I'm so sorry Bella. Please forgive me. I know I'm a shitty boyfriend who can't even help you in your time of need and who makes you cry because he's too busy feeling sorry for himself to notice that he might be hurting your feelings. I'm such an idiot. Can you ever find it in your heart to forgive me?"

What the hell is he talking about? Nothing that he just said makes any sense to me so I ask him to explain, and I regret it as soon as he finishes his explanation.

I made this beautiful man, who is so far out of my league, feel unworthy of me? Feel as though he let me down? In what twisted universe is something like that acceptable? It certainly isn't this one.

"There's nothing to forgive Edward. There are things in this world that you aren't going to be able to help me with sweetheart, and this is one of them. You can't do anything to make Renee miraculously better, you can't even work out this whole thing with NYU for me, but what you can do is just be there for me, let me lean on you, be a receptive ear, a strong shoulder and a warm embrace. That's all I need from you right now. I don't want you to be my knight in shining armor because a knight is of no use to me in this situation. So stop beating yourself up about your imagined shortcomings okay?"

And I watch as my beautiful, tortured knight, sheds his armor for the night and transforms himself into a man that I could love, into the man that I love absolutely and irrevocably.

I lean into him as I try to process the next step.

"Carlisle!" Edward blurts out so suddenly that it startles me.

"What? Were you supposed to meet him somewhere or something?"

He grins down at me and I begin to wonder what I'm missing, because clearly its something big for him to be this excited.

"I figured out how I can help you Bella. But I need to talk to my dad first." As he's telling this to me he's also dialing his father's number into his phone.

I get up to use the bathroom and give him some privacy to work out whatever it is he thinks he's figured out, with his father.

When I get back in the room his grin is impossibly brighter.

"Come on."

"What? Where are we going?"

"To see Carlisle."

_Of course. Why didn't I think of that? Oh I know why, because he said he needed to speak with him not see him. What am I going to wear? The first impression I gave wasn't so good so I need to really shine this time around._

As if sensing my thoughts Edward comes over to me and takes my chin in his hands and tells me that I look beautiful and therefore I don't need to change.

"Edward I can't go see your parents looking like this! They'll think I'm some kind of-"

"They'll think nothing. My parents don't care about the superficial stuff, Bella. Trust me when I say this but they love you already. They're trying to figure out how they can legally adopt you and Rose as their own, that's how much they like you two."

"Are you sure? You better not be saying that just to make me feel better!"

"Why would I lie about something like that?"

"Fine. Let's go."

The drive to the house that they're staying in is surprisingly short. When the car pulls to a stop however, and I am fully able to look at the house, my breath catches. _How much money do these people have? _I mean I guessed they were loaded from the way Edward would fling money about but, to stay in a place like this for longer than a weekend would cost a butt load of money...

I begin to feel even less worthy of the man standing next to me now but, like he always does, he distracts me from my self pity with a simple touch.

As we get to the door it is thrown open and Esme rushes out to hug me.

"Bella! It's so good to see you. What brings you by?"

"Honestly I'm not sure. Edward insisted."

"For once my son does something that I approve of when it comes to your relationship. As you can tell I'm still not over the fact that it took this long before we could actually meet you" she says lightheartedly.

I can't help but smile at her less than subtle way of berating Edward.

"Mom I told you a million times Bella was busy I couldn't very well drag her to Seattle just to meet you guys in the middle of her busy schedule."

"I agree, except for the part where she was in Forks for a weekend not too long ago. We could have flown down, or you could have flown her out to meet us. I wasn't looking for a month long bonding session just a simple introduction."

_Oh great, now I feel guilty._

But before the feeling could truly sink in Esme continues her little speech as she escorts us to the living room.

"I know that Bella would never impose herself on us like that so she would not have suggested it but I would think that I raised you well enough Edward Anthony that you would take the initiative in incidences like these."

_Ouch, she brought out the full named. He is in some serious trouble._

I try not to laugh but a snicker breaks through and the betrayed expression on Edward's face as he looks at me causes the hysterics to break loose.

"Baby, you're laughing at me? You're not even trying to defend me? That is so hurtful."

"Nice try Edward but I understand where your mom is coming from. It is kinda rude. Besides I introduced you to Charlie very early on in our relationship. You had a full weekend to bond with him."

"Babe!"

"What?" I try to hold back the laughter, I really do, but it's just too hard. He walked right into that with his parents.

"Yes I heard about that little vacation. Which just makes me feel even worse. Are you ashamed of us Edward? By the way Bella, if I didn't love you so much already, the fact that you can bust his chops and he remains silent through the whole thing makes me love you even more."

"Mom! I can't believe you two are ganging up on me right now! Where's dad? He's bound to be on my side."

"I doubt that sweetheart considering he was also shunned by you. Bella can I get you anything to drink while my ungrateful son looks for his father?"

"This is unbelievable. How did I get myself into this? Dad? We're here, please help me!"

I chuckle and tell Esme that I'm fine for now.

"I'd love a glass of orange juice mom" Edward says with a teasing glint in his eye.

"How nice for you dear. You know where the kitchen is."

Not two seconds later Carlisle walks in, all smiles.

"Bella. It's so good to see you dear" he says as he walks up to me and gives me a kiss on the cheek.

"What the hell? Is this some sort of conspiracy? I'm right here dad." Then he turns to me and says "I never get this kind of reception from them, not even Emmett who they only see at the big events gets anything more than a 'welcome home son' and a pat on the back."

"Yes well that's because I'm clearly awesome and you guys aren't" I tease and his parents break out into loud guffaws. Edward just stands there stunned.

"Okay I think we can let him off the hook now don't you Esme. He looks like he's about to start stomping his foot like a petulant child. Look at that pout" I say to Esme.

"Oh alright, but I was having so much fun. It's not often I get to tease Edward like this."

She walks up to him and gives him an affectionate kiss on his cheek and his pout is immediately gone. _He is so spoiled!_

By this time we are all seated comfortably in the living room, in varying positions of relaxation. Esme and Carlisle look so at home in each other's arms and the love they feel for each other radiates from their very essence that I can't help but hope that I can someday have something like that, preferably with Edward.

Edward clears his throat and everyone immediately sits up and pays attention to him.

"Okay so the reason we're here right now" he begins, then mumbles something quite unintelligible, even to me and I'm sitting right next to him on the loveseat, before he continues with "is that Bella just got a phone call from a hospital in DC saying that her mother is in critical condition and she needs to go there as soon as possible. I already told you all of this dad but, for mom's sake I'm going to repeat it. The doctors don't know what's wrong and so they don't know how much longer she has. So I proposed to dad that maybe he could call them and check it out and he said that he'll see what he can do."

"Yes, I called and they said that they wouldn't be able to give me that kind of information over the phone and especially without the express permission of her daughter. So its a good thing you decided to bring her with you Edward because I need Bella to agree to something."

"What's that Carlisle?" I ask eagerly. Anything to make this situation run smoother is fine by me.

"Well I was wondering if you wouldn't mind if I accompanied you to the hospital. I'm not trying to intrude on what could possibly be the last moments you have with your mother but i'm hoping I could help the doctors figure this thing out. Maybe stretch out the time your mother has left a little."

"And pass up on having a familiar face in a city I've never been to in a period of intense distress? No way. Would you really do that? For me? Why?"

"Because my son is clearly very smitten with you, and you deserve to have someone in your corner while you're there."

"Oh thank you, thank you, thank you!" I rush up from my seat and hug Carlisle, almost knocking him over with my enthusiasm. _If it wouldn't be so awkward I would kiss him right now._

He chuckles softly and pats my back telling me that I was 'most welcome'. This family has such an odd way of speaking...

The rest of the evening is spent planning out the schematics of the trip. Carlisle says he'll go on ahead before me promising to do all that he can to help Renee. Esme apologizes for being unable to go with me, which is ultimately absurd, and I tell her so; she has no obligation to me regardless of what she may think.

Eventually Carlisle and Esme go off to do their own thing and Edward escorts me to his room.

Its simple design screams temporary living but that doesn't detract from its utter elegance and luxury. The one hundred percent pure Egyptian cotton on the bed feels like heaven and all I want to do is curl up in a ball and never leave them.

"Comfortable?" Edward teases and I can't help but blush.

"Extremely. This bed, these sheets, I could sleep here forever and never want to get up."

"That sounds fine to me. When can you move in?"

"Don't tempt me."

Instead of saying anything Edward just smiles, but there is something hidden behind his eyes, something I can't quite identify, but it sends shivers up my spine at its intensity.

"What?" I ask, my curiosity getting the better of me.

"Nothing."

"Edward" I say in the best 'no nonsense' tone I could muster.

"It's just that I was picturing what it would be like if we did move in together, having you to wake up next to every morning."

"You were? And was it good or bad?"

"Isabella, how can you not know by now that anything that involves you would be a good idea to me?"

The blush on my face is unmatched in its brightness and my heart flutters at the meaning behind what he just said to me.

"I- I don't know what to say to that Edward."

"You don't have to say anything, I just want you to know how much you mean to me, Bella. You came into my world and you changed it so completely I can barely remember what my life was like before you, in fact I don't want to remember what it was like. If you were to ever decide that I am not worthy of your love I would be destroyed forever; my life would be meaningless without you. I'm sure of that."

"Edward-"

"Wait. I have to say this Bella. I need you to understand how important you are to me, how much my heart has grown simply because I have been lucky enough to know you. I know we've only known each other for a short time and I don't want to scare you away but I can't go on pretending that I don't feel the way I feel about you; I can't hide it anymore. I love you Isabella Marie Swan, with every fiber of my being, every ounce of my existence. You are the most exquisite, perfect creature that I have ever been blessed to know and I can only hope that you feel for me a fraction of what I feel for you, then I would be the most loved man on this planet. I'm not expecting you to say that you love me, I don't expect that, but I hope that you're willing to try."

I can't let this man go on continuing to think that I don't love him, that he is somehow undeserving of me. _What a silly thing for him to believe._ In what world could someone as wonderful as Edward be unworthy of a unremarkable woman like me. It is simply illogical and needs to be immediately corrected.

"Can I say something?"

"Please."

"I'm not as good with words as you are, at least not with the words that count, so I'm gonna say this the best way I can. Edward Anthony Cullen, I love you. Do you hear me? I love you. I know that I can never be your equal in many ways but _believe me_ when I say that _you_ are my world now. Life before you was tolerable, life with you is indescribable, but life without you is unfathomable. There is no life without you. No one has ever loved a man as much as I love you Edward, trust this."

"You love me?"

"Yes!"

He doesn't give me a chance to say anything else because he captures my lips in a fierce, passionate kiss. And in that moment all is right with the world because the man that I love feels the same way about me.

* * *

**Did you notice the almost slip that Edward had earlier? If you caught it good for you!**

**Leave me a review and let me know what you think. Especially about the professions of love... was it what you were expecting it to be? Is it too early in the story/relationship? Did you see it coming?**

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**Now that I'm finished pimping...stay tuned!**

**Completely off-topic but who do you think should win dancing with the stars?**


	13. And then the world turns cold

**A/N: Before we begin another page in Edward and Bella's story I would just like to announce that *drum rolls* I am now officially Beta'ing for SaDiablo19, a story called Sink or Swim. It's an HP fanfic, told from the point of view of a muggle. You should definitely check it out, but not because I'm beta'ing for her or anything…**

**Anyway let's get on with it.**

* * *

**BPOV**

**Happiness consists not in having what you want, but in wanting what you have- unknown.**

A knock on the door breaks our kiss but does nothing to remove the emotions bubbling just below the surface. We arrange ourselves in a slightly more appropriate manner suitable for his parents to see us in.

After Edward tells whoever is at the door to enter a blond head peeks around its frame.

"I'm sorry to interrupt kids but I just got a call from a colleague of mine, I need to leave right away to Rhode Island. I shouldn't be gone long, but when I return it'll be just so I can pack for the Washington trip. If any of you want to reach me I'll have my cellphone on me at all times. Esme will be here the entire time as well so if you ever need someone to speak to Bella, she's here."

"Thank you Carlisle."

"No problem dad."

We say our goodbyes but his departure is a stark reminder of the problem at hand and serves as a cold shower to my high emotions.

"Oh God."

"Bella, please, just try to stay positive about this okay. Carlisle said he would help you figure this out. The more heads on this the better. Who knows, maybe his perspective would be just what they need to make your mother better."

"I hope you're right."

But I can't help the sudden feeling of despair that runs through me and it forces me lay back on Edward's bed to recuperate.

"I'll be right back okay love?"

The thrills that run through me as Edward says that is indescribable and it's all I can do not to burst into song like they do in those Disney movies. Granted I would sound nothing like those princesses, or even the Wicked Step Mother, but the joy I feel is so great that I wouldn't care if I'm embarrassing myself or not.

I watch closely as he walks out the room and as he closes the door I throw myself back onto his pillow and close my eyes.

* * *

**EPOV**

**Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude – Denis Waitley.**

I need to get a grip on myself for a minute. I need to process everything that's been going on. On the lowest end of the spectrum, but in no way an insignificant event, is Bella's mother suddenly falling sick ultimately turning both their worlds and mine upside down. I know it's selfish of me to say that _her_ mother's illness turned _my_ world upside down but it's the God's honest truth. The implications of such an occurrence meant that, so soon after our reunion Bella would have to leave. Seeing her walk away from me the first time was hard enough, now, with all that I know, how can I let her walk away from me again?

At the very top of that spectrum? Bella saying that she loves me is possibly the most magical words ever spoken. Her saying that she loved me more than any man that has ever been loved causes my knees to buckle, my heart to stutter and my mind to explode at the thought. How can she love someone as flawed, as unworthy as me? She could do so much better than me; she deserved so much more than me. Regardless of how I might feel I was not about to enlighten her though.

Falling somewhere in between was Bella's asinine belief that she was somehow the lesser in our relationship. Her skewed view of herself has caused her to be blinded to the true facts, that it was _she_ who brought the most to the table and _I_ who was left struggling to keep up. Her love, her compassion, her truly trusting nature, her innocence, her brilliance, her beauty. The list of the ways she had me beat in this relationship is endless and yet she could not see it. I have to make her see how special she truly is, and I have to do it fast.

By the time all these thoughts have run through my head I find myself in the kitchen staring unseeing into the fridge.

"What are you looking for son?"

"Honestly I don't know."

"Very well then. You want me to leave?"

"That's not necessary mom. Hey what kind of dessert do we have left? Bella's still feeling kind of down and I know how much she loves sugar…"

"All we have are those chocolate chip cookies over there. but if you're willing to wait I could whip something up…"

"It's okay. The cookies will be fine. Thanks mom."

I pour a glass of milk and assemble some cookies onto a plate and make my way up to my bedroom. I hadn't been lying when I told Bella that I could picture us living together. It would be the most glorious thing she could do for me. I hadn't meant for it to lead into a confession of love but I am glad it did. I just hope she doesn't think I'm trying to pressure her into it, or that I'm moving too fast or anything like that. I just wanted her to know that it was an option for us.

As I open the bedroom my breath catches. The angel in my bed looks right at home and perfect asleep in my bed, where she belongs. My heart breaks however because I know that that is a reality which is a long way off for us. She had her commitment to Rose to consider, her obligation to her mother and I had a very decidedly unsure future back in Washington.

I make my way to bed and carefully slip into it. Bella automatically draws closer to me and my heart swells at how easily she comes to me, even in her sleep. As she sleeps I think of our relationship, how it started, how it has grown, and where it will go next.

. - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . -

Morning always comes too quickly when I'm with Bella. Luckily she's still asleep so I get to steal a few more precious moments with her before she has to return to Rose's.

I debate whether I should get up and make her breakfast or wait with her until she gets up so we can make breakfast together. The decision is made for me however when she stirs in my arms.

"Good morning love" I say to her and watch as her cheeks tint red. I understand how she feels. The rush that goes through me as I am finally able to display my true feelings to her is none that I have ever felt before and one that I am eager to feel whenever and for as long as I can.

"Good morning."

I lean down to capture her lips with my own but she pulls away.

I frown and quirk my eyebrow questioningly at her.

In response she covers her mouth and turns away from me. As understanding hits I chuckle and pull her to me. I remove her hand gently and do what I've been longing to all night, and kiss her with everything within me.

When we both need to breathe I reluctantly pull away.

"I have an extra toothbrush in the bathroom if you'd like to use it. What do you want for breakfast?"

"Um...whatever's easiest."

_Silly Bella. Always trying to not be a burden. When will she ever understand that I am at her disposal and will do anything she requires of me and more?_

We both make our way to my bathroom. I know I should probably give her some privacy but I'm not ready to leave her side just yet. Besides she's only brushing her teeth. If she wanted to do anything else I would leave, grudgingly, but I would.

As we finish brushing our teeth we descend the stairs and I smell something delicious wafting out from the kitchen.

"I guess breakfast's already taken care of."

"Esme?'

And she didn't need to say the next words out of her mouth for me to know what she was thinking. I knew her well enough to know she would be thinking that my mom went through too much trouble.

"She didn't-"

"But she did. So just shut up and enjoy the food" I tell her teasingly. She pouts adorably and all I can think is: _I wish we were alone._

Mom, as if sensing my thought excused herself from the kitchen. I'm not one to pass up an opportunity so as soon as she is out of sight I lift Bella into my lap.

She squeals and squirms and playfully swats at my arms, trying in vain to escape my vise grip.

"Resistance is futile little lamb, you will bend to my will sooner or later" I whisper in her ear.

She giggles and I can't help but laugh right along with her.

After breakfast I head up stairs to take a shower and change to drop Bella off at Rose's. I have a few errands to run but I'll check in with her as soon as I'm finished.

. - . - . - . - . –

The second meeting with dad's colleagues went well and I am guaranteed an internship with them to make up the hours I need to while I'm here in New York. It finishes a lot sooner than I expected, within two hours, and Mr. McCarty tells me that I'm free to leave.

I leave the building as quickly as I can because being surrounded by so many stiff, proper men makes me crave Bella's company, more than I ever have before.

I try to stay within the speed limit but it's hard because I know that the faster I drive the quicker I'll be reunited with my heart. _One confession of love and I turn into a big sap...if Emmett knew I would never hear the end of it._

I didn't call because I wanted to surprise Bella. She doesn't know what time I'll be finished with everything I have to do today but I did tell her that I'd try my best to see her before the day was over.

I pull into the driveway and notice that all the windows are closed and there are no cars in the drive. _Strange._

Also strange is the fact that Bella usually greets me at the door whenever I come over, but today she doesn't. _Maybe she's busy with the little guy._

I get out of the car and rush up the walkway to the front door and ring the doorbell. No answer.

_Hmmm..._

I wait a few more seconds and ring it again. Still nothing.

_What the hell?_

I pull out my cellphone and dial Bella's number.

_"I'm sorry the call could not be connected as dialed. Please hang up and try again."_

_What? Bella never ignores my calls._

I don't want to sound cocky or anything but Bella always answers when I call, always. Something's wrong.

I try again.

"Hi, you've reached Bella. I can't come to the phone right now but if it's urgent you can always leave a message and I promise to get back to you as soon as I can."

Okaaay then...

"Bella, it's me Edward. When you get this can you give me a call? I'm heading back to the house. I'm at Rose's right now, I was hoping to see you but you're not here...um...I thought you would have been here. Anyway...um...I'll talk to you later. Bye. I love you.

I return to my car and, even though I hate driving while I'm distracted, that's exactly what I do.

I should have waited it out at Rose's because the next thing I know is there are horns blaring at me and I'm on the wrong side of the road driving head on into oncoming traffic. And then everything goes black.

* * *

**I'm thinking of doing a sequel so where should I end this story? Should I resolve the issue with Renee first or should I carry that over into the sequel? Let me know. If I don't get any responses I'll end it here and move into the sequel right away…**

**Be sure to check my facebook, website, and poll on my profile while you wait for an update...**


	14. How is my heart still beating?

**It's a pretty short one but I hope you'll enjoy it!**

* * *

**BPOV**

**Chaos is a friend of mine- Bob Dylan**

I know I should have called Edward first but, everything just happened so quickly that it just slipped my mind- until now that is. I feel so guilty that I forgot to tell the man I love that I was leaving for D.C.

He had dropped me off and went about his business leaving me to my own devices. I checked on Tyler and then decided to check my e-mail on the off chance that Ms. Cope, the student advisory administrator, had responded to me. My heart nearly skipped a beat when I realized that she did.

_Dear Isabella Marie,_

_I was sorry to learn of your unfortunate circumstances. It would be advisable that you contact your lecturers as soon as possible explaining to them your situation. The course of action which you should take with regards to your examinations should be left at their discretion. In my humble opinion however I believe you should go to your mother; family is much more important than school at this point. If you decide to take my advice on this matter please be sure to inform your academic advisor as well as your lecturers of your decision._

_Sincerely,_

_A. Cope._

_Student Advisory Administrator I_

_She thinks I should leave?_

That was all the confirmation I needed.

I immediately began packing my bags. I called Rose to let her know of my impending departure after which I booked the next flight out. Somehow in between getting ready for my flight, dropping Tyler off for Rose and heading to the airport it never occurred to me that I needed to call Edward.

As I get on the airplane however and the pilot announces that all cellphones need to be switched off it hits me like a freight train. _Shit! I didn't tell Edward where I was!_ I just hope that by the time he decides to check up on me I'll be off this plane so that I could answer his call.

I don't want him to worry.

The flight is uneventful and I sleep through the whole thing.

"Good evening again passengers, we're just rounding into Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport right now. We should be landing in the next five minutes. Please fasten your seatbelts and make sure your seat and tray is in an upright position. Thank you for choosing JETBLUE AIRWAYS" comes the deep baritone of the pilot.

I comply with his instructions and before long we are being directed off of the airplane.

As soon as it's safe to do so I switch my phone back on. And it notifies me that I have three missed calls and a voice mail. All the missed calls are from Edward and I suspect that the voice message is from him as well.

I press one on my speed dial and am immediately connected with my voice inbox. His velvet voice is laced with worry. Poor Edward, I made him worry.

_I have to call him!_

I press two on speed dial and it just rings non stop. No answer.

_Huh._

I try again. Still no answer.

Once more and still nothing. Maybe he's busy. He'll call me back as soon as he notices my missed calls.

Putting the unanswered calls in the back of my mind I adjust my hand luggage and hail a taxi. I give him the address of the hospital and we are on our way.

But somehow the fact that Edward didn't answer the phone battles its way back to the forefront of my mind. I pull out my phone and call again.

Still nothing. _What the hell?_

This is ridiculous. What could he possibly be doing that he can't get to the phone?

My old insecurities resurface and a number of reasons for his lack of response comes to mind. _What if he decided that I wasn't worth the trouble? What if he got tired of me not answering my phone and is punishing me for it by not answering now? What if something happened to him?_ My stomach clenches at that thought because I can't imagine something hurting Edward. I just couldn't.

Before the anxiety hits me and I totally flip out the driver tells me that we've arrived. _Huh? Already? That was quick. _I didn't even get a chance to look at the scenery. _Maybe later._

I walk to the reception desk and ask for Renee's room.

Walking to the room my heart is gripped with dread. Do I really want to see Renee like this? Do I really want to take the responsibility of having an ailing mom? Could I handle the responsibility? All these thoughts and more run through my head and the resounding yes that answers all of them gives me strength and makes my steps more sure.

But what I see when I walk into that room I could not have prepared for with all the pep talks in the world. I was delusional to think I was strong enough to handle this.

Tears and strangled sobs escape my body in droves and I struggle to reign myself in.

Wires, monitors and a long clear plastic tube are all hooked up to a woman who I barely recognize as Renee. To add to the picture, her stomach is protruding from the rest of her body while her cheek bones are sunken in making me incapable of reconciling this image with the woman who raised me.

A hand on my shoulder causes me to scream and move away.

"I'm sorry to have startled you. My name is Dr. Jenks and I am your mother's primary doctor. Please have a seat. I'm so glad you could make it."

I sit in the faded blue plastic chair next to Renee's bed and look up at the doctor expectantly.

"Your mother's condition is still critical but has stabilized so we may have gained some more time to figure this thing out. You probably have a few questions for me?"

"Yes. A few. I don't know where to begin. You said that there's only so much you can do in 'her condition'. What did you mean by that?"

"She's pregnant dear. Can't you tell?"

_What?_

* * *

**I felt like this was a good place to end it. If you choose to review please let me know if you think this is a good place to stop and head into the sequel. I'm kinda divided on this so I need your help.**

**If you are reviewing I would also like to know what you think about Bella's reactions to everything that's happened in this chapter. Thanks!**

**Lunar ;D**


	15. Nothing makes sense anymore

**RPOV**

**(Couldn't think of a quote...sorry)**

"Would you like to go hang out with my parents today? I think it's time I told them about the baby. Besides Tyler's been hounding me to see them for the longest while. I'd really like it if you were there when I told them, a united front you know?" I nervously ask Emmett. I'm not usually this unsure around him, not for a long time now, but for some reason asking him to come with me to tell my parents about our child makes me feel like hiding behind something while asking.

"I thought you'd never ask."

The relief that floods through me as I see the pure joy on his face, is indescribable.

Then Bella reminds me that we were supposed to go on a grocery run. _I can't believe I spaced on that, so unlike me. This pregnancy is really hampering my concentration skills. _

But the problem is easily solved when she and Edward volunteer to do it together.

As I get Tyler and myself ready for the trip to my parents' house I can't help but think about the way Edward and Bella look at each other. Like two people who found their ultimate other half. Too bad none of them are willing to admit just how much the other means to them. _Maybe I should give them a little push to admit it? No. I should mind my own business. I have no right forcing people to admit their feelings when I won't even accept my own. _

I finish combing my hair and lift Tyler while Emmett takes his bag.

The drive is short but Tyler frets the whole way. His gums are irritated and the Anbesol has worn off. Emmett doesn't know the way to my parents house so I drive but Tyler won't allow Emmett to put the ointment on his gum so he has to suffer until we get to Mom and Dad's.

"It's okay baby. We're almost there. Just hold on a little bit longer for mommy and I promise I'll make it all better" I coo at him. But it does nothing to soothe his whimpers. Emmett looks torn, and I remember that he hates to see children suffer.

"Don't worry Emmett, we're almost there and the Anbesol will help. It'll stop his discomfort almost immediately. There's nothing we can do until then okay?"

"I know, it's just the poor guy is hurting and there's nothing I can do to stop it."

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Dinner with my parents so soon after spending the day with them is not something I typically do but when they heard that I was pregnant they were so ecstatic that I couldn't turn down their offer. I had just gotten into the OB/GYNs office when Bella called me and frantically explained that she had to go catch a flight to Washington. A regular employer would think she was making a habit of shirking her duties but considering all that that girl has been through she deserves someone in her corner every once in a while so I tell her to bring Tyler to me. It wasn't a big deal since Emmett was here anyway and could easily watch him for me. When she got there she looked frazzled and I could only imagine what was going through that little head of hers. Then the call from my parents came and I knew that any plans I had for where my day was going was definitely shot to hell.

The drive to my parents house took a little longer than usual because traffic was a bitch to get through but we eventually made it. Tyler didn't seem to notice the ride though so all was good.

Before dinner starts we sit in the living room making small talk. My mom is already making plans for her unborn grandchild and I indulge her in her fantasies because she's my mom and there was nothing else I could do. My dad is silent as usual but the smile on his face tells me that he harbors no ill will towards Emmett for knocking up his 'babygirl' out of wedlock. I've heard him say things like this a number of times so I wouldn't have been surprised if he had dropped that line when I told him yesterday. Emmett however is in his element. He babbles nonstop about the names he likes, some of which are absolutely, positively, not ever, going to be options. _Luke Skywalker Cullen? Really?_ The imagination on this man is immense!

Heidi, my parent's personal cook comes into the room and announces that dinner is ready and I immediately realize just how ravenous I am.

It's a pretty impressive spread, but all I seem to want from it are the steaming bread rolls and butter. I pick at my Shepherd's Pie but I inhale the turkey. _Who can pass up turkey? Not I!_

"Hello" Emmett says into his phone. He excuses himself from the dinner table and I watch him from the corner of my eye. And it's a good thing I was because I notice immediately as his knees buckle and a strangled sob escapes his throat.

I hurry from the table to his side. Tyler pads up behind me in his unsteady gait with a confused look on his face.

"Emmett! Emmett, what's wrong?" I ask. The only answer I receive is in the form of him gripping me in an almost painful embrace as he cries uncontrollably. _What could be wrong? Why is he crying? I've never seen Emmett cry, ever. He's always strong, happy, carefree, so what could cause him to break down? _

_His family._

_But what?_

I give him time to recover, rubbing his back soothingly, before I try to coax him into standing.

My dad comes over to help him up.

"It's Edward" he chokes out and my stomach clenches uncomfortably. I never hear what's wrong with Edward because I bolt for the bathroom, a host of ghastly scenarios coming to mind.

When my stomach releases all that I've eaten for the day I return to the living room where Mom is handing Emmett a glass of water.

"Rosie, I'm sorry, but I have to go."

"I'll come with you."

"No. Stay. I don't want you to get too worked up, besides you need to stay with Tyler."

"I want to come. Tyler can spend the night here, right Mom?"

"Of course darling" she responds without hesitation.

"Besides I can't leave you to go anywhere in this emotional state. I can't let you drive like this. You've always been there for me, let me do this for you."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes I'm sure."

We drive to the hospital in relative silence, the only sounds come from Emmett's sniffles. I'm still not sure what happened to Edward yet, but I'm too scared to know. I'll find out when we get there.

* * *

"Bella?" I was just about to call her but she beat me to it.

"Hey Rose. What's up? Have you seen Edward around? I've been trying to get him for the longest while but it just rings and rings. Is he mad at me or something?"

"Oh Bella. Edward was in a car accident. He's in a coma. The doctors say he might have brain damage."

"What? Oh God. No, no, no, no" is all I hear before a distant thud and the line disconnects.

_Shit!_

I redial her number immediately and silently curse myself for not having it on speed dial. _I mean what kind of mother doesn't have her child's nanny on speed dial? An irresponsible, self centered one, that's what!_

An unfamiliar voice answers after the third ring. _Huh?_

"Hello?"

"Hello? Who is this? I'd like to speak to Bella please."

_What does it mean that she doesn't answer the phone herself? I hope she's okay..._

"Yes, well Ms. Swan seem to have received some bad news. She fainted. Hold on she seems to be coming to, let me put you on to her."

I hear some muffled sounds, most likely random guy handing the phone over to Bella.

"H-hello?"

"Bella? Oh my God are you okay? I'm sorry to have to give the news to you over the phone but well...I had no other choice."

"Is he- is he- where are his parents? How are they taking it? How's Emmett taking it?"

"Emmett's trying to stay strong for his mom. He broke down earlier, when he first heard the news but his mom needs a shoulder right now. Carlisle is in the air right now. He was already on his way to DC when he heard the news so he had to catch the next flight back."

"Can I speak to Esme?"

"Sure."

I walk back into Edward's private room and hand the phone over to Esme. As soon as his mother is out of range Emmett's whole body deflates. It hurts me to know that there's nothing I can do to alleviate the worry he's feeling but there isn't. His little brother is in a coma and may possibly have brain damage. There's no making that better unless you have a medical degree which, sadly, I don't.

Not too long after, Carlisle arrives amidst a burst of chaos. He immediately locates Edward's doctor and the two of them huddle in a corner discussing his condition. Which makes sense from a professional and personal point of view. As a doctor he wants to have all the details and as a parent he wants to know how his son is doing.

As soon as he is briefed on the situation however he turns to his wife and embraces her lovingly and puts a gentle hand on Emmett's shoulder. It is such a heartbreaking scene to look upon. Every member of the Cullen family looks broken, trying to put on an air of bravado for the public. For me.

"How did it happen? I mean I know they say it was a car accident but Edward has never gotten into an accident before..." are the first words out of his mouth not directed to the medical staff. It's a question that has been plaguing me the entire time I've been here. Rationally I know that anyone can get into an accident and that no one can avoid it forever but I've seen Edward handle a vehicle and there is nothing but utter precision when he does.

"Well you know how recklessly he drives honey. They say he was speeding and lost control of the vehicle. Whether or not that's what really happened we have no way of finding out until he wakes up."

"But as fast as Edward drives he's always careful. Always. They say the only thing that saved him was the fact that he was wearing his seat belt. The airbag didn't deploy. We have grounds to sue there right Dad? I mean isn't it the car company's job to be sure that their shit is working? Sorry Mom."

"Yes it's their job to make sure their merchandise isn't defective but they will find a way to make this Edward's fault and throw out our case. It makes no sense fighting it son. Let's just leave it be. At least until he wakes up. Then we'll no which road we can take it as far as this thing goes."

Listening to them discussion their options I feel almost as if I'm intruding in family business so I get up from the couch and head to the door.

"Where are you going Rose? Are you feeling sick? Need me to carry you home?" came the worried voice of my personal teddy. Here he is worried sick about his brother who may possibly have brain damage and he still finds the time to think about my well being. _Why didn't I find this man sooner? Why can't I just say yes and allow him into my heart, my life, permanently? Because I'm a coward; a broken, untrusting, coward._

"No. I was just giving you all some privacy. This is a family matter." _And no matter how much you want me to be Emmett, I'm not family_ I finish in my head. Saying those words out loud would be too painful for him and for me.

"Nonsense Rosalie. You're just like family to us. I don't know when you and Bella will get that in your heads. Oh speaking of Bella Carlisle she said that it's no rush for you to go to DC. She knows that you want to be here for Edward and she'd understand if you don't make it. I tried to tell her that there's nothing you can do here until the swelling in his brain goes down and that you'll be there soon but she won't listen to me so I think you should call her."

My heart swells a the words she says and I see it in her eyes and her facial expression too. She really does accept me as a part of their life. But then the words she says sinks in. _Just like family. Not the same as you are family._

_But as they say, beggars can't be choosers right?_ So I suck it up and resume my seat on the oversized tan leather couch in the corner of Edward's private room and take in the features of the room in which Edward will spend the entirety of his stay here. The ugly blue walls clash with the mismatched furniture and I want to scream that if this utter disregard for the patients' surroundings is a reflection of their healthcare then maybe we should find Edward somewhere else to receive medical attention. But I don't because I was raised to be a civilized lady and that would be uncouth of me. Emmett is sitting on a black thatched lawn chair located next to a dated side table which is home to a beautiful crystalline vase. Carlisle stands next to...well I'll ignore that section of the room if I want the remainder of that hot dog I just bought to stay down.

Chipped paint, old furniture. This hospital spelt death. I just hope that it's not a bad omen for Edward.

* * *

**First off let me explain why I chose to go to Rose's POV instead of Bella's: 1)****I don't want that part of the story to be revealed just yet 2) I wanted you all to know how Edward was doing and how everyone took the news 3)we haven't heard from Rose in a while so there.**

**Next in order let me explain why it took so long to update: 1)real life commitments otherwise known as school has me doing presentations every week! 2)I wasn't sure how much I wanted Rose to say and I knew I wasn't switching POVs this chapter.**

**Lastly let me just say that this first part of Slowly Forward is winding down. I'm gonna wrap up the Edward situation as much as I can without drawing out Renee's mystery illness (which I have yet to decide on) too much. With that being said please note that the sequel will have some spill over from this one. **

**Thanks for reading!**

**Oh btw just so you know more story ideas are battling for dominance in my head so be on the look out for new stuff from me ;D**


	16. I could use somebody

**See Author's Note at end.**

* * *

**BPOV**

**The best way out, is through**

Hearing that Edward was in a coma was possibly the worst news I could have heard at that point. Not only did I have to deal with the utterly messed up situation that was my mother's health on my own but now I had to be miles away from the man I loved while he was going through a crisis of his own? _Is it written somewhere that my life must never be easy? That as soon as things start to become calm something, somewhere must go haywire so that I will always be left in a state of confusion, hurt and helplessness? How the hell could life be so unfair to me? What have I done to deserve such a shitty hand? _

But feeling sorry for myself was not going to solve any of my problems or help anyone's situation. _Snap out of it Isabella!_

I return to my mother's room where the doctors just finished up running some more tests on Renee and monitoring the baby's vitals. From their facial expressions I guess that no new issues have popped up where that is concerned, what it also tells me is that there are no changes in Renee's condition but I hope that these new tests help uncover what exactly is wrong so that they can make her better. I hate that I have to leave the room while they run these tests but I understand that it's protocol.

My phone rings and it's a number that I don't recognize more than the fact that it has a New York area code.

"Hello?"

"Isabella? This is Esme."

"Oh hi Esme. What can I do for you?"

"Oh nothing darling. I was just calling to let you know that Carlisle is on his way out to you right now. He should be there within the hour I believe. I meant to call you sooner but I had so many things on my mind. I'm sorry."

"He's coming now?"

"Yes. Remember he told you that he would come soon because there's nothing he can do here for Edward?"

"Oh right. I forgot. I wish I could be there for Edward, the way he's always been there for me."

"Sweetheart just keep him in your prayers and we'll call it even." I could hear the pain in her voice and there was nothing I could do to make this better for her. If wishing were a logical problem solving action I would wish Edward and Renee better and I would wish that nothing like this would ever happen to us again.

"So there's no change then?" I had hoped, albeit in vain, that by some miracle Edward had woken up, or at least shown signs of waking up soon. Unfortunately I could tell from the way Esme is speaking that there was no such luck. Still I hold my breath as I wait for Esme to answer me.

"I'm afraid not dear. But the doctors say that that's a good thing because he could easily take a turn for the worst."

I hear a voice in the background and Esme tells me to hold on. _I wonder what's going on._

"Bella. Rosalie would like to speak with you."

"Sure no problem, put her on."

I hear the subtle sounds of her passing the phone over to Rose. I am shocked that Rose is still there but I guess she wants to be there for Emmett. I would have done the same were the roles reversed.

"Bella? How are you doing sweetie?"

"I'm surviving. They're still doing tests so I won't know if they've figured it out until the results come back from the lab."

"Oh honey. I wish there was something I could do. This is just so much to come at you all at once."

"Yeah, it is. But I'm trying really hard not to think about it too much otherwise I'll break down."

"Have you spoken to Alice? Or your dad maybe? You know to at least have someone to talk to about this whole thing."

"No. I don't know how to break it to Charlie. He's strong, but I don't know that he's strong enough to handle something like this. As far as telling Alice I don't see what good it would do to worry her. She'll only want to leave school and come out here but I really don't want her to abandon her classes just for me, you know?"

"Bella, you need to have someone there to support you. You shouldn't have to this all on your own."

"I know Rose. But Carlisle will be here soon. He counts as moral support right?"

I could hear her sighing into the phone and almost imagine her rolling her eyes in annoyance at my stubborn refusal to accept help. _She should know better by now. When have I ever accepted help gracefully? _

"Granted Carlisle will be a great help to you but he doesn't understand the dynamics of your relationship with your mom like Charlie or Alice does."

"Did I tell you Renee's pregnant?" I say just to change the subject. I didn't want to call Charlie or Alice and I was over talking about it too. _End of story._

"She's- um wow. How do you feel about that?"

"I'm not sure really. I mean I'm glad she's moved on and settled enough in her life that she feels ready to have a baby."

"But?" Should I be scared that she knows me so well?

"But...I feel a little bit hurt that she completely neglected me for the past couple of years and now she's replacing me with a child who she's going to love and care for. I mean what about me?

Don't I deserve to have a mother that cares, a mother that's around for me when I need her. So that I wouldn't need to turn to other people for the support that I need." I could hear my voice cracking as I say this but I don't have the strength to make myself seem unaffected. It would be of no use anyway since Rose would see right through that facade immediately.

"Oh Bella. I'm so sorry honey. And just when you were at peace with your relationship with her, and starting to rebuild trust in her as a mother."

"Yes well. If this were a perfect world I would have had a better mother but since that's not possible I guess I just have to deal right? Look Rose I've got to go, Renee's doctor wants to speak to me." It was a lie but I had to find a way to get her off the phone before I break down. As soon as I hear the line go dead I crumple in my seat and let the silent sobs take over my body.

I don't know how long I sat there like that but I am brought out of my reverie by a gentle hand on my shoulder. As I look towards the owner of the hand I let out a sigh of relief that I hadn't realized I was holding.

Carlisle.

I never knew I would have been so happy to see him but from the way my body relaxed and my tense nerves eased I understood how much I needed to see a familiar face.

"Bella? Are you okay? I got here as soon as I can, but I can see that it wasn't soon enough." The worry that is laced all over his face prompts me to speak. Until then my mind had forgotten how that was supposed to work.

"No. You got here just in time. Thank you for coming." On impulse I get up from my seat and hug him, more for my own comfort than his.

"I spoke with her doctor and I'm afraid I can't do anything until they get her results back from the lab but they assured me that they'll put a rush on it."

Somehow I had known that as soon as Carlisle got here we would finally get results in Renee's case. It had seemed to me that the doctors were dragging their feet to diagnose her condition and I hope that, with Carlisle here, they would feel pressured to make some effort.

"Thank you again Carlisle. I know you don't have to do this and I know there's no way I could possibly repay you for coming all the way out here to help my mother, especially with Ed- especially under the circumstances but I want you to know how grateful I am."

"Bella stop. I already told you, I want to help you in any way that I can. You may not realize just how much you've changed my son, how much you mean to him, but I see it. He's a completely different man because of you Bella and so I'm going to try to repay you in the best way I can. Offer my medical expertise. I'm told that I'm good at it so maybe I'll be able to really help you."

And the tears begin again.

Carlisle holds me as I slowly calm down.

"I just spoke to Esme. She told me there hasn't been any change. I don't understand what exactly happened. Why is it that all of this has to happen at the same time? I don't think I can cope. I really don't."

"None of us really know what happened more than the fact that he was in a head on collision. Apparently he was on the wrong side of the road which makes no sense to me. Edward is an excellent driver so I'd never expect him to do something so reckless. And when he left us he wasn't intoxicated or anything like that so it can't be that either. The only explanation we can come up with is that maybe he was distracted by something, though by what remains to be seen."

_Oh my God._

_No, no, no, no!_

"Bella? Are you okay? Here, sit."

"I think I know why he was distracted."

"You do?"

"He tried calling me but I couldn't answer because I was on the plane. I hadn't gotten a chance to tell him I was leaving...do you think he was trying to call me while he was driving? Or he was worried about why I wasn't answering my phone?"

I ask Carlisle even though something tells me that it's my fault, that he was distracted by my unexplained absence and hadn't realized that he had strayed into the next lane.

"Honestly I don't know. It could be but the only person who can tell us for sure is Edward and we won't get any answers from him just yet."

"I'm so sorry Carlisle. I could have gotten him killed! Oh God!"

Breathing is becoming hard.

_Why can't I breathe? How the hell could I be so stupid? I should have known he would be worried about me! Oh God my chest hurts. _

"Breathe Bella! Calm down. Please."

_Breathe? Easier said than done doc. Oh God!_

"Slowly. Deep breath in. Hold it. Okay now let it go. Again. Everything's fine. He's alive. You didn't get him killed. That's it. Good girl. Is that better?"

"Yes. Thank you Carlisle. But I should have known. I should have known."

"There was no way you could have known."

Somehow I can't find it within myself to believe that.

* * *

**SORRY I TOOK SO LONG! I DIDN'T WANT TO POST A CHAPTER FOR THIS STORY BEFORE I POSTED ON FOR MY HP ONE BUT THEN I COULDN'T GET A CHAPTER FINISHED FOR IT AND BEFORE I KNEW IT SOOO MUCH TIME HAD PASSED AND I DIDN'T HAVE A FULL CHAPTER FOR EITHER OF THESE STORIES. NOT TO MENTION THE STUPID INTERNET ISSUE. BUT...I WON'T GIVE YOU ANY MORE EXCUSES. IN EXCHANGE FOR MY LONG DELAY I'LL TRY TO GET ANOTHER ONE TO YOU A.S.A.P.**

**I have a few questions for you though. Do you think Bella's reactions were accurate? What would you have done in her position? **


	17. Torn, confused and desperate

**A/N #1: I'm updating from my phone so any mistakes I missed while it was still on the computer are unchangeable once uploaded to the document manager.**

**BPOV**

**Today is only one day in all the days that will ever be. But what will happen in all the other days that ever come can depend on what you do today- Ernest Hemingway (For Whom the Bell Tolls)**

Guilt. Pure, unadulterated guilt. That's all the emotion my mind is registering at the moment. _I want to be there for Edward. I mean I was the one who caused him to get into the bloody accident in the first place. But I can't leave Renee. I'm all she has._

_Where the hell is Phil anyway?_

_Why didn't I ask her about that when I spoke to her all those times?_

_But then again she chose this path for herself. Edward's condition is an accident..._

_No. That's not fair. Who knows what caused Renee's condition...why she's pregnant and all alone._

_I have to get to the bottom of this._

_Maybe while Carlisle and the rest of the medical team are working on fixing her health I can work on fixing her life..._

…**.slowly forward...slowly forward...**

I give the taxi driver the address and sit back for the short ride from the hospital.

I let my mind wonder as the car moves at an even pace and cars flew past us heading in the opposite direction.

"We're here, miss."

"Oh. Thank you." I hand him his fare and a generous tip and exit the vehicle.

Renee's apartment building was pretty nondescript. At least ten floors high, covering half the block in width and imposing in all its concrete glory, common for the DC area. It does look high end though so at least Renee's been doing good for herself. _Good on her_, I think to myself slightly grudgingly.

The doorman opens the doors for me and I am even more impressed at how well Renee's done for herself. It is a complete 180 from where she was when we lived in Phoenix.

I walk to the wall that is covered in PO boxes and use the key that I got from Renee's stuff back at the hospital.

It was chock full of bills, junk mail, two letters from the bank and a post card from Phil. I decide that I would wait to read the post card until I actually get into her apartment.

I take the elevator to the top floor and turn right towards apartment 10B. I pause in front of the door to catch my breath, to try to calm my nerves. _Do I really want to do this? Am I ready for whatever it is I might see? No, I'm not. I should turn the hell around!_

_No. Stop being a coward Bella! You can do this. Just put the key in the hole and turn the knob..._

Easier said than bloody done though because it takes me another five minutes before I actually open the door. Then I just stand in the doorway as though I am expecting some crazy killer to jump out at me. Luckily that doesn't happen. But that doesn't make my nerves any less on edge.

The apartment is very nice. The door opens into a well lit hallway beyond which I can see a huge French window, probably opening onto a balcony. I force my foot to make the necessary steps to enter an elegantly decorated living room.

It's nothing like what I was expecting. Nothing eccentric or eclectic about it, just understated elegance. Renee is not understated anything so her lease must specify that she can only make minimal changes. That's the only explanation I can think of for why this room seems so anti-Renee.

I perch on the nearest available surface and turn the post card over. The picture to the front offers greetings from Venice Italy. The image offers a panoramic view of St. Mark's Cathedral. I don't linger on that too long, my curiosity about Phil's note getting the best of me.

_Renee,_

_Wish you were here you know. You didn't have to go. I'm sure Sally wouldn't have minded if you'd stayed with us a little longer. At least until you saved up enough money to branch out on your own. She doesn't feel threatened by what we had anymore. In fact she says hi._

_Jr's doing great. He's getting pretty big now. You should see him. He looks just like me but he's got Sally's red hair. Can you imagine?_

_Let me know if there's anything I can do 'kay. I didn't mean for things to end the way they did. You shouldn't have to restart your life in the US from scratch._

_I hope you're okay._

_Always,_

_Phil._

Well that explains where Phil is.

_What a douche. _First of all he leaves her, knocks up some other chic and possibly Renee at the same time and rubs it in her face that he chose the other woman over her. He doesn't even acknowledge Renee's child. I wonder if he even cares. Or _if _he knows.

I have no way to truly know this except by contacting him or waiting for Renee to wake up. I don't know the first place to start looking in order to get in contact with Phil and I who knows how long Renee will be out for so either way my prospects are slim.

But then it hits me, Renee's cell phone should have his number.

I pull it out of my handbag and scroll through the contacts until I come across Phil's name.

I gather my nerves once more and call it.

"Hello? Renee? I didn't think I'd be hearing from you so soon. How are you? What d'ya need?" my breath catches in my throat. I haven't heard his voice in so long that it hits me hard what I'd had to sacrifice because I thought he was going to be there for my mother for the long run, and now all that sacrifice has been for nothing because he dropped her as soon as he saw another skirt that could hold his interest for more than five minutes.

"Renee? Are you there? Talk to me." In the background I heard a baby fussing. I broke.

"How could you Phil? You said you would take care of her, that you would love her forever! Why aren't you here when she needs you the most?"

"B- Bella? Is that you?"

"Yes it is. But you didn't answer my questions. Why did you leave her?"

"Look what happened between your mother and me is between the two of us. It's none of your business. Don't you get on your high horse neither 'cause I didn't see you calling her since you decided you wanted to crawl back to your daddy."

"Don't you dare! You leave Charlie out of this. Besides she never called either. She knew Charlie's number. But that's old news now. Did you know that she was pregnant? How does that work exactly? You knock two up and then choose which one you rather raise a kid with? What edged Renee out? Is _Sally_ as wild as they say all redheads are, or is she just less scatterbrained?" I say the name with as much venom I could muster.

"What are you talking 'bout? Renee ain't having my kid that's for damn sure. Not that it's any of your business but your mother and I haven't seen each other in over a year. So unless she's having a little elephant she would have given birth to any phantom child that I fathered alright?"

_What? So who's the father then?_

"Over a year? Phil what happened to you two? You were so happy together when you left for Europe. Now you're there and she's here, pregnant and unconscious. I don't get it. Oh God, I need someone to tell me it's all going to be okay and mean it."

"Wait. Say that again. Did I just hear you say that she's unconscious? What's wrong with her?" I could hear a hint of the love they used to share in his voice as he asks me about his ex-wife's health.

"I got a phone call telling me to fly out to DC, that I needed to be here because they didn't know how much longer she has. When I get here I notice she's pregnant and that you're M.I.A. So I assumed you were being a deadbeat dad. Sorry. Luckily my boyfriend's dad is a doctor and he flew out a little while after me. She's in a stable condition, well as stable as critical gets. But they still don't know what's wrong with her. And it's just me and Carlisle here dealing with this shitty situation. I don't want to tell Charlie. He'll only worry and he has enough on his plate on a regular basis, he doesn't need me to add this to it too. I can't do that to him. I shouldn't even be burdening you with this but I thought you at least knew part of it-"

"Bella, breathe. The doctors are doing all they can, I'm sure. So what I need you to do is just calm down for a little bit, have some patience. Call up your boyfriend or somebody, go out and have some fun. You're not doing Renee any favors if you have a mental collapse alright."

"Oh God. Edward."

"Bella? What's wrong? Why are you crying." My loud sobs nearly cover his voice so I just barely register his question.

"My boyfriend's in a coma. He got into a car accident. Everything is going to hell and I don't know how to make it right again. What am I supposed to do Phil? Just sit by and watch as everyone that I love falls prey to one cruel fate or another? I can't do that Phil. But I don't know what else I'm supposed to do." It's a wonder that I can still speak coherently with the way my body is convulsing with my tears, but somehow I manage to convey to Phil exactly what is going through my mind.

"Oh Bella. I'm so sorry. You shouldn't have to go through this by yourself. There's no one you can call to be there for you?"

"Everyone has their own life. I can't make them leave that behind just to console me. I'd feel too guilty."

"Bella. You need to have someone to lean on. To hell with feeling guilty, you need to put yourself first for once. You hear me? Call somebody."

A voice in the background murmurs something unintelligible and then I hear Phil's return saying that he'd be right there.

"Look Bella I have to go. But my phone's ringer is always on for you. Unfortunately you also need someone who's closer to DC than I am. Please Bella, call somebody."

"Thanks Phil. I'll keep you posted. Bye."

"Bye."

I thought calling Phil would have gotten me some answers but now I'm more confused than before I called him. I sigh long and hard and proceed further into the apartment. Maybe I can find something useful in here.

Renee obviously didn't think she'd be out so long. She had dirty dishes in the sink and she had left out a quart of ice cream to get melty for when she got back from her grocery run. Unfortunately now it was nothing but a wasted quart of rocky road ice cream.

Nothing in the kitchen offered me any answers.

Just off from the kitchen is a small dining room, with a table that only seats four. The high shine wood was a deep mahogany and it looked sturdy and very unused. I move back towards the living room and notice a door that I had overlooked earlier. I open it and notice that it is just a bathroom. Renee's housekeeping skills were never stellar to begin with so I was expecting her bathroom to be in a bit of a disarray. What I see however is a bathroom that looks as though a tornado has passed through. The toothpaste is uncapped and resting on the lip of the sink, next to it is her toothbrush and a few unidentified spots and stains. Her hairbrush is resting on the counter and strands of hair surround it. The mirror is in dire need of TLC and the toilet and shower stall could use a cleaning. I decide that as soon as I'm finished exploring the apartment I'm going to clean this bathroom from top to bottom.

Past the living room, to the left, is Renee's bedroom. It is modestly decorated, tastefully so. Her queen sized bed lies below a huge window, knowing Renee that's just so that the morning sun doesn't shine into her face as she sleeps in, every single day. Her furniture is very little but multipurpose. Very practical.

I open all the drawers in her bedside table and find her diary, a few postcards and a letter.

_Jackpot!_

I push the items into my handbag. _I'll get to those later._

I decide to call Carlisle before I get knee deep into Renee's disgusting habits.

"Hello Bella. Did you find anything useful at your mother's apartment?"

I had forgotten that I told him what I was up to today I am caught a little bit off guard by his question.

"Yeah. I found her diary, some post cards and a letter. It looks old. Other than that there's nothing here to indicate that she wasn't feeling well. I'll check her medicine cabinet in a bit though. Actually, I was just calling to find out if there were any new developments in her condition."

"She's still stable. No changes unfortunately. I'm sorry."

"I figured as much actually. Well I'm going to stick around here a little longer. Call me if anything changes. Bye Carlisle."

"Bye Bella."

**A/N #2: Is it obvious yet that I still have no idea what the hell is wrong with Renee? Hehe. I hope that my wild goose chase is still entertaining enough for you to continue reading...let's figure out what's wrong with her together.**

**This took longer than expected. Sorry.**

**Oh, on a side note, as soon as I'm finished with Slowly Forward I will be resuming A Move to Remember, just thought I'd let you know. And I'll ****be starting a new venture. I want to fully plan out the sequel to this before I start post it so you won't be seeing it for some time yet.**


	18. Reprieve

**FORGIVE ME! I'VE BEEN JOB HUNTING FOR THE PAST TWO MONTHS (it's still ongoing by the way) AND I JUST COULDN'T WORK UP THE EXTRA ENERGY TO WRITE THIS STORY…I'M SO SORRY. DON'T WORRY, I HAVEN'T ABANDONED IT. **

**Last time on Slowly Forward: **

Just off from the kitchen is a small dining room, with a table that only seats four. The high shine wood was a deep mahogany and it looked sturdy and very unused. I move back towards the living room and notice a door that I had overlooked earlier. I open it and notice that it is just a bathroom. Renee's housekeeping skills were never stellar to begin with so I was expecting her bathroom to be in a bit of a disarray. What I see however is a bathroom that looks as though a tornado has passed through. The toothpaste is uncapped and resting on the lip of the sink, next to it is her toothbrush and a few unidentified spots and stains. Her hairbrush is resting on the counter and strands of hair surround it. The mirror is in dire need of TLC and the toilet and shower stall could use a cleaning. I decide that as soon as I'm finished exploring the apartment I'm going to clean this bathroom from top to bottom.

Past the living room, to the left, is Renee's bedroom. It is modestly decorated, tastefully so. Her queen sized bed lies below a huge window, knowing Renee that's just so that the morning sun doesn't shine into her face as she sleeps in, every single day. Her furniture is very little but multipurpose. Very practical.

I open all the drawers in her bedside table and find her diary, a few postcards and a letter.

_Jackpot!_

I push the items into my handbag. _I'll get to those later._

I decide to call Carlisle before I get knee deep into Renee's disgusting habits.

"Hello Bella. Did you find anything useful at your mother's apartment?"

I had forgotten that I told him what I was up to today I am caught a little bit off guard by his question.

"Yeah. I found her diary, some post cards and a letter. It looks old. Other than that there's nothing here to indicate that she wasn't feeling well. I'll check her medicine cabinet in a bit though. Actually, I was just calling to find out if there were any new developments in her condition."

"She's still stable. No changes unfortunately. I'm sorry."

"I figured as much actually. Well I'm going to stick around here a little longer. Call me if anything changes. Bye Carlisle."

"Bye Bella."

**BPOV**

How can one person cause so much mess is beyond me. I spend the better part of an hour cleaning off the grime from the sink, clean off the mirror until its surface is spotless and I scrub the bathtub until it shines, maybe not as it once did but close enough. The shower doors I spray with some bathroom detergent that promises to clean away all the lime and calcium stains with minimal exertion on my part. I leave it for the prescribed thirty minutes and head to the kitchen for a glass of water. While I'm there I clean up the mess in the kitchen, might as well since I'm obviously in a cleaning mood. _More like scared out of mind to see what those little treasures I found has to say…_

Cleaning has always helped me to relax but today it just seems to make me even more tightly wound.

I glance at the time on the microwave and realize that the time is up for me to check on the shower doors. As promised, once I wash away the product the glass is pristine.

With no more excuses I pull out the letter from Charlie.

_Hey there Bells,_

_Daddy misses you. Every day I wake up and I say to myself I can't wait till Bells gets up so I can see her beautiful face, then I have to remind myself all over again that you're not here with me anymore. _

My cell phone rings. Irritated, but somewhat grateful for the interruption, I glance at the caller ID and my heart squeezes.

_Edward._

"Hello?"

"Bella? It's Esme."

"Oh. I thought-"

"I'm sorry to have gotten your hopes up like that. It's just my battery's dead and Edward's phone was right there. I didn't think it would be a problem..."

"It's okay Esme. I understand. So what's up?"

"Well, the doctors say that Edward's finally beginning to show some improvement. I wanted to let you know. I called Carlisle just a moment ago and he told me that you weren't at the hospital so I decided I'd call you right away. I hope I'm not interrupting anything."

"No. You're not. I was just about to head back to the hotel to get a quick shower before I go back to Renee. Thank you for telling me. You don't know how happy I am to hear that things are turning around. I can finally get my Edward back. Thank God."

"Hallelujah. I won't keep you any longer. I'll keep praying for your mother, and for God to give you strength. Goodbye dear."

"Bye Esme. Give Edward a kiss for me and tell everyone that I said hi and that I miss them."

"Will do."

I decide that I've had more than enough emotional flip flopping for the day and resolve that I'll read the rest of the letter tomorrow. For now I will just bask in the relief and pure joy of knowing that Edward was getting better.

I begin to feel a tension heading coming on though so I make my way to Renee's bathroom confident that she has some painkillers in there.

Her medicine cabinet is completely empty.

_Damn it._

I guess I'll have to make a pit stop at a pharmacy before the hotel.

E&B*E&B*E&B*E&B*E&B*E&B*E&B*

"Hello Bella. Did you hear the good news?"

"Yes. Maybe that bit of good luck is gonna flow this way too and you guys'll figure out what the hell is wrong with Renee."

"I hope so too. Did you find anything important in her medicine cabinet?"

"Nope. It was absolutely empty. Which is pretty strange because Renee suffers with killer migraines so she always has a bottle of Excedrin within reach at the very least. So why was her medicine cabinet empty? And she had every intention of coming back right away too because she left ice cream out on the counter to soften."

"She suffers with migraines? How long now?"

"As far as I could remember. Why?"

"Hmm…it could be nothing. Let me get back to you on that. In the meantime you look beat. Why don't you go back to the hotel? If anything changes here I'll give you a call."

"No. I want to stay. Besides you look more tired than I feel right now. Have you even left the hospital for the day Carlisle?" I could see his five o'clock shadow that was now more like he had gone the entire day without shaving and I begin to wonder when was the last time he left the hospital, or even had a full night's sleep.

"I'm a doctor Bella, I'm used to these crazy schedules."

"Please get some rest Carlisle. I can't afford for you to get sick too. Go home, or at the very least, take a break. I'm pretty sure the other doctors and the nurses can hold down the fort without you for a little while."

"On one condition."

"What's that?"

"You join me for dinner."

"No problem."

He tells me to wait here for him while he 'freshens up a bit'. I sit and observe Renee more closely. Her skin is almost translucent from the lack of sunlight and possibly her blood loss. Her protruding belly looks odd sticking out of her bone thin frame. A tear escapes my eye in mourning of the woman Renee used to be. There was nothing in the woman lying on the bed before me that looked like my mother. I begin to pray in earnest that this would all turn around and Renee would come back to me. I wasn't ready to lose her again, not so soon after I had found her again.

I don't hear Carlisle walk in the room but I feel his presence as he stands behind me, lending me his strength.

"You're a strong woman Bella. I don't think I could take this all as well as you have. Your mom's going to pull through. She has to."

"That's exactly what I believe too. There's no way I can lose her now. Did you know we only just started speaking again? I probably told you that already, but I just…I refuse to accept that this is the way it's going to end for us."

"Then it won't. 50 percent of reality is perception."

I smile at that and think to myself that if it were really that easy, then I think I just found the key to all of life's problems.

We go to a nice Italian restaurant where everyone is dressed in fancy evening wear and I feel so underdressed and naked that I stare at Carlisle's back the entire distance to our table.

"Are you okay? Your face is as red as a beet."

"I'm underdressed! This is so embarrassing. I'm shocked they even let me in."

"Bella, relax. You look perfectly fine. Your breasts aren't hanging out, your shoulders are covered, your legs are covered and you aren't wearing flip flops. There's nothing wrong with what you're wearing."

"Are you sure?"

"They let you in didn't they?"

There is no point in answering so I laugh instead.

By the time dinner is over I am in even better spirits.

Carlisle is a really cool man and I could see myself having fun with him when I go over to their place in the future.

_Yes I am inviting myself to their house in my future with Edward. I have a little fate. So sue me!_

We make our way back to the hospital for the night. I stay by Renee's side and Carlisle heads to the doctor's lounge to take a little rest, upon my insistence.

I'm not complaining about his dedication, in fact I'm ecstatic that he's so determined to solve my mother's medical dilemma, but I can't answer to Esme if he drops from exhaustion. Having a son in a coma is enough for her to deal with; she doesn't need an ill husband on top of that.

Now, a sane person would expect that, without anything but watching my comatose mother all night, I would have reason enough to resume reading the letter from Charlie but…I am too much of a coward. So instead I stare out the window, or listen to the sounds of the hospital at night, or play games on my cell phone.

Something tells me to look up from my phone and when I do it is just in time to see Renee's hands twitch.

**I totally made up that statistic about 50% of reality being perception. But it sounds plausible right? I think it does anyway.**


	19. Bonding

It's a suuuuuper short chapter but please read the A/N below. Thank you!

* * *

**God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; **

**The courage to change the things I can; **

**And the wisdom to know the difference**

**E(sme)POV**

Sitting her staring at my son's motionless body pains me, a pain that intensifies as the days pass.

It's been too long since I've seen the light in the green orbs of my baby boy. Too long since I've heard his infectious laughter or seen his pleasant grin.

_When is this torture going to end?_

I need the joy back in my life!

Without Edward how would I, how could I, truly enjoy Emmett and Rose's bundle of joy?

Carlisle needs to hurry up and figure out what is wrong with Bella's mom so that he can come fix our son.

My cell phone rings, breaking me out of my morbid thoughts.

"Hello?"

The number isn't one that I recognize, but the voice coming through the line I'd know anywhere.

"Esme, love, I just thought I should check in."

"Carlisle, what pone are you calling from? Is something wrong with your cell?"

"I'm using the phone in the doctor's lounge, my battery died. I forgot to put it to charge."

"Oh okay. Well nothing's changed over here. Any news about Renee?"

"Nope. We're still just as clueless as before."

"That's terrible! So-" I hear mumbling on his end so I stop talking, giving him the chance to respond to the person.

A few more seconds pass before he returns to our conversation.

"Sweetheart I have to go. There's been a new development with Renee. I'll call you back as soon as I can."

"Okay. Bye. Be careful. I love you."

"Love you too."

Click.

That sound is so loud in my ears, my heart is racing and my breathing is shallow_._

_Oh God, I hope that the 'new development' is a good thing._

...SLOWLY FORWARD_ SLOWLY FORWARD_ SLOWLY FORWARD...

Rosalie and Emmett re-emerge and I awake from my light slumber.

"Sorry mom, we didn't mean to wake you."

Just then I feel the tugging of two little hands.

Tyler wanted me to pick him up and my sombre mood immediately picked up.

"Mom, why don't you go home and relax. Rose and I'll hold down the fort; if anything changes we'll give you a call."

"But..."

"But nothing mom! You're exhausted and sleeping here isn't going to change anything. Go home."

I stop and begin thinking...I have to find a loop hole.

"I'll go, but only if I get to carry Ty with me."

"Nice try. If you think that we'll send Tyler with you so you can use him as your excuse for not resting then you're terribly mistaken."

_But clearly he underestimates just how persistent I really am..._

"Yes but I want to spend time with my grandson before he has to share me when the baby comes."

I hear Rose try to stifle a sob.

Turning to her I say "I already think of you as my daughter, is it such a stretch that I would consider Tyler my grandchild?"

"I- it's just...it's great to hear you say it. I didn't realize how much I'd hoped you would accept him, even though he isn't Emmett's...just...thank you!"

"Why wouldn't I? Besides he was made in a loving relationship that unfortunately didn't last. Lucky for us you're actually willing to put up with my son. The least we could do is love yours and not judge him for his father's mistakes. So...may I?"

"May you...? Oh, right. Um...it's up to Emmett I guess. I don't mind, but you do look a little tired. Maybe some other time?"

"No...no. I don't want to lose another precious minute with the people I care about. Because everything changes in the blink of an eye..."

Unshed tears sting the corners of my eyes and Emmett moves forward to corrupt me but I wave him away.

"Okay, go home Mom. And you can carry Tyler with you. Alright?"

...SLOWLY FORWARD_ SLOWLY FORWARD_ SLOWLY FORWARD...

The soft gurgling sounds of a full, dry and content baby fills my ears and puts a smile on my face. It also inspires me to start painting again.

Ever since Emmett and Edward started college I had a severe case of empty nest syndrome. As a result Carlisle enrolled me in a small art class. He hadn't realized how much of a passion it would become.

Lately inspiration had been sparse, there was just too much going on for my brain to be able to settle enough to create. However, with the genuine pleasure that emanated from the little guy I put my supplies together and set up a little station of blocks and other toys for Tyler and I begin painting.

The hours fly as the both of us are absorbed by our activities.

Then the phone rings and heaven opens up and shines its blessings upon me. At least that's what it feels like to me when I hear the next four words out of Emmett's mouth.

"Mom! It's Edward. Hurry!"

I don't need to hear another word. Not even wasting time to change I pick Tyler up, grab my purse and run out of the house.

A/N

First off this was just a filler chapter so don't flip out over how short it is!

Sorry for the wait!

I feel terrible for having to give yet another excuse but my laptop died on me with my chapters almost complete and there was no way for me to retrieve them so I had to start from scratch. Hence the long ass delay. I humbly apologize.

Now to prevent having to go through that again I am hand writing EVERY SINGLE CHAPTER. So I'm in the process of writing a new chapter...so stay tuned!

I also started a job that has me busier than you can imagine so my writing schedule is kind of erratic. But I promise you I write every chance I get...

thank you for listening and for reading...

Lunar ;D


	20. Hope slowly blossoms

**When life hands you a lemon, say, "Oh yeah. i like lemons. What else ya got?" - Henry Rollins**

**BPOV**

The hospital is eerily quiet as I sit staring at those twitching fingers.

I immediately spring into action, pressing the panic button at the side of Renee's bed.

Nurses run in, on high alert, machines in tow, but stop short, not seeing anything to warrant the immediacy.

"Her hands...look they're moving!" I draw their attention to the miracle.

"Ma'am did you press the panic button to show us some spasms in your mother's hands? It's npt uncommon for a comatose person to experience involuntary muscle spasms."

_Well, that just deflated the little bit of hope I'd built up._

Just then her toes start moving. I automatically dismiss it as just another 'involuntary muscle spasm' when the nurses spring into action.

"Page Dr. Cullen and Dr. Eleazer right away!" Calls the lead nurse on Renee's case.

They usher me out of the room before I get a chance to ask any questions. That's where I stay as they all move in and out of the room with blank expressions and hurried steps. I give up all hope of finding out what's going on any time soon so I pull out the letter from Charlie.

"Hey there Bells,

Daddy misses you. Every day I wake up and I say to myself 'I can't wait 'til Bella gets up so I can see her beautiful face, then I have to remind myself all over again that you're not here with me anymore. I know you're not old enough to understand why mummy and daddy don't live in the same house anymore, or why you had to move so far away but I know you can understand me when I say, my precious little Bellarina, that I still love you. I would never not love you or not want you here with me. But...your Mommy needs you right now. So until she doesn't need you so much you're going to be staying with her. You're welcome to come visit me whenever you want okay?

Until the next time we speak,

I love you baby girl,

Daddy."

A few of my tears fall from my eyes and mingle with the dried in tear stains on the page. I'm unsure if the tears belonged to Renee or Charlie. Whichever, it doesn't matter, all I know is that at this moment we're feeling kindred emotions: sadness and regret. Regret that I lost so much time with my parents, and sadness at having to go through all of this in the first place.

I sigh, suddenly exhausted with my lot in life. I feel broken, and I wonder how I'm still able to go on. I close my eyes, trying to shut out the reality of my life, wishing, hoping, that when I reopen them all of this would have been nothing but a bad dream.

Unfortunately life, especially not my life, doesn't work that way. As I open my eyes I see Carlisle, clipboard and pen in hand, walking towards me.

* * *

**EPOV**

**Fear is that little dark room where negatives are developed - Michael Pritchard**

I try to stay below the speed limit, not wanting to endanger my grandchild's life, but I have a hard time forcing myself not to hold down the accelerator.

When we finally get back to the hospital I pray to God that it's really good news. Otherwise, I'm not sure my heart can take it. I'm definitely sure Bella's couldn't.

"Mom! It's Edward. Hurry!" The three words run through my head over and over again. I couldn't detect anything from the tone of his voice but I guess he didn't want to give anything away, wanting me to see or hear for myself.

_But what could that mean?_

Tyler is definitely absorbing my nervous energy because he starts crying for his mother as we step into the elevator.

"Shh...don't cry sweetheart. We're gonnan see your mama in a few minutes. There, there..." I say as I sway from side to side, willing the elevator to speed up.

As we step off the elevator we come face to face with Rose and Emmett. His eyes are red rimmed and my knees go weak at the sight. Rose snatches Tyler from my hands just as I'm about to fall. Emmett holds me up and guides me to a nearby chair.

"We're not allowed in there right now, mom, but, I think it's a good sign."

_A good sign?_

"Oh thank God! When I saw your eyes...I- I just..." Nothing else could be said as I bawl uncontrollably.

Emmett engulfs me in his huge arms as the sobs rack my body. When I finally have control of myself again I pull away and ask the one question that I wasn't strong enough to ask earlier.

"What happened?"

"Edward opened his eyes."

"So won't they let us see him?" I don't understand. If he's awake shouldn't that mean everything is fine now? We should be in there, fawning all over him.

"Because, even though his eyes are open, he's still unresponsive. They say maybe it's just taking a little while for his brain to send the messages to his body. They're running a few tests on him right now and as soon as they're finished we can go in."

_Unresponsive..._

_Brain...taking long to send..._

_Oh God, I need my husband._

Unfortunately I know I can't call him because he's busy dealing with Renee's health. It's not the first time since this whole circus began that I resent that fact, and as always I feel guilty for feeling that way.

"Don't worry Mom, everything'll be fine...you'll see."

"I hope so Emmett." _Lord knows I do..._

"Mrs. Cullen?"

I look away from the elevator doors and up at Edward's lead doctor.

"Yes."

"If I could have a moment with you, I'd like to go over a few specifics of Edward's case..."

"It's fine. You can say whatever you have to in front of Emmett and Rose. We have no secrets in our family."

He stands there with a contemplative expression on his face before acquiesing.

If he had persisted I honestly don't know what I would have done. I really don't think I'm strong enough to hear whatever it is he may have to say without a strong shoulder to lean on and a sympathetic hand to hold.

He pulls up a chair and positions it directly in front of us.

"You know what Rose, maybe you and Ty should go for a walk? He doesn't need to hear this..."

She looks conflicted, understanding that I was right but wishing there was another way around it.

As soon as they're out of earshot Dr. Volturi begins to speak. Aro Volturi is an old friend of Carlisle's from medical school so I trusted him implicitly, I just wish I didn't have to trust him with my son's life right now.

"As you know, for the past 3 weeks, your son has been unresponsive, all tests were inconclusive and there was no brain activity. Just when we were beginning to give up all hope that he would come around, and was about to start discussing taking him off life support, we got something akin to a miracle. There was rapid eye movements, basically the sign we've been looking for to indicate that he's not brain dead. He still has some way to go of cousre. His eyes _are _open, but he's still not tracking movemenet. His pupils however are reacting to changes in light. His lips are moving, as though he's speaking but he's not making any sounds. We've honestly never seen anything quite like it. But we think he's definitely on the road to recovery. We'll keep monitoring him for now. And as soon as we get the test results back we'll let you know waht our options are."

_Wow._

_That's a lot to take in._

"Can we see him now?" That's the only question I could think of asking. I haven't even begun absorbing what Aro has told me, but I need to see with my own eyes that Edward is awake, and alright. After that, well, anything can happen after that.

"Please," he says as he stands and gestures towards Edward's private room.

* * *

**Thank you for reading! If anybody out there's a medical buff and thinks that my 'medical miracles' are false as hell well...that's too bad! This is fiction and as such I get to make shit up...**

**I'm thinking of pulling my original fic from Fictionpress and posting it here instead as a drabble fic...let me know what you think of that idea...**


	21. Utterances of truth

**I've started writing a new chapter for 'A Move to Remember' sooooo excited to start posting that again! **

**I've also pulled my original fic from fictionpress and started posting it as a drabble fic over here...so check it out and let me know what you think. It's called The Eliza Frankfurt Chronicles and it's under the vampires genre. It's already quite a few chapters in and it needs some love. So does this story, just saying.**

**This story only has about two more chapters to go after this and then I'm taking a break until AMtR is finished...or nearly finished.**

**Not sure how I feel about that but we all knew it had to end sometime...anyway, on with the reading and leave a review or something...**

* * *

**EPOV**

**Life isn't fair. It's just fairer than death, that's all- William Goldman**

We walk into the room, Rosalie on our heels, and the sight is enough to send my heart flying.

As Aro said, Edward's mouth is in motion and his eyes stare unseeing at the ceiling. I hurry over to his side and stick my face directly in his line of sight. Maybe if he sees my face he might react.

No such luck.

I lean in closer, not really intending anything other than kissing his cheek, and I hear his voice whisper. But it's so soft that I can't be sure what I hear. I push even closer, to the point where my ears are mere inches from his lips. The entire room gets silent, entranced by my actions.

It still isn't clear but I'm pretty sure that he's just uttering one word over and over again.

* * *

**BPOV**

**The truth is, in order to heal we need to tell our stories and have them witnessed- Sue Monk Kidd (The Dance of the Dissident Daughter**)

"Bella...I'm so sorry someone didn't come to you sooner. You must have been so worried."

"More than you know Carlisle. I feel so confused, and lost."

He puts down his clipboard and opens his arms to me. He is stepping out of his role as doctor fo a minute to act as the support system I so desperately need.

I hold onto him for dear life and just breathe for an indefinite amount of time. Eventually he pulls away a little, his arms still securely wrapped around me.

"Are you ready to hear about the latest developments?"

I take one more calming breath and nod my head. Ready or not I had to know, I _needed_to know, and so I sit up a little taller.

"As you pointed out earlier your mom had a few spasms. At first it seemed like nothing more than muscle spasms. Unfortunately the spasms continued. Those prolonged spasms were a sign of a stroke Bella. But it was minor and we were able to stabilize her, hopefully before any serious damage could be done. She's still unconscious but we're going to do a few more brain scans to make sure no obvious brain damage occurred. Bella, I'll be hones with you, we're running out of options. We cannot figure out what's causing her coma and pretty soon she'll be considered as nothing but a human incubator. I don't mean to be crude but the doctors are at their wits end ad the nurses are beginning to give up hope."

A strangled sound escapes my lips as I take in everything he's telling me.

_How could the situation be so bleak?_

I sigh in resignation. _If the doctors are giving up, I probably should too..._

"Are you okay? Would you like a minute alone?"

"No. It's okay Carlisle."

We sit for a few minutes more until I decide to leave. I need to get away for a little bit.

I get up and excuse myself I just can't sit here in the hospital knowing that my mother is slowly losing her battle for life.

I don't know where I'm going; I don't know this city or anyone in it, but I hop a cab and tell him to take me to the nearest park. He looks at me through his rear view mirror like he thinks I'm completely nuts, but I really don't care. I need the fresh air, the sun and the connection with nature.

He pulls up at Lafayette Square and I pay him and get out. I make my way across the grass and plop down on an old wooden bench. It had been a bit of a drive but definitely worth it. The grounds are impeccably kept and the area is quiet and pristine. The buildings surrounding the area are luxurious and I feel out of place once more. DC makes me feel even more inadequate than normal. Everyone looks important and loaded, walking around in suits or designer clothes. Most would ask how is that any different from New York but the attitude that these people carried with them screamed 'established power' as opposed to 'I was born with money, now deal with it'. But I try, as hard as I can, to shrug off my inferiority complex.

I sit there in perfect solitude, the park is deserted, with my eyes closed and just breathing in deeply. The large trees provide shade and all the lush green is calming.

My solitude doesn't last long however. I hear a rustling of shoes on grass and feel the distinct moment when I am joined on the bench.

"Hi there."

I sigh and open my eyes. I know I'm being ungracious and not like myself but I figure I have every right to be a little rude.

"Hi." I contemplate getting up and moving to another bench but decide that I'm not allowed to be _that_ rude.

"Are you alright?"

"Honestly? I'm not sure. I'm just really numb right now. My life has fallen apart and I don't even know if it's salvageable or how to begin to put the pieces back together. I barely feel strong enough to hold myself in long enough to see it through."

What the hell am I doing? Talking to some random dude, whose name I don't even know, about my 'issues'. As I talk I take a look around. Directly behind me, well a few yards away, is the White House Lawn. And suddenly my problems seem even smaller and my guilt multiplies triple fold. What gives me the right to complain?

"I'm sorry. I don't even know why I'm telling you all of this..."

The stranger smiles warmly and I begin to take in his appearance. His blue eyes are piercing but kind and when he smiles the corners of his eyes crinkle with his genuine good natured happiness. He looks to be bout Charlie's age so I know, or at least I doubt, that he's not after anything more than being a good Samaritan.

"You know that saying about it being easier to talk to a stranger about what you're going through? Well I've always found that to be true. I won't judge you. My name's Matthew, by the way."

"Bella. It's nice to meet you Matthew."

"Good. Now that introductions are out of the way, mind telling me what's got such a pretty little thing like you so down in the dumps?"

Strangely enough I don't hesitate to off-load my 'sob story' on him. Maybe he's right. I would never complain about my lot in life to my friends or family. I'd feel like I was being ungrateful. But with this man who knows nothing about me, about where I've been, or what I've done, it feels so easy. I don't feel like a spoiled brat who just cries when things don't go her way.

"Wow. You've had quite a time haven't you? So this guy of yours, Edward, he's in a hospital in New York and you're here with a mother who abandoned you? You're a better person than me, I'll tell you. I would have caught the next flight back. To hell with her. But it's a damn commendable thing you're doing. Who knows, maybe the man upstairs is just testing you, and I think you're proving yourself worthy. Maybe this whole clusterfuck, pardon my French, is turning around as we speak." During his rant a bit of an accent came through, though of what origin I couldn't be sure. All I know is that it sounded European to me.

And just like that my hope is restored. I know he is only trying to make me feel better, saying what he thinks I need to hear, but, it's working.

"Thank you for saying that. It means more to me than you'll ever know. I should probably get back now."

"Can I give you a lift?"

"Sure." I know what they say about getting into strange cars with strange men but, if he was good enough to share my story with, then he was good enough to get into a car with. There was no other way to look at it.

We walk towards a silver-grey SUV. It's in good condition, shiny, clean, practically new. _Did I mention it was clean?_ Not a bit of paper or dust or anything is on the floor. _Wow._

As we near the hospital, with no noise but the radio keeping us company, my phone chirps.

Carlisle.

Oh God.

"Are you going to answer?" Matthew asks. I jolt in shock but immediately go into action.

"Hey Carlisle."

"Bella. Where are you? I've got some news about Edward."

~sf***~sf***~sf***~sf***~sf***~sf***~

"Hi, could you page Dr. Cullen for me?" When I arrive back at the hospital Carlisle is nowhere to be found.

He knows I was on my way so where could he be? His phone keeps giving me the busy, straight to voice mail routine, so I can't even call him to let him know I'm here. I just have to hope that wherever he is, he can hear the page.

Five minutes of torturous pacing later I feel a hand on my shoulder. I startle and spin around, ready to uppercut the weirdo who sneaks up on unsuspecting people, and see that it's just Carlisle.

"Oh my God! Please, don't ever do that again!"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle you."

He directs me to Renee's room where I am greeted with an empty bed.

"Carlisle! Where is she? Did something happen after I left? I knew I should have stayed, but no I had to be all melodramatic and selfish and-"

"Bella, calm down. Remember I told you we were going to run some tests on her? Well the theater only just got cleared so she just left. As a matter of fact that's where I came from."

"Oh. Um... cool, I guess. So you said you had some news about Edward?"

"You want to sit?"

"Um... no I'm good thanks." Sitting would only lead to me bouncing my feet like a junkie that's jonesing for her next fix. But, just in case I'm not 'good' I decide to lean against the wall to the left of the window.

"A few minutes after you left Esme called me in tears. Don't worry, it's nothing bad. I realize I probably shouldn't have said it quite like that. I apologize. Anyway she told me that Edward's eyes are opened but he's not focusing on anything in particular. His doctors came on the phone and explained to me that the accident may have caused his brain to go into shock and that the jolt from the impact may have caused some nerve damage. Which explains why he's not focusing. They're going to run some tests to see how bad the damage is and if it's reparable. Oh and Esme told me that he kept moving his lips like he was talking but no sound was coming out. That's understandable. I mean after a long nap our voice comes out raspy so just multiply that by ten and we have Edward's situation."

"Did they ever figure out what he was saying?"

"Yes. He was just repeating the same thing really. He was saying your name Bella."

* * *

**T****he ****medical ****information ****in ****this ****chapter ****is ****all ****from ****my ****head. ****I ****am ****not ****a ****medical ****expert ****nor ****do ****I ****claim ****to ****be ****so ****take ****all ****these ****health ****stuff ****with ****a ****grain ****of ****salt... thank ****you!**

**Don't judge me!**

**P.S writing while high on meds is not fun...just saying. So if this chapter was utter rubbish don't blame me, blame the drugs.**


	22. Getting closure

**A/N: this was a hard one to write, so buckle up darlings! Please be warned that I don't mean to offend with anything I may have written about in this chapter about Renee's unborn child. If I do then I am terribly sorry.**

**The sequel will take off a couple months later so I'll bring as much closure here as possible without giving away the storyline of part 2.**

* * *

**BPOV**

******A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles- Christopher Reeve**

"My name?"

"Yes. He kept saying 'Bella', well more like mouthing it."

"What does that mean? I mean, what is he trying to say?"

"Well, honestly, we don't know. But I have an idea that I think might help, if you're willing of course..."

"Anything. What can I do?"

Carlisle explains the specifics of his plan. I'm a bit skeptical but he seems to be so sure that it'll work so I go along with it. By the time we're finished talking Renee is wheeled back in. Well her bed is anyway.

She looks just as immobile and pale as she did before, only this time there are more wires hooked up to her head. Even though I know it's the last thing she'd want, I began to feel sorry for her. Yes she had been a lousy mom the past couple of years but does that mean she deserves this hell she's going through? I don't think it does.

"Carlisle? What are all those new wires for?"

"Bella, they're simply to monitor the brain activity so that we see the minute anything changes. She can't afford to have another stroke, neither can the baby. Speaking of the baby, Bella, we need to start talking over our options here."

_Oh God. I'm not ready yet._

So I do the cowardly thing and yawn.

"Maybe we can talk when I'm more awake?"

He relents and leaves me alone.

I use that free time, not to sleep but just to clear my mind. I know that as soon as I open my eyes he's gonna want answers.

The more I try to come up with an answer, the more my head hurts.

My cellphone rings and the caller-id flashes with the answer to my prayers, prayers that I hadn't been aware I was saying.

"Bells. How's it going? You're neglecting me again. Loverboy's keeping you so busy that you forgot about little old me?"

"It's nothing like that. You won't even believe the half of it if I told you."

"Hey, what's wrong? It's not like you to sound so doom and gloom. Who do I have to pummel?"

"Oh Jake. I think this bigger than even your fists can help. How much time do you have?"

"For my best friend? All evening. Spill."

"Jake, do you remember how I told you Renee and I were starting to get back to a good place?"

"Yeah. Did something happen to change that?"

"She's in a coma. And pregnant."

"She's pregnant huh? So, how long until you're a big sis?"

"You know, I never even asked. That's horrible. I'm a horrible person. That's why everyone I love is being punished."

"Bella, calm down okay. You're mom's in a coma, of course your main focus'll be on her getting better and not some unborn child. It sounds harsh I know, but until that child is here, in your arms, his or her life is not tangible, not like your mom's. Wait...what do you mean everyone you love's being punished?" Jake's voice moves from smooth and sympathetic to curious in a second.

"Edward's in a coma too. Isn't that ironic? No. Not ironic, morbid, twisted, unfair, surreal. Not right. He should be here. I need him here. I- I - I need somebody here with me. I can't do this alone anymore Jake. I love Carlisle for doing everything he can, but I need Edward. Oh God I need him."

"Bella. Please don't cry."

"No Jake. Don't tell me not to cry. Because if I don't cry I'll break. I'll just fall to little pieces and no amount of consoling will ever put me back together. He's not here. I caused him to get into an accident because I'm a selfish bitch who was so desperate to get her mother back she didn't stop for one second to leave a stupid note. Jake. I can't."

I don't remember hanging up the phone, I don't remember curling up into a ball on the extra bed and I certainly don't remember falling asleep.

I feel the bed sink behind me and, for a brief moment, I smile, thinking it's Edward. Then I remember where I am.

"Hey Bells."

_Jake?_

"Jake? How did you-"

"Shh. Just go back to sleep. We'll talk when you wake up." And for the first time in a long while, I actually sleep peacefully.

* * *

I wake up to voices talking in hushed tones. The voices were familiar but I'm not awake enough yet to figure out who or what they're talking about.

I yawn and roll over and, standing there hunched over Renee and Carlisle, is Jake.

_When did he get here? I thought that was a dream..._

"Jake? What are you doing here? How'd you know where to find me?"

"After you hung up on me I called Rose's and she told me where you were. Why didn't you tell Charlie what's been going on?"

"I didn't want to worry him?" Suddenly I'm less sure of my 'brilliant' idea.

"Bells, come on! So what was your plan then huh? Go on piling more and more stress on yourself until you had a meltdown? Were you ever going to tell me? What if I hadn't called? What then?"

"Don't you shout at me Jacob Black! But, I just, I didn't think that far ahead. I just knew that I didn't want to burden anybody. I thought I was strong enough to handle it on my own. But I'm not."

"Yes you are Bella. If you weren't strong then you would have called for help. You're strong but sweetie, you don't have to be. That's what friends and family are here for. Now pull up those big girl britches and give me a hug!"

I push out of the bed and run into his arms.

* * *

"So Bella, now that you've had time to think over the baby dilemma, what's the plan" asks Carlisle.

Jake and I had spent the better part of three hours going over the possibilities with Carlisle. He told me that there was one of two options. The first was keeping Renee on life support as little more than a cocoon for the baby. If I did this then it was possible that Renee could end up brain damaged if she ever woke up at all. The other option was definitely much more drastic. It meant delivering the baby in the next few weeks, she would have crossed the _limt of viability_, and becoming more agressive in treating Renee.

"Wow. I'm still trying to process everything. Can I hear some more about option two? It sounds...scary, and dangerous."

"Yeswell, it is touch and go. At such an early stage in the developmental process the baby should not be removed from the mother's womb. The fetus, once removed, will be immediately placed in the incubator, intubated and closely monitored. At that point we have to be on high alert because anything can happen. But, without having to worry about drugs being too harsh for someone carrying a child, there are so many more avenues we could explore with your mother. That's not to say option one doesn't have it's pros and cons as well. Neither option is a guarantee. So basically, what I need you to decide is, how much are you willing to sacrifice."

"Well, since you put it that way..." I say sarcastically. "Sorry. I didn't mean that. This is hard."

* * *

**EsmePOV **

**"What force is more potent than love." ****Igor Stravinsky**

**A/N: this chapter is very choppy but there is method to my madness, as you should well know by now.**

"Edward? Can you hear me sweetheart?" _I know he can hear me, he just can't respond. Yet. But he's strong, so I know he'll fight his body and come back to us._

"Mom? Are you okay?" I didn't realize Emmett hadn't left with Rose.

"Yes. I'm fine. Just trying to see if Edward responds."

"You heard the doctors, we can't force him. He'll come out of it on his own time. Besides, we've been here nonstop since he got here, if our voice was what it took to wake him up then he would've by now."

"Thank you very much Negative Nelly." I chide teasingly.

"You know what I'm saying is true."

"Yes. I know."

"Good. Now that you understand, time to go home mom."

"Oh no you don't. I'm staying!"

"Mom. Don't make me call Dad!"

"Fine."

* * *

"Emmett. Wake up! We have to get to the hospital."

I hear movement behind the door so I head towards the kitchen to check breakfast.

"Good morning Esme."

"Oh Rose I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you. Good morning dear. Have a seat, breakfast's almost finished."

* * *

"Okay. I guess we can give it a try."

"Bye, love."

"Bye, Carlisle."

_Well, here's hoping that works._

"Emmett, Rosalie, can I have a word?" The two are sitting either side of Edward's bed. They look up, acknowledging my request.

I walk out into the hall.

"Your father just called me Emmett. He and Bella have an idea for something that may help Edward come out of his...daze."

"Yeah? What?"

"Remember last night you said that if all it took was our voice then Edward would have come back to us by now? Well Carlisle was also thinking along those lines. He figures that if Edward hears Bella's voice, maybe something might click."

"So how is that gonna work? She's gonna call and we put her speakerphone?"

"Something like that. But first I'm gonna need you to do something for me."

"Anything Mom."

* * *

"Okay are we all set?"

"Yup. We're ready to go."

"Bella? Are you ready?"

She nods her affirmation and I send up silent prayers that this actually works.

We move the tablet over Edward's open eyes and for a few seconds we hold our breath.

Nothing happens, so I instruct Bella to start speaking.

"Edward. Edward wake up. I need you. You cannot give up on me. You can't."

Still nothing.

"Edward, please. Come back to me. I love you, I miss you and everyone here needs you to be okay. Can you do that? Can you fight for us? Fight to save us from falling apart. Because right now we need you to be our hero."

Nothing.

"Edward Cullen you listen to me! If you do not wake up right this instant I'll- I'll- I'll hate you! You'd be no better than Renee! Weaseling your way into my heart, making me love you, making me need you, only to abandon me just when I can't function without you. You can't do this to me! I won't allow it. Do you hear me? I won't let you leave me!"

You could hear the raw emotion in her voice as she fights the tears.

I would love to say that after that heart breaking speech Bella gave, Edward miraculously becomes receptive but he just lies there, staring right through Bella.

"Bella, it's not working. I'm sorry we put you through that. Get back to your mom."

We close the connection and I excuse myself to go to the restroom. I don't want them to see me cry. I don't want to be comforted. I just want to feel.

* * *

Two hours after the failed attempt to revive Edward meets us eating horrible Chinese take out while watching Tyler sleep on the couch.

We were so busy not paying attention to the lack of movement from Edward that we almost missed it. His head sort of turned to the side. Most people would dismiss this as his head lolling to the side, but it's the most movement he's done since this ordeal began.

I smack Emmett on the leg, afraid to speak, and he looks over to where I'm pointing.

Edward's head turns in the other direction and our eyes lock. This time I can tell he's focusing.

"Edward. Honey, can you hear me?"

He continues to stare at me, but his face shows his avid concentration, he's trying to answer me.

"Don't force it baby. It'll take some time. Emmett, go call the doctor."

* * *

"Edward, I'm going to need you to follow the light. Up...down here...over here...here. Good. His responses are improving. How'd this happen exactly? Explain it to me again."

"Well, last night Emmett and I were speaking and he made a comment about our voices not being enough. When I brought it up with Carlisle, I guess something clicked for him. So we organized a video conference with Edward's girlfriend. For two hours nothing happened. I was just about to give up hope. Then he began looking around. Well, the rest is, as they say, history."

"Remarkable."

"Not really. Love is a powerful motivator."

"That it is Esme."

* * *

Two days have passed since Edward's 'reawakening'. He still hasn't spoken yet but I haven't lost hope.

He's been moving around a lot more now, though he still has to be assisted to walk. Aro tells me that that is perfectly normal, his legs are weak from a lack of use; one month is a long time to not use your limbs.

When we told Bella and Carlisle the news, that was the most emotional phone call I've ever had. Bella was crying non-stop and kept mumbling something about passing the test. I didn't ask her what she was talking about and instead chalked it up to emotional and mental fatigue. Carlisle had wept like a baby and had a renewed vigor to deal with Renee's case.

Now that Edward was nearly back to his old self again we had resumed sleeping in our own beds and visiting during the designated visiting hours. Emmett went back to his regular work hours as well.

I pull into the hospital car park and notice Rose's car parked two spots away from mine.

As I get to Edward's room I notice he's sitting up, and in his lap is a wriggling Tyler. Rose is nowhere in sight.

"Hey sweetheart. Where's your momma huh? Good morning Edward."

"Right behind you Esme. I just went to get some coffee. And Tyler insisted on staying with Edward."

* * *

The days all blend into each other. Edward is walking, eating, dressing himself now. But he still isn't speaking. But we find other ways to communicate.

He passes me a note.

_Mom, I want to go home. I'm better now._

"No you're not Edward. You're getting there but...you still can't speak sweetheart."

_Yeah but who needs to talk anyway. It's completely overrated._

"Edward. Stop being stubborn."

_Fine. Can we at least go somewhere today? I'm suffocating in here._

"I'll speak with Aro. Have anywhere special in mind?"

_No. Just as long as it's outside of this place!_

After speaking with Aro, Edward and I are driving towards the house Carlisle rented. I fix him a nice lunch and he sits watching television as he eats.

* * *

_When's Bella coming back?_

"Edward. We've talked about this. She needs to be there for her mother. Renee and the baby need her."

_I get that Mom, but I need her too. If it weren't for her I'd still be trapped in my head. I just want he to know how much I appreciate her. I love her Mom._

"I know you do son. She loves you too and I'm sure she knows how much you appreciate her, But you have to let her see this through. For her sake, let her be."

_How?_

"Son, all you have to do is get better so that when she does come back there's nothing keeping you from being together."

And I could see in his face that his attempt to regain his speech is going to be intensified for the next few days for however long it takes.

Two weeks after Edward 'woke up' he finally says his first sentence.

"Mom, I want to go home now."

And I cry.

My baby boy is back.

Everything is finally getting back to where it should be. Our little family circle is taking baby steps forward, and I know that we can only go up from here.

* * *

**As a premie myself this was a topic close to my heart. Please go check out http: /www(dot)marchofdimes(dot)com/ baby/ premature _ indepth(dot) html for more information. A baby has a 50% chance of survival if delivered at 24 weeks.**

**Do you think she was right in finally crying out for help? Did Jake do the right thing by coming to her rescue? Do you believe Edward's recovery? Was it too quick or not quick enough? What do you think Bella will decide regarding the whole Bella situation? Let me know what you think. Keep an eye out for the sequel. Add me on alert so you'll know as soon as it's posted!**

**Thank you for joining me on this crazy journey. This story wouldn't be what it is today without your support. See you on the flip side!**

**Love ya!**


	23. A sneak peek of A Hero Moves Forward

**I know it has been a long time, and no amount of excuses could explain away my absence, but just know that I am deeply sorry for the wait that I've had you doing. My degree is almost complete (the taught part of it anyway) so that means I should have time to write more often now...well in between my internship and writing my Research Paper of course. I decided that I would give you a little teaser of what's to come in the Slowly Forward universe :)**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Tyler's little feet were padding through the house at his top speed running away from me. That is fast becoming his favorite game in the whole world. The 'run from Bella' game.

I let him get as far as the living room before I actually catch him this time. Each day I let him get a little bit further.

His little giggles are something that could be bottled and sold as immediate anti-depressants.

But unfortunately it's also loud. And it wakes the babies.

"Oh oh! Look at what we did! Alright mister you're coming with me. We need to go fight off the bad dream eating monster that's attacking the babies...can you help me do that?"

He nods his head in affirmation. He is always so willing to help.

**NINE MONTHS AGO**

**WASHINGTON D.C**

"What do you mean? But, I thought you said her vitals were improving doctor? I don't even know where to begin looking for all her important documents, let alone track down her lawyer or anything like that! Oh God!" I've cried too much during this entire ordeal. How many tears can one person shed? How many more tears must I shed? These chips refuse to fall my way.

"Listen, Ms. Swan, I understand that you and your mother only just found each other again…but, right now you're her only connection to the outside world. So you're going to have to do this for her. You already made the hardest decision when you approved an aggressive treatment plan. Your little sister is progressing wonderfully, soon we should be able to take her off of the respirator. She'll still need to tube feed though. You don't have to worry about her just yet. Right now you need to focus on your momma's affairs." Dr. Gerandy had been a great help during this entire ordeal, he kept me informed and calm. But what he was asking me to do right now…it's just too much.

"I- I don't know if I can. That'll mean going back to her apartment, and rifling through her things again. Are you sure you need these things right now?"

"I'm afraid so Isabella. We need to be able to know how to proceed if things don't turn around."

"Okay."

I'm a grown woman, I can do this! Right?

"Hey, Jake? Wanna go for a ride with me?" Jake, my best friend in the whole world, came all the way from Forks, Washington to spend two weeks with me. To lend me the support I so desperately needed at a time when my life was falling apart. My boyfriend was in an accident induced coma, an accident which was my fault. He was out looking for me after I had inexplicably disappeared with so much as a word. In my defense my mind hadn't been in the right place, I was focused on getting to my mother. Speaking of my mother...

* * *

**Stay tuned!**


	24. Chapter 24: And we're live!

Okay guys.** A Hero Moves Forward** will be live in:

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Okay...now!

**Toodles!**

**BTW don't you just loooooove anonymous reviewers with nothing constructive to say?**

**Haha. Au revior...**


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